Hobo with cup of change in hand: You have any change?
College kid: Sorry, I don't have any money.
Hobo: Get a fucking job, you bum.
College kid: Fuck you! You first!
Hobo: I'm working right now, asshole.
–Washington Square Park
Hobo with cup of change in hand: You have any change?
College kid: Sorry, I don't have any money.
Hobo: Get a fucking job, you bum.
College kid: Fuck you! You first!
Hobo: I'm working right now, asshole.
–Washington Square Park
Black man handing out leaflets: Your feet are like chicken nuggets, and I want to eat them!
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alex Bailey
Father to toddler: Well, what if I go crazy and bite your butt off?
–M&M World Store
Hispanic man to friends: Yo, man–I eat that pussy from *behind*!
–61st & 3rd
NYU guy: No, I don't condone cannibalism. Though I could see why you think I would.
–NYU Elevator
Overheard by: queenofscots
Woman to another: So he had this four foot midget, and he was wearing an Obama mask.
–50th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: jellybean
Stoned hipster: I'm short, right? So, like, I feel so close to the ground right now.
–3rd Ave & 11th
Waiter sticking head out of restaurant, to short bald guy: Hey! Are you a little bit of luck?
–35th & 10th
Guy selling comedy show tickets: Yeah! It's a comedy show! Yes, we've got drunken midgets and everything. No, you can talk to me, I'm not trying to sell you drugs!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Avigdor from Jericho
Frat guy to buddies: Is that the place with the midgets under the bar that take care of you while you drink?
–H&M, Broadway-SoHo
College guy: I read in an article that strippers in the city are losing work.
College girl: Oh, I didn't hear about that. I heard that bankers are losing their jobs. I didn't think strippers would ever lose their jobs.
–M4 Bus
Bouncer on phone: I don't care if they is balding, got big guts or little dicks!
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: chiddox
Flaming gay man to lover: You have a small dick that never gets erect, and you are not in my will!
–Avenue St John & Kelly Streets, Bronx
Overheard by: Li'l Squeaker
Hobo: Stop controlling my eyeballs to look at your dick!
–Times Square
30-something man: Waaaaait, did they say "dick in cider" or "dick inside her"?
–7th St & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Juicy
High school kid: I wish I had two dicks. (pause) So both of my hands have something to do in class.
–Q27 Bus Stop
Overheard by: cough.cough.cough
Woman on phone: It's not about you, it's about your small dick.
–Times Square
Girl to friend: So you're going to tutor his dick, right?
–University & 10th St
Frat boy #1: I was so trashed last night.
Frat boy #2: Have you always used the phrase “soft 3, hard 8”?
Frat boy #1: Nah, I kinda made that up last night.
Frat boy #2: You're not embarrassed?
Frat boy #1: Nah, hard 8.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Steve
Headline by: katcob
Runners-Up:
· “Drunk or Sober, You Can’t Fool Me About Pencil Lead” – Bill A
· “I Am Willing to Let the World Know How I Like My Eggs” – JohnnyB
· “It’s a Grower!” – Cass
· “Just Remember to Call “No Homo” Next Time, Okay?” – version
· “Really? Only 8 and You’re Not Embarrassed?” – Keith
· “What’s *Your* Sleep-It-Off Number?” – Coyoty
Macho frat boy #1: Yeah, if we could get free tickets to the shows or something, that'd be sweet.
Macho frat boy #2: Dude…what shows?
Macho frat boy #1: The fuckin' plays, man! Don't you go to the fuckin' plays??
Macho frat boy #2: No.
Macho frat boy #1: You're a fuckin' douchebag, man.
–Wagner College, Staten Island
Overheard by: wiggles
Frat boy: So, where are you going for the summer?
Preppy girl: Dead babies.
–C Train
Overheard by: Jacob
College bro-dude #1: Man, I really fucked up my arm.
College bro-dude #2: Yeah. You need to get an x-ray.
College bro-dude #1: Man, I knew I shouldn't have fucked a fat chick.
–Clark St, Brooklyn
Drunken guy to stoned guy: I would kiss you, but you might remember.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Lo
Girl: And so he's like, "I kissed you on the mouth last night", and I'm like "oh really? I didn't know."
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: jaytro
Dude on cell: Yeah, bro, leave it to me. I decide to cheat on my wife and I end with some stupid whore who wants to play kissie-face in a fucking Newark parking lot.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: AdHoculi
Cute girl approaches frat boy at bar: I was going to pretend I don't know you, but I do know you, and now I think I want to kiss you. Is that okay?
–Clinton & Montague, Brooklyn Heights
Latina girl on cell: Well, my cousin died two years ago, right, and on the one-year anniversary that's when I kissed him.
–Outside Victoria Fashions, 116th & 3rd
Overheard by: Chuckles
Older German woman with accent: So when she was little she used to take a bunch of sleeping pills and lay on the floor, and she wouldn't get up until someone kissed her! It was so cute!
–1 Train
Overheard by: EthanK
