Tween girl with whiskers painted on face: Did you hear what happened?
Tween friend: No, what?
Tween girl with whiskers painted on face: She pooped in a cup!
(both laugh hysterically)
–Bleecker & Mercer
Overheard by: sunny day.
Tween girl with whiskers painted on face: Did you hear what happened?
Tween friend: No, what?
Tween girl with whiskers painted on face: She pooped in a cup!
(both laugh hysterically)
–Bleecker & Mercer
Overheard by: sunny day.
Brunette meeting up with friend: Hey. You know your outfit is hideous?
Blonde: Yeah, I know.
–Manhattan
(man standing on bus gets a little too close to the man sitting in front of him)
Sitting man: Wrong person, right day. Son, do not put your genitals in my face!
–M101 Bus
(skateboarder tries to do a trick on the curb and flies face-first onto pavement)
Skateboarding friend, checking on him: Dude! His face looks like a clitoris!
–Union Square
Overheard by: I Looked Away
Crazy man to another: What the fuck's the matter with your face, man? You look like a fuckin' Rottweiler! Shit!
–Q Train
Creepy doorman to male tourist: If you wake up in the morning with a bush in front of your face, don't ask any questions.
–30 Rock
Overheard by: MusicMagGirl
Eight-year-old boy, matter-of-factly, to dorky dad: Mexican people like to put animals on their shoulders.
–108 St & Broadway
Black guy to white woman: Anyway, it turns out–and this is really weird–in Texas, they hate Mexicans as much as they hate African Americans!
–17th St & 8th Ave
Man to another: I just want to be gang-raped by a group of Latinos.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Mike
Exasperated woman to friend: And this is why I don't interfere when it comes to Mexicans!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Green Star
10-year-old to friend: You have the same name as a short, fat Mexican boy!
–Maria Hernandez Park, Bushwick
Latino gay to white gay: You have good genes, you just don't have the Latino gene that makes your face moisturize naturally. I'm like the Dick Clark of faggotry!
–12th & 1st
Overheard by: H-Bomb
Teen to friend: Make sure that you're in Guatemalan mode.
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jeremy
Professor: My name is John, but some people call me Godzilla!
–Baruch College
Overheard by: Nas T. Pezz
Middle school student to friend: Nike was probably invented by a guy named like Nathaniel Ike. Get it? N. Ike.
–Marymount School
White woman on cell: So do I call you Wayne? Weezy? Lil?
–Broadway & Lafayette
Overheard by: kdice
Thug to another: What?! Upstate?! Nigga, no no no! Hell no! I ain't trustin no nigga named Chad. Who the fuck names a nigga Chad?
–F Train
Man on cell: Aw, come on! You shittin' me. Ain't no muthafucka named "gay-org!"
–5th Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: manhattman
Teen girl on cell: My name is "princess," not "yo!"
–B61 Bus, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tastypaper
Conductor: This is Carrol Street, named after my ex-wife, Carrol Garden. She was great.
–F Train
Drunk woman to another: Well, I will see your divorce and raise you an illegitimate pregnancy!
–Court St & Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn
Girl to super skinny girl: You look pregnant, I think I have a clothes hanger in my locker. You wanna come up and check with me?
–1st Ave & 3rd St
Dad holding baby to wife with another kid in stroller: Somebody's about to get pregnant up in here… It'll be like Maury Povich.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: NOT the father
Dude on bus to child: See, women, they get to grow people. And in exchange, we get to pee standing up.
–Q64 Bus
Overheard by: a people-grower
Girl to friend: You always seem to get pregnant at the worst times.
–Queens Center Mall
Overheard by: Jenn
Girl to friend: I'm feeling fertile. Who's going to tend to that feeling for me?
–2 Train
Latino guy to friends: That's what my name means in Portuguese, "pregnancy test positive."
–84th Drive, Queens
Gay guy to friend: I woke up this morning with a condom hanging out my butt. Was that you?
–Madison Square Park
Gay 30-something: Ugh, Borat quotes are like the UGG boot of conversation.
–Broadway & Spring
Really gay guy to friend: You don't know about the Holy Trinity? It's Liza, Judy and Barbra!
–Fort Washington Ave. & 183rd St
Overheard by: RED
Flamboyant gay: My hair's too straight. I need to gay it up a bit.
–Bryant Park
Flamboyant guy: My life in New York has been more fabulous than I ever thought! I almost hit Elaine Stritch with a car this weekend!
–W 18th St
Overheard by: Dan Friedman
Father to son: No five-year-old should be asking for Chilean sea bass for dinner.
–Joralemon & Court
Dapper man on cell: You used to be able to pass for twenty… uh… eight.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Chuckell
Middle aged woman clutching Twilight book, trying to exit bus while reading: God! These novels for 13-year-olds make me hot!
–B7 Bus
Overheard by: i know, i love it too…
Prissy woman on cell: I don't care if he's six years old, he doesn't have to throw a fucking temper tantrum every time he wakes up. I mean, get over yourself.
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Eric
Guy to friend: I'm thirty years old now. I'm over thirty. I don't know how to live. I'm an "adult" now. But I don't know how to live–without someone taking care of me.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jason B
Older woman to almost-dead father: Dad, the doctor told me I have a 45-year-old vagina!
–Manhattan Office
Ginger boy to female friend: Next time we get drunk, can I fuck you in the armpit?
Female friend: That would be awkward.
–Juniper Valley Park
Boy stumbling in: Yo, then I pulled out…and she shit on my foot.
Friend: Was she hot, though?
Boy: She was 200…180 pounds. Whatever…whatever floats your boat, am I right?
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: CMAC ATTACK
