Guy: I'm a cute gay guy at NYU. I'm doing just fine, darling!
Girl: I'm a straight girl at NYU. I go through a lot of vibrators.
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Guy: I'm a cute gay guy at NYU. I'm doing just fine, darling!
Girl: I'm a straight girl at NYU. I go through a lot of vibrators.
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Mom: Oh my god! Why are these things so expensive?
Lil’ boy holding fake jewelry: Hey mommy! You know what I want to be? I want to be a girl.
Mom laughing nervously: Can you believe some of the things these kids say?
–Virgin Beauty Supply
Overheard by: Crystal
Tattooed man holding copy of Peaceful Warrior: What about this? I think I'd like this.
Girlfriend: Why?
Tattooed man: It's about a big war or something.
Girlfriend (reading back of DVD): No, no. It's about a warrior.
Tattooed man: Yeah, so there has to be a war if there's a warrior.
Girlfriend: I don't think it's about a real war, it says something here about gymnastics.
Tattooed man: Gymnastics? That's like a faggot war or something.
–Hollywood Video, Staten Island
Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor?
–Grand & Union, Brooklyn
Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed!
–17th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Little kid: Look, I'm on crack!
–Apple Store, Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: Robert
Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else…
–Walgreens, Union Square
Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium?
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: left my opium stash at home
20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did!
–Chinatown Bus
Overheard by: GavinJoyce
Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay."
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: EthanK
Hipster #1: So she said he couldn't get it up?
Hipster #2: Yeah, but she's not sure if it's just all the heroin or that he's actually queer.
Hipster #1: But I mean, isn't that the case for every dude from Wesleyan?
–L Train
Guy preaching on subway: I noticed I would always get hit on by beautiful women when I was with a woman, so I started hanging out with lesbians, and now we pick up women together.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Alexis
Panhandler going through train: God bless you, will anyone spare some money? God bless you, damm! You have a pretty white girlfriend.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Jackie
Woman giving out free loot: You girls are so pretty, want some condoms?
–Grand Central Station
Hobo: Why do rich men get to marry all the pretty girls, kill them, and get away with it?
–125th St
Trashed girl, coming out of bathroom: I hate when guys say, "you're pretty enough."
–Bar 9, 54th & 9th
Overheard by: Ladle
Big slobby schlub, loudly talking to buddy: So, she was about to become another disposable pretty girl.
–W 66th St
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Rambling crazy man: All of you women look beautiful, but in the end, y'all still have to take a shit!
–L Train
Overheard by: The City Planner
Gay man: Now that everything is lesbian, bi and transgender, I don't know if I can lead the committee anymore, 'cause I've got my gay male privilege.
–W 13th St
Man with clipboard: Do you have a moment for gay rights? (silence) C'mon, help support the people that made your clothes!
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: You mean 10-year olds in Honduras?
Thug teenage dad, about baby staring at effeminate Asian man: Oh shit, she's already got her gaydar on.
–4 Train
Chick to friends: I would be like the sluttiest gay guy and it would be totally awesome.
–Christopher St
Man: …and you know there are a ton of gays who have no problem taking it straight up the ass.
–Times Square
11-year-old thuggish boy: No homo, but he looks better than his sister.
–Bronx Playground
Black guy: I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I'm gay! I'm proud! I'm in the front seat! I love guys!
–Union St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn
Tween thugette #1, at a cologne display: I'ma get this for him for Christmas, cause he a homo! He a hydrogenate!
Tween thugette #2: No, he ugly!
–Target, Atlantic Center
Overheard by: Ashley
Dude #1: I had a dream that we got to hang out backstage with Metallica after the concert on Saturday.
Dude #2: That would be fucking awesome.
Dude #1: We would totally get laid.
Dude #2: By Metallica?
Dude #1: I'd do it.
–N Train
Overheard by: Mr. Bobo
Teen girl: Hey, did you see that really hot guy at the pool?
Boyfriend: Yeah, the one with the black hair and the nice body?
Teen girl: Yeah… He was really hot.
Boyfriend: Yeah, I'd fersure tap that.
(long pause)
Boyfriend: I think I might be gay.
–2 Train
Overheard by: bethany
