Because All the Maids Spoke Spanish?

Woman with nasal voice: I just really need to get out of here, I'd prefer to go someplace warm and interesting. But I don't know where it's warm and interesting.
Yuppie man: My boss–well, I guess I should say “my partner,” cause I made partner…but it sounds so (sexual voice) homosexual to say “my partner randy”…anyway, he just came back from Argentina and he loved it.
Woman with nasal voice: Oh! I just went to Argentina, actually. And then to Uruguay. We went to this little town, it was pretty much the Hamptons of South America.

–Barnes & Nobles, E 86th St

Posted on June 27, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Global Geography, Store, Tourism, Travel, Upper East Side, Women, Yuppies

Actually, for Any Guy in Eyeliner

Straight guy #1: I love Queen.
Straight guy #2: Yeah, Queen is awesome.
Straight guy #3: I would totally go gay for Freddy Mercury. I’m just throwing that out there.

–22nd & 7th

Overheard by: Lolito

Posted on June 25, 2015
About Celebrities, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compliments, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Music, Talking/Convos

Leave Hillary Alone, People.

Flagrantly homosexual Hispanic drag queen: So, I was like, lookin', and I realized what we been hearin' is true! And damnnnn, he looked hot.
Equally homosexual drag queen who unfortunately retained many masculine characteristics: What?! She's a man now?!

–Outside Penn Station

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on June 23, 2015
Drag queens, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Latinos, Physical appearance, Queer guys

Domo Arigato, Mr. Wednesday One-Liner

Nine-year-old boy: Sometimes I just think I am a robot. I mean, aren't I a robot?

–E 17th & Broadway

Overheard by: definitely human

Tall guy: Yeah, you have to learn not to trust those shifty-eyed robots.

–Union Square

Hipster: And, like, he wasn't even gay… he was just not human.

–88th & Park

Comic book guy: No, not Optimus Prime. But yes, I have had sexual thoughts… about robots.

–40th & 7th

Cute chick: You don't need a sex robot to have sex with a robot.

–Old Town Bar

Overheard by: Lieut. Liplock

Posted on June 21, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Pop Culture, Science, Sex, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side

Homo Enough to Wanna Get Railed?

Meathead to friend: Yo, you ever ride the monorail from here? It goes from Jamaica to da airports, it's a pretty cool trip just to see. We should take it quick, you wanna?
Friend: Yo, bro, we're on a train, you want me to detour all the way to JFK so you can ride the fucking monorail? Yo, how homo are you?

–LIRR

Overheard by: rick

Posted on June 21, 2015
Comebacks, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Meatheads, Public Transportation, Trains Not Subway, Travel

The College Equivalent Of Being a Cat Lady with Scented Candles

Guy: I'm a cute gay guy at NYU. I'm doing just fine, darling!
Girl: I'm a straight girl at NYU. I go through a lot of vibrators.

–Starbucks, Washington Square

Posted on June 19, 2015
Dildos and Vibrators, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Sexuality, Starbucks, Washington Square Park

20 Years and Three Surgeries Later, Mom Finally Stopped Laughing

Mom: Oh my god! Why are these things so expensive?
Lil’ boy holding fake jewelry: Hey mommy! You know what I want to be? I want to be a girl.
Mom laughing nervously: Can you believe some of the things these kids say?

–Virgin Beauty Supply

Overheard by: Crystal

Posted on June 12, 2015
Boys, Gays and Lesbians, Kids, Laughter, Moms, Money & Class, Questions, Shopping, Store, Wishes & desires

Then What's the War on Polyester?

Tattooed man holding copy of Peaceful Warrior: What about this? I think I'd like this.
Girlfriend: Why?
Tattooed man: It's about a big war or something.
Girlfriend (reading back of DVD): No, no. It's about a warrior.
Tattooed man: Yeah, so there has to be a war if there's a warrior.
Girlfriend: I don't think it's about a real war, it says something here about gymnastics.
Tattooed man: Gymnastics? That's like a faggot war or something.

–Hollywood Video, Staten Island

Posted on June 10, 2015
Boyfriends, Couples, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girlfriends, Movies, Questions, Staten Island, Store, War

Wednesday One-Liners Go Looking for a Vein

Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor?

–Grand & Union, Brooklyn

Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed!

–17th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Dave

Little kid: Look, I'm on crack!

–Apple Store, Staten Island Mall

Overheard by: Robert

Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else…

–Walgreens, Union Square

Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium?

–Uptown 6 Train

Overheard by: left my opium stash at home

20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did!

–Chinatown Bus

Overheard by: GavinJoyce

Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay."

–33rd & 7th

Overheard by: EthanK

Posted on June 10, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinatown, Compare/Contrast, Druggies, Drugs, Education, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Hard Drugs, Hobos, Kids, Malls, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, Sexuality, Staten Island, Store, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Gays and Lesbians