Ghetto girl #1: I hope he was wearing a condom on his tongue.
Ghetto girl #2: I don't think so.
–Ave L
Ghetto girl #1: I hope he was wearing a condom on his tongue.
Ghetto girl #2: I don't think so.
–Ave L
Ghetto boy #1: Hey, honey, how old are you?
Ghetto girl: I'm sixteen.
Ghetto boy #1: Hey, you wanna trade phone numbers or aim or something?
Ghetto girl: No, thanks. (leaves)
Ghetto boy #2: Ooooooh. Damn.
Ghetto boy #1: Shut up, Justin! At least I don't date ugly-ass hos like you!
Ghetto boy #2: What about Veronica?
Ghetto boy #1: I only fucked Veronica cause I was trapped!
Ghetto boy #2: Nigga, how you be trapped?
Ghetto boy #1: Fuck, man, she weighs 300 pounds!
–Pizza Place, St. Mark's Place
Ghetto girl: So I used his razor to shave my armpits and he got all pissed talkin' bout germs and shit. I told him, “with all the humpin' we's been doin' I think I'm the one who needs to be worried about germs with all your STDs!”
Ghetto friend: Word.
–6 Train
Man walking in to immigration center to immigration security guard: You look very elegant today.
–Immigration Application Support Center, Queens
Lady: Oh my gosh, Casey looks so good! You would never know that he's blind!
–W 20th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Katie AK
Slightly tipsy elderly suit: Do you know where I can find a beautiful woman? Someone to spend the rest of my life with?
–Metropolitan Museum Info Desk
A Capella group leader, walking into train: Ladies and gentlemen, happy Thursday. We are a Doo Whop group and we are here to entertain you. If you like what you hear, show us some love. If you are miserable, hell, add more fiber to your diet. This Sunday, we will be saluting the best-looking people on the subway. Have a fiberrific day!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Em Allears
Ghetto black chick after someone took a picture of her: Did you get all the beautifulness?
–Saks Fifth Avenue
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Ghetto girl: Hmm, I know what a peanut is, but what a walnut is?
–147th & Broadway
Man on cell: It's quite possible that my left nut is bigger than my right nut.
–82nd & Broadway
Girlfriend to boyfriend: So that's why Yoda sounds like busting a nut!
–Ave A & 6th St
Guy to friend: I've been bitten in the nuts by two different Scottish Terriers.
–7th Ave b/w 24th & 25th
Overheard by: Carmen
Guy on cell: I'm just like an anorexic. Every time they look in the mirror, they think "I'm not skinny enough," but I look in the mirror and think "these pants aren't tight enough," even though everyone tells me they can see my nuts.
–L Train
Guy at party: I'm known for my creepy hugs.
–16th St & Union Square
Overheard by: Kitty
Hobo: Okay, you know the drill. I'm hungry, give me money so I can buy breakfast.
(nobody does) Alright, if you don't want to give any money, if you're reasonably attractive, hug a brotha! That works too.
–F Train
Panhandler: Any little bit helps, folks. Pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters. If you don't have any money this morning and you're, like, really attractive, you can just give me a big hug and rub up on me a little bit, and we'll call it even.
–F Train
Overheard by: kdice
Woman's voice on public announcement system: You want me to hug you?
–Port Authority
Ghetto Latina, seeing MTA worker hug crying bag lady: Shit, I'm from the Bronx, born and raised, and I ain't never seen no subway man be giving out free hugs. I seen shouting matches, I seen drug deals, I seen fist fights, but I ain't never seen no free hugs in a subway station. That's some fuckin dedication right there.
–59th St. Subway Station
Overheard by: slc boy
Subway panhandler: If you don't have any food, but you do happen to be, like, incredibly good looking, I do accept hugs. (middle aged man with L.L.Bean backpack smiles and holds his arms open invitingly) I'll have to give you a raincheck on that one, sir.
–F Train
Overheard by: linda
Ghetto guy: And we had gotten a big group of girlies together to devour, we insatiable.
Ghetto girlfriend: Oh yeah, yeah, I gotcha.
–73rd & 3rd
Ghetto girl: Fuck you! Get over it.
Old Lady: Fuck you, you ho. Dressed just like a ho, too. I should know. I used to be one. Thirty five years, I was a prostitute. Tell me to get over it. Fuck you.
–95th & Amsterdam
Large ghetto lady: Astro place?
Thug: Yeah, Astro place.
Large ghetto lady: Motherfucka, can you read?!
Thug: It's Astro place, it should definitely be Astro place.
Large ghetto lady: It's Astor place, ain't no Astro place.
Thug: Like, do you throw asses at it and shit?
Large ghetto lady: Asto-o-o-o-r-r-r place (laughs condescendingly for at least a minute) Yo, I got arrested at Astor place.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Sad to say, I got off at the same stop.
Ghetto princess #1: So I said, “No way, Ay-rab, I'm not dancing with you.”
Ghetto princess #2: He wasn't Arab, he was Greek.
Ghetto princess #1: He looked like he was from Ay-ray-bica. I don't know, he just seemed crazy.
Ghetto princess #3: No, no, he was definitely Greek, cause he spoke like he was in the mafia and everything.
–A Train
