Wednesday One-Liners Will Cut a Bitch

Ghetto fabulous sister to another, walking out of bar: You gotta be a classy ho! Bitch!

–Fulton & Lafayette, Brooklyn

Woman on cell: No! He wants a fight and I'm going to fuck her up! I'm going to snap that bitch in half! (pause) I will snap that bitch in half! (pause) Okay, I love you too. (hangs up) Oh, she messed with the wrong bitch!

–27th St, between 6th and 7th

Overheard by: Hungry

Blonde yelling on cell: I was not being a bitch or picking a fight! I was saying "I love you, and these are my concerns"!

–27th St b/w Park Ave & Lexington

Overheard by: V

Girl to another: That's when I knew I was a bitch. My homegirl got kicked in the head by a ho… and I laughed!

–Coney Island Ave & Newkirk

30-something suit: I just need a bitch with an accent!

–34th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: CourtSnort

Mom to son, after looking through his phone: Who is in your phone as b-i-t-c-h?

–M60 Bus

Overheard by: Jingles

Posted on September 30, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Brooklyn, Bus, Cell Phone, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Coney Island, Fighting and ass kicking, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Insults, Kick, Laughter, Love, Moms, Money & Class, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, Parents, Questions, Street, Suits, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

Tonight's Classic Horror Movie: Slather

Ghetto girl #1: You know I look good in this outfit, but I should not have worn it today, especially after applying cocoa butter all over my ass.
Ghetto girl #2: That's why you gotta cocoa yo' ass before you go to bed at night.
Ghetto girl #1: Girl, you know I do that too.
Ghetto girl #2: Better to have too much cocoa butter on than to be a ashy hoe man like Britney Spears.

–10th Ave b/w 57th & 56th

Posted on September 29, 2009
About Celebrities, Ass, Beauty, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Food, Ghetto Chicks, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen

It's a Vicious Cycle.

Ghetto girl #1: I just stepped on a piece of dogshit on my way to work. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?
Ghetto girl #2: Spray some perfume on your shoes.
Ghetto girl #1: I already tried that, and Britney's new perfume ain't strong enough!
Ghetto girl #2: Well, then rub it in shit again!

–Broadway b/w Maiden Lane & Liberty

Posted on September 19, 2009
About Celebrities, Advice, Ghetto Chicks, Man's Best Friend, Poop, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Shoes, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

The Date Came Later, As Is Proper

Ghetto chick #1: Oh no! We didn't fuck on the first date!
Ghetto chick #2: What do you mean you didn't? Stop, stop, stop! You got me all twisted!
Ghetto chick #1: I mean… if you really think about it, it wasn't a date…

–E Train

Posted on September 10, 2009
Dating, Ghetto Chicks, On the Subway, Sex

Wednesday One-Liners: Soon to Be Gentrified

Ghetto woman on cell: No, no… he ain't ghetto. He ghetto fabulous.

–28th & Lexington

Ditzy tourist: Did you know that, like, all the trains with numbers go to all the rich places and all the trains with letters, like, go to the ghetto areas.

–6 Train

Loud guy: Is that a 50 cent soda? You know you in the ghetto when you got a 50 cent soda.

–Jackson Heights

Woman on cell: That bitch is mad ghetto. She wore her wedding dress to work.

–Lenox & 118th St

Overheard by: K

Posted on August 26, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Drinks, Ghetto Chicks, Gossip, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Marriage, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Queens, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

If It's Not Popping/ I'm Not Stopping

Angry ghetto chick #1: Bitch, after what you did to me, I ain't gonna wear no lip gloss to yo wedding!
Angry ghetto chick #2: Oh, bitch, you can try, but I will put the lip gloss on you!

–Columbus & 65th

Overheard by: Liat

Posted on August 24, 2009
Anger Management, Ghetto Chicks, Insults, Makeup, Marriage, Threats, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Except at the End You Shit Out a Baby

Ghetto girl: Jes-tay-shun! Gestation. What does that mean?
Ghetto girl's friend, thoughtfully: Like… Digestion.

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: Jess K.

Posted on July 30, 2009
Food, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Health and Hygiene, Parks, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Stupidity, The Bronx, Words

If They Could Erect Things That Quickly, Wouldn't the Freedom Tower Be Built by Now?

Ghetto girl #1: What are you staring at?!
Ghetto girl #2: That wasn't there before.
Ghetto girl #1: What?
Ghetto girl #2, very seriously: The Empire State Building!

–34th & 6th

Posted on July 13, 2009
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Ghetto Chicks, NYC Geography, Questions, Stupidity

“Luke, I Am Your Wednesday One-Liner”

Student to professor: Yeah, man, you know, because every time I slap you five, now I feel like I'm slapping your father's ass.

–Suffolk County Community College

Overheard by: Wish I was paying attention

Trashy sista' on cell: Did you know you've been nominated for an award? (pause) Yeah, I know! I mean, it's just nice to even be nominated, issa' honor. Yeah, you wanna know whacha been nominated for? You been nominated for the world's biggest deadbeat daddy!

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: I don't work here

Demi-bum to another, looking at postcards at a convenience store: Oh, I want to send a postcard to my father: Doing shitty, wish you cared!

–Fulton & Water

Teen girl to friend: Of course I got him tested!…but he wasn't the father either.

–145th & Broadway

Guard: Did you hear about that 9-year-old girl who gave birth to her own twin? I'm serious! It was inside her stomach and then she gave birth to it. And the craziest part is that the twin was from another father!

–74th & Madison

Latina girl to friend: You know, I don't even know what I saw in that loser. I should've dumped his ass the first time he tried hitting on my dad!

–58th & 6th

Overheard by: Tim J.

Posted on July 8, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, College, Compare/Contrast, Crazy, Duane Reade, Family Ties, Fighting and ass kicking, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Hobos, Insults, Kids, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Promiscuity, Questions, Security Guards, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Actually, I Hear White Castle Is a Lot Better on the Way Out

Ghetto lady, about young, drunk yuppie throwing his guts up: Daaaamn, that shit's spicy.
Ghetto man to yuppie's girlfriend: You gonna tongue-kiss that nigga now?

–D Train

Overheard by: i bet it was thai

Posted on June 25, 2009
Drunks, Gangstas, Ghetto Chicks, Girlfriends, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, On the Subway, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Vomit, Yuppies

Ghetto Chicks