Read My Lips, Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: No I'm not bringing anything, this is not a date, it's 10 o'clock on a Friday night. I'm bringing my vagina, that's what I'm bringing.

–Court St & 2nd Place

Girl on cell: I mean, there's nothing obviously wrong with my vagina!

–23rd & 7th

Girl on bike: I feel like I've had a pencil up my vagina for 10 hours!

–Hudson River Bike Path

Distraught NYU student: I'm covered in vaginal cream.

–NYU Dorm, Union Square

Overheard by: Erica Fuld

Hurried young guy on cell: Well, you can't just sniff anyone's vagina!

–W 52nd b/w 9th & 10th Ave

Gay on phone: But what does her vag look like?

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Liz

Posted on September 25, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dating, Girls, Guys, Hook Ups, Hudson River, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Street, Students, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

A Toxic Shock for the Bystanders

Girl #1: When she was up on stage, she totally pulled her tampon out and threw it into the crowd.
Girl #2: That’s sick!
Girl #1: I think it’s so cool. I’ve always wanted to do that.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Mike

Posted on September 25, 2022
Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Menstruation, On the Subway, Theater & Dance, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

If New Yorkers Ran Disney, We’d Have Classic Films Like Beauty and the Bestiality

White girl: … And then he took my camera and held it for me during the rest of the ceremony. He’s so sweet…
Indian friend: Okay, seriously? That’s not romantic, that’s pockets!
White girl: I guess he–
Indian friend, interrupting: –We’re so messed up. We think it’s romantic when people give up their seats for us on the subway. I mean, anything Disney did to give us unrealistic expectations New York kicked right out of us.

–F train

Posted on September 24, 2022
Friends, Girls, Gripes, On the Subway, Pickiness

A Little Wednesday One-Liner in a Big Pond

Drunk girl: I just love a cock in my mouth! It is a fact of my life, like Blair and Tootie. I want to be carnivorous. I will eat fish if it's the only thing on the menu, but I really just want some meat! I'm not fishiverous!

–Party, Ditmars Boulevard, Astoria

Overheard by: likes steak AND seafood

Girl to friend: Surely if she was ever in possession of a penis, then on merit she would inherit the family lobster farm?

–28th & 7th

Ginger: Garibaldi… That is so weird. That is the name of the California state fish. I wonder if the statue is named after the fish.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: camillo cavour

Man to wife: That's too much calamari, even for a homeless guy.

–East Village

Posted on September 24, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, BJs, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Food, Friends, Girls, History & Geography, Homeless, Names, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Parks, Penis, Street, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Visual Art, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

But Do They Message You the Morning After?

Engineer #1: I would poke her, man. I would poke the life out of her.
Engineer #2: I have poked her. I have poked the life out of her.
Girl, walking by: Look, you two need to get laid. Facebook means nothing to us girls; we get a billion pokes a day.

–Brooklyn Polytechnic Institute

Posted on September 23, 2022
Brooklyn, College, Girls, Innuendo, Internet, People, Places, Pop Culture, School, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Students, Topics, Venues

Not in the Face, Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: You keep talking over me–it makes me want to punch you in the uterus.

–Ray's Pizza, 52 & 8th

Overheard by: Jarett

Guy to friend: You keep referring to me as "that guy" and we'll see how long you stay conscious.

–33rd & 7th

Nervous man seated against the wall: I don't like this seat. I don't like sitting here. I like to sit on the aisle. What if there's a fight? I don't want to be trapped in a place with a fight.

–Off-Broadway Theatre

Overheard by: Hannah

Ghetto chick: Can't you get somebody else to fuck him up? Why you gotta do it?

–W Train

Overheard by: sara n.

Man: He was trying to turn his alcoholism into a positive thing instead of attacking the guy who raped his sister.

–The Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: Slightly confused, yet intrigued…

Girl on cell: Remember that time you got into a fight with an inch worm?

–Chambers St

Overheard by: Shooty

Posted on September 22, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Fighting and ass kicking, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Insects, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Punch, Questions, Rape, Sex, Store, Street, Theater, Threats, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Words

I Thought “She” Was Terence Trent D’Arby

Chick #1: You know, a year ago I didn’t even know who Tracy Chapman was.
Chick #2: Even I knew who she was, and I’m not even black!
Chick #1: Well, I’m not black in the ways that count. I’m not outwardly, identifiably black…Well, except for my skin color.

–Broadway & 116th

Posted on September 22, 2022
Black People, Girls, Idiots, Music, Race, Singing, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Tonight's Movie: Charlie and the Chocolate Martini

Girl on cell: Dude, drunk chocolate is the best!
Random man passing by: Yes, it is.

–Union Square

Posted on September 14, 2022
Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Girls, On Cell, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Like to Watch

Girl on phone: This is so crazy because I was just watching Gossip Girl and I was like: "Oh my god, no one has dinner at Butter!" But then you just called me and invited me to dinner at Butter! It’s totally out of control.

–Barnard College

Man: The Tudors is like Law & Order for British actors. If you can’t get a job anywhere else, there’s always that.

–Cort Theater

Overheard by: office peon

Young man to friend: It’s called Tudor Place. Hey, you know that show on showtime, The Tudors? Maybe it’s that family and they moved over here. Because the buildings do look old.

–Bryant Park

Hipster: I watched Lost one time. I watched Lost one time! A big monsoon was coming and some dude closed a door on it. Closed a door on the monsoon! I was like: "Fuck this, I’m done."

–Outside an Irish Pub, 54th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: jon

Soccer mom: Charles in Charge was a consistently good show.

–51st St & 8th Ave

Posted on September 11, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Bryant Park, Columbia (& Barnard), Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, Jobs & Careers, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Names, On Cell, Stupidity, Theater, TV, Weather, Words

Girls