Guy: Well, it’s about what we think would happen if there was a Starbucks in the land of Oz.
Girl: Wow!
–Grand Saloon, 23rd between 3rd & Park
Guy: Well, it’s about what we think would happen if there was a Starbucks in the land of Oz.
Girl: Wow!
–Grand Saloon, 23rd between 3rd & Park
Dude leaving bathroom: Man, I really want some popcorn.
Man at bar stool: What, baby? You want some poppers?
Dude leaving bathroom, to friend: The sad thing is that’s not the first time that happened to me today.
–The Duplex
Girl to class: I love classical music! I listen to the Bambi soundtrack all the time!
–Curtis High School, Staten Island
Guy in lobby, at intermission: Hands down, the best band I've ever seen in concert… Hootie and the Blowfish.
–Jazz at Lincoln Center
Guy on cell: I guess they're musicians. They put bitches ahead of practice.
–79th St b/w York & 1st
Overheard by: Queixa
Gay man to another, walking out of a bank: I mean, if you listen to like, one Sade song every six years, it's okay.
–15th St & 8th Ave
Lesbian: Fuck her! All she wants to do is stay home and sit in the kitchen and drink beer and listen to Melissa Etheridge! Fuck her! She can take a cab home!
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Kateri
Straight girl with a seat at the piano: No, I've never been here before, but I'm actually having a good time. I mean, I don't know most of these songs, but earlier he was playing The Sound of Music, and I was rocking out to that.
–Marie's Crisis Piano Bar
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Crazy old cat lady to guy who just shut off obnoxiously loud music in next lane: Why'd you shut it off? I liked that song!
–Marathon Parkway & Northern Boulevard
Guy #1: Dude, I just shit in my pants.
Guy #2: My story wasn’t that funny.
Guy #1: No, I really took a shit in my pants.
–N train
Guy #1, yelling: Fuck yeah! Put that one in the satchel!
Guy #2: That had “skankalicious” written all over it.
–35th & 7th
Overheard by: GJL
Headline by: Porter
Runners-Up:
· “Britney’s Got a New Clothing Line?” – Ray
· “In Accordance With the New Truth in Graffiti Regulations” – bq
· “It’s the New “Gucci”” – JohnnyB
· “Someone Tell Fergie to Stop Making Up Song Titles” – Botticus
· “The New Mariah Carey Doll Created Unexpected Collectors” – EddieA
Chick: We could liquor him up and steal his soul.
Guy: Why would we want his soul?
Chick: Because black is the new black.
–140th & Broadway
Guy: I don’t think you’re supposed to like being incarcerated.
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: mkb
Middle-aged man on phone: I’m telling you, if I turn myself in now I won’t be in court for six months.
–50th & 8th
Grungy guy to his friend: …Dude, you have no idea how many times I’ve been in this courthouse…
–Giants Parade, in Front of the Courthouse
Overheard by: Julian
Guy on phone: We really got ourselves in some deep shit with this one. I hope he gets out sooner for good behavior. We should have never gotten involved.
–JFK Airport
Woman, yelling in stall: I will read you your Miranda rights, bitch! I will arrest you!
–Port Authority Women’s Bathroom
Overheard by: unsure if she is crazy or on the phone
Cashier on phone: No, you don’t understand, miss. That is perjury. If I do that, I will go to jail… No, you are not listening to me. I would be arrested. I would serve time…[hangs up, turns to customers.] Can I help you?
–Harlem U-Haul
Guy #1: I think I'm going to go to Fortunoff's after work tomorrow to get the ring.
Guy #2: Why don't you just go to that place around the corner? You know, uh… Stephanie's!
Guy #1: You mean Tiffany's?
Guy #2: Yeah! Tiffany's!
–Financial District
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago.
–34th & 7th
Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
–33rd St & 31st Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Wade
Woman: It’s not like someone put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cha
Guy on cell: Yes, I’m interested in your sparring class…No, you see I want to hit somebody.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Braincurve
Thug, to his girlfriend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock.
–Central Park
Queer: Wow, he’s cute.
Straight guy: Yeah… So, do you want to fuck him?
Queer: No, I want him to fuck me.
–Central Park
