Huge black guy #1: Oh man, they have a wonderful exfoliator. It's wonderful!
Huge black guy #2: Oh, yeah man. You know where we got to go? It's this place called lush!
–Time Warner Center
Huge black guy #1: Oh man, they have a wonderful exfoliator. It's wonderful!
Huge black guy #2: Oh, yeah man. You know where we got to go? It's this place called lush!
–Time Warner Center
Ghetto girl #1: You are so ignorant!
Ghetto girl #2: Don't call me that! You know I hate that word!
Ghetto girl #1: What do you want me to call you? Lactose intolerant?
–A Train
Girl #1: I wish someone would tie my pubic bone back together.
Girl #2: don't you mean your “pelvic” bone?
Girl #1: No dude, it's definitely my pubic bone that's all shifted.
–Urban Outfitters, 14th & 6th
Angry bus driver: Get out of my rear. Get out of my rear.
–Q44 Bus
Overheard by: This is why men do not give birth
Law professor, pulling out a cough drop: Sorry guys, if I don't suck on this, I just won't make it.
–CUNY Law School
Overheard by: That's what she said
Chemistry teacher: No, it's really warm here. (pause) Feel my test-tube.
–Stuyvesant High School
Large black lady to girlfriend: I'm not gonna let him put his babbaganush in my peace pipe!
–Houston St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: ian has a face
Loud woman on cell: Yes, he stuck it up my right one, and when it was halfway in, I was like "ow, you need to take it out!" and then he stuck it up my left one, and I felt no discomfort!
–72nd & 2nd
Old lady to another: So is there an oral tradition in your family then?
–86th & Broadway
Overheard by: Frenchie
Middle-aged woman: My work is better than my personality, honestly.
–40th b/w Park & Madison
Overheard by: Jim
Girl on cell: But you don't speak English or Spanish good. Baby, you just aren't that smart, how you supposed to get a job?
–Baskin & Robbins Downtown
Conductor: I really don't give a damn whether or not you stand clear of the closing doors, because regardless of where we go I'm still working.
–1 Train
Overheard by: gefilte fish junkie
Hobo, arguing with another: Don't talk to me like I'm yo' job.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Emily
Whiny lady on cell: Yeah, so I think I am allergic to my office. (pause) Oh, no, no, I am positive I am allergic to something in the office. Every time I am in there, sitting in my chair, I get these pains in my back.
–41st St & Park Ave
Overheard by: you still have a job, ungrateful lady!
Hobo to passers-by: Where are you all going? There ain't no jobs.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jillian
Woman #1: Did you tell your friends about my constipation?
Woman #2: No, I didn't, they wouldn't appreciate it.
–79 & 3rd
Tween thug #1: Yo, Beth Israel hospital. You gotta be a Jew to go there? Haha!
Tween thug #2, somberly: No. My grandmother was in there.
Tween thug #1: Oh. I'm sorry… Shit! Look, that's where we got arrested! They cuffed me on that corner!
Tween thug #2: Yo, what time is it?
Tween thug #1: 5:11. (pause) Oh damn, my momma told me I had to be home at 5! She gonna kill me.
–B82 Bus
Nanny to four-year-old: Please stop screaming, you are going to give me a headache!
(pause)
Four-year-old: I had a headache once!
–Upper West Side Elevator
Drunk guy to hot girl: We should get some Viagra, so we can still have sex even though I've been drinking.
Hot girl to drunk guy: How about you just don't get drunk every night.
–Spring Loung, SohO
Nerdy tourist boy looking at display: My depth perception is yelling at me…
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: jules
Pizza guy on cell: Have a good 4th… What? No, I said to have a good 4th, not "may the force be with you." (pause) Have a good 4th. (pause) Yeah, have a good 4th, and may the force be with you. Uh- huh. Good night.
–Dekalb & Hall St, Brooklyn
Indian nerd to friends, in the midst of heated debate: Dude, vitamins are fucking weak!
–Grand Central Subway Platform
Overheard by: djprojexion
Geek on cell, in line at Comic Con: Dude, I'm at the con… It's like, ten times more awesome…than anything awesome!
–NYC Comic Con
Overheard by: RedmanInc
Nerdy guy: Some super powers come with implied powers. Like the power of flight. You assume the power of wind resistance, because you'd get pretty freaking cold flying 200 mph. But no one ever thinks of that.
–Fordham Law School
