Queer: Things are sad.
Hag: We both suck.
Queer: The world is a Jew.
Hag: …what?
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: RaRa
Queer: Things are sad.
Hag: We both suck.
Queer: The world is a Jew.
Hag: …what?
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: RaRa
Old Jewish woman at the start of Yom Kippur: I think god wants me to be in a theater rather than in temple.
–45th & 8th
Little boy to friend: It wasn't until last year that I realized that not everybody is Jews!
–Near Columbia
Overheard by: CSims
Gym receptionist discussing television series Mad Men: It's sexist against women…and Jews, too!
–10th & 7th
Overheard by: Zack
Elderly Jewish woman, in hushed voice, to elderly Jewish man: My rabbi is an atheist who lives in Israel! What can you say?
–Brooklyn College
Overheard by: Rabbi's Agnostic daughter
Goyish looking guy with toddler in stroller: Well, you know the Hebrews always like to celebrate the New Year–especially in a year that ends in '69, if you know what I mean.
–Mercer & Broome
Overheard by: Garuda
Woman on cell: We're on the bus run by Hassidic Jews, ya know, like Woody Allen… It's like the Jewish express!… Nah, I'm covering up the phone so no one hears me.
–Vamoose Bus, Penn Station
Six-year-old girl to middle-aged passenger: Well, I'm Jewish, but my parents are Aries. So I'm not really sure what that makes me.
–Amtrak
Overheard by: half Jewish, half Gemini
Guy: Oh, I know Jewish girls give good head!
–81st & Amsterdam
Awkward Catholic boy: These days there are more Jews in New York than Israel…and they all worship Barbara Walters as their Spider Queen.
–Steps of The Met
(outside the Marionette Theater's showing of Jack and the Beanstalk)
Four-year-old: Fee fi fo fum, I smell the blood of a Jewish man.
–Outside the Marionette Theatre, Central Park
Drunk guy inside German bar, pointing at small guy with a jewfro: Juden!
–German Beer Garden, Williamsburg
Overheard by: POLA
Woman on cell: Well, he wasn't as forthcoming with me as he is with you, probably because I keep telling him to stop dating that fat Asian girl and find himself a nice Jewish girl instead …
–Broadway & Prince
20-something guy to date: Yeah, I had mine done by a real mohel.
20-something girl, awkwardly: Oh, really?
20-something guy: Yep, the guy's whole job is to go around chopping off babies' dicks.
–American Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: dream profession?
Drunk guy to foreign friend: So basically everyone in the US is either Irish, Italian, or German…but there are a lot of Puerto Ricans in my neighborhood.
–L Train
Overheard by: bildita
Rockabilly-styled hipster on cell: Just take your cheap Jewish ass back to Korea Town!
–St. Mark's Place
Tourist: There are so many Chinese in this city and they all speak fucking Spanish! It blows my mind!
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Girl on cell: So I may be a Siamese twin…
–57th & 10th
Overheard by: evil em
Woman exiting a Subway restaurant: I feel like I just ate a Mexican immigrant.
–56th & 10th Ave
Overheard by: A Mexican
Black guy to Jewish guy: Hey man, you look pretty Jewish.
Jewish guy: Yeah, I know. You look pretty black.
–St. Mark's Place
Crazy hobo: Taco Bell is outta meat. Taco Bell… Is outta meat. I ask for a taco, they say, "We outta meat." What the fuck!? How you run outta meat at Taco Bell? You don't see me runnin' outta weed! Shit. Taco Bell is outta meat.
–Wendy's, 14th Street
Overheard by: Zack
Curious teenage girl: What is that on the floor? Ew! I hate when people leave bags of meat on the subway!
–R Train
Jewish lawyer, answering his desk phone: Weinstein's house of kosher pork. How may I direct your call?
–Newsroom, Midtown
Preppy teen: I am like, a total whore for salami.
–280th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: casayoto
Woman on cell talking about her upcoming weekend: Mah husband's gone, my kids is gone, I'm jus' goin' lie on the floor and eat some baloney. Mmm hmm. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Das' right. I'm gonna eat some baloney, and some cheese?-I'm goin' make myself a baloney sandwich.
–4th St Station
Overheard by: Jess
Professor: This episode contains a bunch of Jewish stereotypes, so I want to show a lot of it.
–Lincoln Center, Fordham University
Overheard by: Hartley
Boy with chinstrap and McDreamy quaff: Yo man, you tellin' me you never heard the story about when we got chased down by 1,000 Jews?!
–7-Eleven, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Brandi, Anna and a bunch of other people
Stunning black girl with big afro, to nebbishy guy eating Chinese food: I can be Jewish in three months. Does it require any money? No! Fuck you! I can be Jewish in three months!
–back garden at madame x
Overheard by: Erica
Woman walking past Young Frankenstein posters: Oh my god! Mel Brooks is like my favorite old Jew ever!! Well, except for Moses and Abraham.
–Hilton Theater
Overheard by: Roy
Hipster on cell: Your friend just came up to me, grabbed my nose, and asked, "Are you Jewish?"
–Piano's Lounge
Overheard by: Brittany Smith
Mysterious and intense voice amid grunts and groans: Oh yeah! Give it to me, you fucking Jewish dickhead!
–Building, 46th & 10th
Overheard by: Not a Sexual AntiSemite
Frat boy: That is the last time I am *ever* jacking off to gay porn.
–Gristedes, 42nd St
Overheard by: …while sober or drunk?
Frat boy to another frat boy staring intently at a young woman dressed as a Hogwarts student: I am really drunk!
–14th St & University Place
Midwest frat dude: The ugliest girls in New York City are like the hottest girls I've ever seen!
–St.Marks & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: slohmie
Frat boy: Dude, I'm not hating -I love gay guys. All I'm saying is -they buy a lot of Kosher wine.
–23rd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Dina
Frat boy: We've had sex everywhere… In cars, in public places…I've seen her vagina more times than I've seen my mother's!
–Wagner College
Nurse #1: So what are you guys doing for passover?
Nurse #2: Nothing.
Nurse #1: No Seder?
Nurse #2: I’m not Jewish.
Nurse #1: No way? Really?
Nurse #2: Really.
Nurse #1: Yes, you are.
Nurse #2: I’m not.
Nurse #1: You totally are. I know you are.
–Mount Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: Janis
