Wednesday One-Liners (Bow Chicka Bow Bow)

Suit: Do you know what it’s like when you’re reading the news and you get 19 clips of Brazilian women fucking?

–Astor Place & Lafayette

Overheard by: that’s a problem?

Woman to dinner companion: I think I’d like to get into flagellation porn. I’m not really sure how to go about it though.

–Ludlow & Broome

Random girl, during lull in party conversation: But it’s straight porn!

–Bleecker & W 10th

Overheard by: Deontology

Guy: I wouldn’t fuck her if she was the last person on earth! There had better be porn on cable!

–5 Train

Professor: Does anyone know Henry Miller? [Girl raises her hand.] You and those of us… those of us who had to resort to the Sears Roebuck catalog for porn… Well, when we got older we had to turn to higher literature so we’d flip through Henry Miller for delightful dirty passages.

–Religion Class, Hunter College

Overheard by: liza

Posted on June 11, 2008
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Books & Writing, Classroom, Girls, Guys, Hunter, Internet, Lower East Side, On the Subway, Porn, Questions, S&M, Sexuality, Suits, Teachers/Professors, The Village, TV, Violence, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Ever Since She Got That Breast Reduction, She’s Dead to Me

Girl to friend, after other girl leaves room: She’s cool. I like Jovanna.
Professor: You like Jovanna?!…I don’t. Professor breaks into laughter.

–Bard High School Early College

Posted on June 2, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Friends, Girls, Lower East Side, Questions, Teachers/Professors, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners –Unclean! Unclean!

Eight-year-old boy to another: You usta play dirty house with her!

–E 9th St & Ave A

Overheard by: Fred Daubert

Visibly annoyed ghetto-fab young lady, while loudly cracking her gum: They too many nationalities on this bus and most of them don’t be clean.

–57th St Bus

Overheard by: tinyfoo

Chick, looking at rat sipping from puddle: Eeeww, how can he drink that? It’s so dirty!

–6 Platform, Grand Central

Guy on escalator, to friend: … Dirty sandwich…

–E Train

Overheard by: M_C

Male student: Either you’re a dirty, stinking hippie, or you’re pretentious.

–Bard High School Early College Library

Thuggish hobo: Please! Somebody talk dirty to me!

–Washington Square Park

Posted on May 28, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Boys, Cleanliness, Food, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Hobos, Insults, Kids, Lower East Side, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Sexuality, Students, Stupidity, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park

Wednesday Doing-Liners

Socialite-in-training: So all I had in this stupid bar in Las Vegas is a vodka tonic and a whiff of cocaine and before I know it I’m making out with a guy that I distinctly remember saying "I don’t like you" to. Yeah… That happened a lot this summer…

–116th & Broadway

Yuppie: I’m in fucking Penn station, I don’t know if it’s fucking snowing outside. I hope six falls up my nose tonight.

–Penn Station

Student on cell: I mean, I could say there are people going into finance doing lines of coke on a Monday night and here I am, doing work.

–114th b/w Broadway & Amsterdam

Kid, walking out of middle school: Man, I could really use some cocaine!

–East Village

Model to friend about styling team: Yo, before I knew they were from California, I thought they were on coke…

–Crwon Heights

Overheard by: Cuttie

Yuppie to friend: No, seriously. He’s not a jerk at all. He’s a cokehead. You’ll love him.

–Essex & Rivington

Posted on May 21, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Cocaine, Compare/Contrast, Drinks, Friends, Jobs & Careers, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Lower East Side, On Cell, Penn Station, Rich people, Sexuality, Students, U.S. Geography, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weather, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Yuppies

Motorboatable Wednesday One-Liners

20-something woman to friends: I mean they said they’d pay me $20 for it. I would show them one for $20, why not? One boob for $20? I mean, maybe they thought it was a big deal since we were at work.

–N Train Platform, 34th St Station

Overheard by: Regina

[Two young woman crossing the street. One turns to the the other and grabs her breast.]Grabber girl: Honk!
[Both giggle and cross street into Victoria’s Secret.]

–34th & Broadway

Overheard by: Chockita

Female boss to employee in low-cut shirt: Your boobs are awesome. But -I’m just gonna have to do this. [Pulls up employee’s neckline.] Because…I just wanna dive in there. Head-first.

–Theater, St Marks Place

Overheard by: fhqwhgads

Professor: So you see, men only like women’s boobs because of cleavage.

–Bard High School Early College

Tourist girls: [In unison from the door] Booooobies! [Run to the big naked lady sculpture and poses to take a picture].

–Columbus Circle

Teen girl to friend: Julia! Put your titties away!

–14th & 6th

Bored, drunken guy in a silent train cart: So does anyone wanna show their titties?

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Not drunk enough to flash

Posted on May 14, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bosses, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compliments, Coworkers, Drunks, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Lesbians, Lower East Side, Money & Class, Nipples, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Prostitution, Questions, School, Sexuality, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teachers/Professors, Teens, Theater, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

It Stems Back to a Traumatic Experience Involving One of His Bitches

Salesperson to small shaking dog: Are you cold or scared?
Man holding small shaking dog: He’s afraid of dildos.

–Babeland, LES

Posted on May 9, 2008
Default, Dildos and Vibrators, Fears, Lower East Side, Questions, We Love Our Pets

We Can Stand on the Platform All Night and Pretend We’re Waiting for the G

Nineteen-year-old guy: So do you want to try role playing tonight?
Nineteen-year-old girlfriend: What?!
Nineteen-year-old guy: You know, like let’s pretend we’re from Brooklyn.

–120th & Broadway

Overheard by: Heather V

Posted on April 26, 2008
Boyfriends, Couples, Default, Fakes, Girlfriends, Lower East Side, NYC Geography, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wishes & desires

…Cowboy

Pretentious hipster: So where are you ethnically from?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Well, I know that, but are you from Bangladesh, Pakistan, or India?
Indian girl: India.
Pretentious hipster: Ohhh, you’re Native American.
Indian girl: I’ll take that drink now.

–Welcome to the Johnsons Bar, Lower East Side

Overheard by: blondie

Posted on April 22, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Default, Desi, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Hipsters, Lower East Side, Offers and requests, Questions, Race, Stupidity

Does It Wednesday One-Liner When You Pee?

Man on phone, while withdrawing cash at the ATM: Congrats, dude. It could still be chlamydia though!

–LES

Overheard by: Romano

Kid: I don’t like this place, it has aids.

–F Train

Overheard by: Richard J. Anderson

Man on cell: You can’t just sleep in somebody’s bed and not tell them you have scabies. That’s… irresponsible.

–Home Depot

Professional woman: So I think you have an STD and blah blah blah.

–Times Square

Customer: Can we get an extra plate? He’s sick and I have herpes.

–Freemans, Freeman’s Alley

Twentysomething businesswoman: I was like, ‘oh my god, don’t hook up with my mom’… she has crabs!

–13th & 2nd

Overheard by: Natalia

Posted on April 9, 2008
Advice, AIDS, All Wednesday One-Liners, Customers, Default, Illness, Kids, Lower East Side, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, Questions, Sex, STDs, Store, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Women

Let’s Talk about Wednesday One-Liners, Baby

Girl to friend: That’s the difference between you and me: I have camp and you have sex.

–Bard High School Early College

Female commuter to male commuter after he accused her of pushing onto train: Just be grateful you had someone to rub against on a Friday night.

–6 train

Overheard by: Carol

Bearded dude: If you can’t tell me within five seconds the most number of fingers you’ve ever had in a woman at one time, I don’t want to talk to you about sex.

–Whiskey Park, Central Park South

Overheard by: Argopelter

Guy on cell, talking to someone’s voicemail: Hi, it’s Reacharound. I’m on my way to the library, but let me know if you want to get dinner later.

–Houston & Sullivan

Overheard by: lish

Chick: Actually, I can’t think of anything that’s not a metaphor for sexual awakening.

–Starbucks, 44th & 9th

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on April 2, 2008
Advice, Central Park, College, Compare/Contrast, Creepsters, Default, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hand-Jobs, Leisure, Lower East Side, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Parks, Sex, Starbucks, Street, The Village, Vagina, Women, Words