Girl #1: If I had eyebrows they would be raised right now.
Girl #2: Mine sure are.
–23rd & Lexington
Girl #1: If I had eyebrows they would be raised right now.
Girl #2: Mine sure are.
–23rd & Lexington
Guy drinking wine: Coming to work wasted is frowned upon, but also lovingly embraced.
–Tartine, West Village
Fake bag hawker to woman in suit with briefcase: Can I get a job, miss? Are you hiring, miss?
–Canal St
Suit: When I die, don't go to my funeral, just go to work.
–33rd St &3rd Ave
Crazy girl on cell: All I know is that I need a really fucking good job with no fucking drug test.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Sam Fez
Weird guy to girl: I mean, I come home from work not feeling sexy at all. (subway car screeches) It's not exactly the most testosterone-filled job there is. (car screeches loudly again, then guy starts using hand motions) I have no idea how to get in the mood again!
–6 Train
Overheard by: fresca
Boss to peon: And grab Mary. (pause) Gently.
–Broadway
Security guard to another: I know it's habitual to act retarded.
–Time Warner Security Check
Overheard by: spandangle
Security guard: The door's that way, people. I know that when you see a door you want to go through it–it's human nature.
–Crown Plaza Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: GJL
Female security guard: What does my sexual genitalia have to do with it?
–Brooklyn Library
Little boy: Mommy, mommy, look! They've got security guards! Must be a rich people place.
–86th & Brooklyn
Security guard, after metal detector beeps: Ma'am, would you please remove your wooden bracelet and walk back through the metal detector again?
–Liberty Island
Overheard by: heather linford
Crazy security guard: I have so much gas. I'm going to take all my gas and send it to Iraq and end the war. (gets distracted by a girl walking past with an ice cream cone) Hey, you're stomach's gonna freeze!
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Honest Truth
Glum construction worker, singing slowly: We will…we will…not get paid.
–Caton Place
Overheard by: Cottonfluff
Hardhat to another: You got a rash on yo ass, know what I'm sayin?
–12th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: j
Construction worker to friends, watching girl in a bubble dress walk down the street: Damn, yo, I hate those skirts, yo. That's the stupidest shit I ever seen.
–13th St & 5th Ave
Construction worker to group of girls walking past, carrying food bags: Want to grab lunch?
(girls ignore him) Dinner? Breakfast? (girls continue to ignore him, so he yells at them) Just a snack, then?
–Prince Street
Overheard by: Courtney Messer
Eastern European construction worker to pigeon: You! Yes, hey you! Eat this! Is good for you! Will put hair on your balls! Yes, eat, eat!
–23rd & 1st
Overheard by: Becka Dash
White lady handing out New York Post: Free Post! Free New York Post today! Free Post!
Black man: That will really show you who knows how to read!
–28th & Lexington
Overheard by: Emmy
20-something girl #1: He's just so, like, passionate, you know? Like, he asked me what colors I like, and I said “blue,” and he said I would look really good in blue.
20-something girl #2: Wow.
20-something girl #1: I know. He's just like, so…moral.
–32nd & Lexington
Intoxicated girl to another: So, I went into Sleepy's the other day… Apparently, you're not allowed to sleep in there.
–Belle Harbor, Queens
Overheard by: redxdress
Woman coming out of bathroom stall (yawning and stretching): Wow, I just had the most amazing nap!
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: I<3Auditors Girl to friends: I slept over at Natalie's, and I was really drunk and had taken sleeping pills…
–Staten Island Ferry
Salesgirl to no one in particular: I had the best dream about Aids last night…
–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Joe Roumeliotis
Man on phone: Man, sometimes when I be wakin' up, my body be like "Alright, let's do this!" Then a few minutes later it be like: "Naaaah, fuck it!"
–Union Square
Overheard by: Stepheb
Father to five-year-old son as man in gladiator costume walks by the day after Halloween: That man had a sleepover last night.
–23rd & 3rd
Overheard by: We were all thinking it
College girl looking for a costume: I want to be a bumblebee–but not a slutty bumblebee!
–Ricky's, Near Columbia
Overheard by: M
Suit on cell: Just put a paper bag over your head and you can be that guy! You're the paper bag guy!
–Sheepshead Bay Road (on Halloween)
Young child to mother, after walking by a large group of people in zombie make-up: Mommy, that homeless man said he wanted to eat brains!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Blair
Girl in Supergirl costume, yelling on cell: I'm so sick of walking. (pause) I said I'm fucking sick of walking! (pause) I'm just dressed like Supergirl, you asshole, I can't *actually* fly!
–E 20th, Stuyvesant Town
Loud young Latina on Halloween: I wanted to be a hooker today, but I couldn't afford the costume.
–Troutman & Knickerbocker, Bushwick
Girl to another (dressed as Wilma Flintstone the morning after Halloween): Man, the Halloween walk of shame is the worst!
–33rd & 3rd
Sleazy biker, taking a bottle from marathon relief table: My mother always told me I should be bottle-fed.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Uncomfortable volunteer
NYU student on cell, angrily: I was trying to show your mom a good time so I wouldn't have to stick my dick in her again!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: chris k.
Guido on cell: So you fucked the mother *and* the daughter?
–23rd & 3rd
Guy to girl: Anything over 50 is a super milf!
–Chelsea
Teen to friend: Cause I ain't no full-time mama. I'm a part-time mama.
–Church & Chambers
Middle aged hipster with ponytail and gray streaked goatee: I'm a soccer mom!
–Times Square
Girl: Imagine if you're fat? You would die.
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Nameless
Girl on cell: I just don't trust her, she's fat. Fat girls always cause problems.
–3rd Ave & 40th
Overheard by: Liz
Overweight teen girl to friend: It's like, I'm kind of hungry but like I don't feel like eating anything. (a minute later to cashier) I'll have three bacon cheeseburgers, large fries and a frosty.
–Wendy's, Union Square
Overheard by: I was starving and bought less
14-year-old girl to group of friends: I don't skinny dip, I chunky dunk.
–18th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Will
Senior ad exec to junior art designer: What the fuck doesn't this guy understand? The machine literally sucks fat out of your body! So we can't show a girl with a huge ass and huge thighs in the ad! Get it the fuck together!
–49th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: agree to agree
20-something girl: I think I look fat when I don't have armpit hair.
–Canal & Mott
