Preppy girl #1: I'm feeling sorta…
Preppy girl #2: Peckish?
Preppy girl #1: Like starvation-ish.
Preppy girl #2: Uh, I've got a mint.
–Liquor Store, Prospect Heights
Overheard by: lola w.
Preppy girl #1: I'm feeling sorta…
Preppy girl #2: Peckish?
Preppy girl #1: Like starvation-ish.
Preppy girl #2: Uh, I've got a mint.
–Liquor Store, Prospect Heights
Overheard by: lola w.
Guy in white shirt and tie: So what, so what if the aliens landed in Brooklyn? And they start shooting their guns, their laser guns on the corner, in the candy store? What then? Do we just let them in the shelter?
–John Jay College of Criminal Justice
Crazy guy: I am an alien from outer space! I have crash landed on your planet! This is our language! (saxophone solo)
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Conductor: We will be stopped at the next station for ten minutes. You are not allowed to exit the train, so that means no smoke breaks or bathroom trips. If you do get off of the train you will be abducted by aliens and never heard from again.
–Amtrak Train, Penn station
Overheard by: Madge
Hobo to teen girls: Can you spare some change for a space man? I wanna get drunk later.
–94th St & Broadway
Girl #1, at school cafeteria: What is that?
Girl #2: Polenta.
Girl #1: I've never had it. Can I have a bite of your placenta?
–Bedford-Stuy
Shop attendant: Do you need help?
Customer: Oh… In many, many ways…
–Candy Store, SoHo
Overheard by: rutger
Girl on cell: And you're leaving with a butthole the size of a pancake your mom cooked! (pause) You don't want that.
–33rd & 6th
Overheard by: Gaunt
Ghetto fabulous teen boy: So I said, "What? Did you say you wanna fuck my motha'? Well I'm gonna fuck yo brotha!"
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: Fiona
Woman outside store to a child speaking to her mother: What do you mean you don't like her? That's your mother, man!
–125th & Park Ave
Woman on phone: Hello? Yeah, how are you? (pause) So I didn't really deal with my mother's death because I wasn't sober then.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Laura
Man: Speaking of mother's graves, I want my urn back.
–13th & Ave A
Overheard by: erkala
20-something girl: I'm tired and want to sleep, but I don't know what to do with my contacts.
Older 20-something guy: You can put them in my soda.
–Shea Stadium
Creepy 20-something: Hey, ma, come here a sec.
Teenage girl tourist: Uh… what?
Creepy 20-something: Please. Please… just hold me. Just hold me for a second.
Teenage girl tourist: Oh. No. I'm just gonna… no.
–Canal Street
Girl #1 staring at Vagisil cream in a security lock box in CVS: Oh my god, that's messed up! Come see this!
Girl #2: What's that just mean?
Girl #1, in funny voice: Ummmm… excuse me, I need my vaginal cream, please I have an itch!
Girl #2, in funny voice: Ummmm… is it a just an itchy sensation or a burning itchy sensation?
Girl #1, in funny voice: Yes, yes, please… I need my cream.
Girl #2, in funny voice: Well, that's just swell! Let me unlock that for you, then.
–Madison Ave
11 year-old girl to dad: Sucking on something automatically makes you gay.
–High Line
Overheard by: Kirby
NYPD detective, working Gay Pride parade: They've been coming out for the last two hours. And they will probably be coming out for another three hours!
–5th Ave & 55th St
Overheard by: Just Visiting…
Not very effeminate gay guy, near extremely effeminate group of pride festers: Suddenly, I don't feel so gay!
–PrideFest, Abingdon Square
Overheard by: proud dad
Man to friend: The problem with getting too buff is that people start to think that you're gay.
–Starbucks
Male fashionista to stranger on bus: And she thought I was gay because I dress well and stuff. (to another passenger) Oh, is that moisturizer? Can I use some?
–Hampton Jitney
Overheard by: Can't imagine why she thought so
Woman handcuffed to man, having romantic picnic with rose petals spilled over a blanket: I didn't think I would be handcuffed to you in a park telling you all of my secrets when I met you in a gay bar!
–Central Park Sheep Meadow
Ghetto fabulous sister to another, walking out of bar: You gotta be a classy ho! Bitch!
–Fulton & Lafayette, Brooklyn
Woman on cell: No! He wants a fight and I'm going to fuck her up! I'm going to snap that bitch in half! (pause) I will snap that bitch in half! (pause) Okay, I love you too. (hangs up) Oh, she messed with the wrong bitch!
–27th St, between 6th and 7th
Overheard by: Hungry
Blonde yelling on cell: I was not being a bitch or picking a fight! I was saying "I love you, and these are my concerns"!
–27th St b/w Park Ave & Lexington
Overheard by: V
Girl to another: That's when I knew I was a bitch. My homegirl got kicked in the head by a ho… and I laughed!
–Coney Island Ave & Newkirk
30-something suit: I just need a bitch with an accent!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: CourtSnort
Mom to son, after looking through his phone: Who is in your phone as b-i-t-c-h?
–M60 Bus
Overheard by: Jingles
