Girl: I should just drink a lot, like, a lot a lot a lot, and see what happens.
–12th & 3rd
Girl: I should just drink a lot, like, a lot a lot a lot, and see what happens.
–12th & 3rd
MTV chick: The show is called Who Wants to be America’s Sweetheart. But it’s very hush-hush.
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Daniel Radosh
Crazy hobo with guitar to stranger: Damn… you invited a lot of people.
–1 Train
Hobo to young married couple: I have found the promised land. Seriously. I'd get a plane ticket right now, but it'd be cheaper to go to confession for a week and then get hit by a bus. Remind me to tell you about this later.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Oliver
Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-something girl walks past him, with businessman a few steps behind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…
–W 3rd & Thompson
Hobo, taking donations to help the homeless, counting coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fistful of coins sticks in pocket) Tax rebate!
–Union Square
Former Broadway ingenue: He injects silicone into his penis and testicles. He has for years.
–A-list Broadway party
Overheard by: kgrahams
Wannabe policy maker: They should have umbrella exchange centers. You know, like needle exchanges.
–Washington Square South
Overheard by: Lacey
Dad: You want to get arrested? Brian, put those syringes down. If you want to get high, go outside and find some mothafucka on the street.
–Emergency room, Beth Israel
Overheard by: Coughing in the Ghetto Israel
Ditz: I love hepatitis shots!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Salmon Slap
Hipster chick on cell: Yeah, you should probably get a rabies shot for that… And a pap smear.
–Washington Square Park
Girl: Hey, which one of you doesn’t like incest again?
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: gil ber
A blonde, cherubic-looking little girl of about two, clad in only a diaper, is smearing feces all over her chest. Two young women look on helplessly, clutching napkins.
Young woman: I wish we had a sprinkler.
–Lafayette & Prince
Overheard by: elise n
Student: I feel like I'm drunk. Like when I was six.
–Middle School Dance, Spanish Harlem
Six-year-old girl: I drank beer once and I went crazy!
–Central Park
Dad, about his young son who has just run face-first into a chair: Don't worry about him, he's just drunk.
–Indian Road Cafe, Inwood
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Five-year-old boy: Next stop, wine store!
–University & 9th St
20-something: I didn't even realize it was my birthday until I checked Facebook!
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: mtrainetiquette
Girl to friend: We should celebrate tonight–it's my half birthday in 10 days.
–Crocodile Lounge, E 14th St
Tourist: See nobody is wearing birthday scars…
–34th St & 5th Ave
Guy to girl: Wait, did you really believe I was going to get you a Hello Kitty vibrator for your birthday?
–45th & 8th
Drunk girl to hobo: It's my birthday! You should be giving *me* money!
–111 & Broadway
Suit: My dick was totally in one hand pissing while I was talking to the client.
–48th & Madison
Dog owner to another: Dogs are funny. They're like little retarded kids.
–Tompkins Square Park Dog Run
Guy on cell: She went from Debbie downer to Debbie Down Syndrome.
–62nd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Timo Lipping
Dad: I thought she would like Carolina, so we took her to see four schools there. I asked her if she liked them and she said, "I liked the schools… But everyone there seemed slightly retarded."
–W 54th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Johnny V.
Southern woman who just ran NYC marathon to Southern friend: Well, we can't have a baby now because it would be retarded… because I'm 35, you know?
–Becco Restaurant, Theater District
Overheard by: mersayseh
