Professor #1: And so I told her it would be called So You Think You Can Fuck…
Professor #2: Right! And there’d be twelve couples…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Gigi
Professor #1: And so I told her it would be called So You Think You Can Fuck…
Professor #2: Right! And there’d be twelve couples…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Gigi
Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?
–14th & University
Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.
–Walker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Wolf
Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.
–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: nosy cinephile
Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.
–13th & University
Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?
–Office, W 36th St
Overheard by: Evan
Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.
–Tea Lounge, Park Slope
Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!
–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport
White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?
–Walgreens, Union Square
Overheard by: Goldie
Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.
–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St
Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!
–Tompkins Square Park
Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.
–Century 21
Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!
–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th
Overheard by: Shaina
Girl #1: He’s a hip-hop artist; he has to have an Asian girfriend.
Girl #2: He already has one.
Guy: If he’s a real hip-hop artist, he has to have two.
–Spring & Sullivan
Overheard by: inge
Customer: Do you have the documentary on Marlene Dietrich made by
her nephew, David Riva?
Sales girl: Who’s that again?
Customer: Marlene Dietrich.
Sales girl: [blank look]Customer: Come on, Dietrich!! You know, Garbo, Monroe, Dietrich…
the big ones.
Sales girl: Hey, I’m sorry. I don’t know everybody.
–Virgin Megastore, Times Square
Overheard by: Gladys M
Headline by: Steve
Runners-Up:
· “A Virgin employee apologizing… she must be new, she hasn’t grown a superiority complex yet” – Matthew McGuirl
· “Have you ever read anything by Seuss?” – Steve Harhart
· “He never could deliver a pick-up line without getting angry” – AK
· “I Need a Gay Male Employee at the Front Desk Please, a Gay Male Employee” – Jennifer Koretsky
· “I think she was in something with Tom Cruise…?” – Michelle
· “Plus he lost her at “documentary”” – Amy Stephenson
· “Sales clerk caught unaware of hip new trend called “History”” – Andy
· “She wears a nametag to satisfy her own curiosity” – Amanda
· “They’re Dead to Me” – Toby
· “Wait. . . Your’e Telling Me Stuff Happened Before I Was Born?” – DanC
Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese!
–1 train
Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass!
–Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym!
–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn
Overheard by: elwood
Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island.
–Queens Center Mall
Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat.
–Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square
Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God!
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Melissa
New Yorker: Coney Island is fun if you like that stuff. I mean, there’s a lot of nationalities down there so their accents are all…They talk like the Sopranos. Do you know about the Sopranos?
Tourist: Um.
–R Train, 28th St
Overheard by: Nick McDowell
Med student #1: Some people say that The Passion of The Christ doesn’t follow the book.
Med student #2: What book?
–122nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Khalilah
Little girl: Mom, look! I saw that lady on TV! That lady is on TV!
Mom: What lady? Where?
Little girl: That fat lady! That fat lady over there is on TV!
–Dinosaur BBQ, W 131st St
Overheard by: Alison R.
Man: Wow, you’re here already? That was quick.
Woman: Yeah, if I was Adam Sandler I would have said, “That was click!”
–West 44th St
Overheard by: Tomer Langberg
Tux: You know my ex-boyfriend, right? Come on, you remember him. His sister was in jail with Amy Fisher?
–Therapy, 52nd & 9th
Tux: Stop singing Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. That’s all I’ll ever ask of you.
–Tonys after-party for Jersey Boys, Hard Rock Cafe
