Teen girl to friend: You should get a t-shirt that says “Will work for chocolate.”
Friend: You should get a t-shirt that says “Will have sex for free”!
–Montegue & Henry
Overheard by: Hal
Teen girl to friend: You should get a t-shirt that says “Will work for chocolate.”
Friend: You should get a t-shirt that says “Will have sex for free”!
–Montegue & Henry
Overheard by: Hal
Young earnest female: I don't care what that Palin bitch says… I mean, she is hot… like I would do her if her old man bailed on her.
Young bored female friend: You don't got no sense. She does frickin' moose, elk or animals and things.
Young earnest female: Men does sheep, why not women?
Young bored female friend: You ain't got the equipment, for one thing…
–Pelham Stop 3
Overheard by: Deder
Bouncer: What is *with* you tonight?
Girl promoting free comedy show: I had sex last night and I want everyone to be happy for me! His ball sack melted in my mouth! (to passerby) Free comedy show downstairs tonight! (a second later, screaming across the street) His ball sack melted in my mouth!
–Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Frat boy #1: Ya know that girl I said I thought was a total slut?
Frat boy #2: Yeah?
Frat boy #1: Turns out she was a virgin!
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Alex
Hot woman: Do you know what The Secret is?
Friend (skeptically): Yeah…
Hot woman: Well, I put it out there and it totally works. Check it out. I put in my datebook for Friday night, “go out to dinner and get laid,” and it worked…a day early! See the smile on my face?
–Elevator, W 28th St
NYU guy: I was totally into Obama until we met Sarah Palin and now she has made me all Republican for her milfiness.
Friend: You know you don't get to fuck her just because you vote for her?
NYU guy: But I can only hope for my brothers in DC. You know like some Bill Clinton intern shit up in the White House, but this time with a hot mother instead of cigars and shit.
–L Train
Overheard by: Nikki
Angry Spanish boyfriend: You know why I'm talking to you like this! Because your boss was sitting there and you probably had no damn clothes on!
–Broad Channel Subway Station
Girl to friend: Yeah, I can't wait until we take off our clothes and do our make up!
–116th & 3rd
(20-something couple is walking down the street with arms around each other)
Woman: So were you self-conscious when you took off your clothes in front of the children?
–28th & 5th
White guy answering cell: Negrooooo… I'm on the Long Island Railroad being completely homosexual… You missed it, completely naked…
–LIRR
Overheard by: Xavier
Five-year-old girl, before performance begins: Are they going to take *all* their clothes off?
—Hair, Delacorte Theater
Girl to friend: God! I remember when my brother ran into my room naked screaming that he had two buttholes.
–Subway, 14th & 1st
Overweight middle age white guy to friend: I know, I get it, you like to sit naked in the mud while some guy serenades you on his guitar singing about things I don't believe and can't understand. That's your thing. I prefer hockey.
–89th & 4th, Brooklyn
Music theory professor, explaining classical idioms: The reason we use these techniques is because the great composers did–Mozart, Beethoven, Bach. They knew what they were doing. Bach knew that Mozart intuitively understood the music. When he reviewed Mozart's work, he was like, "that motherfucker!" (slight pause) Yeah, more or less.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Music Theorist
Girl to friends: Imagine this: Spice Girls concert, platform shoes, glitter all over my body…
–McCarren Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: do I have to?
20-something Whitey McWhiteface to friends: So do you think Lil Wayne tried to become a hipster or, like, it just happened?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Hopper
Guy to friend, while watching Radiohead: This is a great song to urinate to.
–Liberty State Park
Doctoral student on phone: I can't do my dissertation on the sex lives of great composers…I can't… No, it's just that the subject is too big… Ok, so 1950 to present.
–Manhattan School of Music
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. And now for your entertainment… (taps on the microphone a pretty decent beat) I hope you all like my beats…I've been practicing!
–F Train
Overheard by: Groovin to the music
20-something on cell: So yeah, I hit a new low. So you know how I had sex with Dan, Steve and Dave? Well, I totally just handled my friend from work who is married and we did it in his daughter's bed. If that doesnt say I'm crazy, I dont know what does? (pause) Are you kidding me? His wife never gives it up, that man busted four times in a matter of minutes.
(pause). Well, that's now four men this week who said I have the best pussy they've had.
–159th & Broadway
Overheard by: morgan
Girl: She was fucking everybody in this city–and no one even liked her!
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: bRonwyn
20-something man to girlfriend: You're a grown woman! I can't help it if you're a whore!
–7 Train
Overheard by: becky z-dub
Girl on cell: Wait, so you and Skylar are dating now? Ahh, so exciting! (pause) No, you didn't already tell me. You said that you woke up next to him. Since when does that mean you're dating someone?
–Bedford & 8th
20-something blonde on phone: All those people who laugh and snigger at you only do it because they too have experienced the walk of shame.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Man on phone: I can't be constantly wondering who you're sleeping with! I tell you, I'm tired, I'm old, and I can't do what I'm supposed to do. I'm a good 60, but I ain't good enough to be waking up everyday and chasing you around!
–Coffee shop, Crown Heights
Overheard by: Eric
Hipster on cell: I don't see what's so wrong with going up to someone on the street and saying, "hey, what's up? Let's fuck!" I do it all the time!
–Great Hall, Cooper Union
Overheard by: NYUTSOA12
Girl: You always thought my mom was hot while we were going out. You'd be all “Oh my god, your mom is totally hot. I'd hit that.”
Guy: Well, she is!
Girl: I know that! But you can't want to fuck my mom and get all pissed when I want to fuck your sister!
–78th & Amsterdam
