Male student orientation leader: Hi, did you masturbate today?
Female student orientation leader: Yes, I did!
–Orientation, Baruch College
Male student orientation leader: Hi, did you masturbate today?
Female student orientation leader: Yes, I did!
–Orientation, Baruch College
College student to slow-ass friends, during morning rush hour commute: Hurry up! I’m holding open the doors for you!
Conductor: I’m very upset about this.
–6 Train
Overheard by: wb
Girl with clipboard: Excuse me, do you have a moment for gay rights?
College guy, not stopping: I love lesbian porn!
–116 & Broadway
Professor: Wow, you looked so tough! Like Michael Jackson in “Beat it”!
Male student: … That wasn’t tough.
Professor: Exactly!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Loli/Angie
English teacher: So, have you ever gone with your class to The Met?
Bimbette art student: I don’t do things.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt (ashamed to be an art student)
Professor: So REM stands for “Rapid Eye Movement”.
Befuddled girl: Then why isn’t it called “RIM”?
–Psychology Lecture, City College
Student #1: Can you drink rubbing alcohol?
Teacher: No. If you do, you will die.
Student #2: Unless you’re Irish.
–Classroom, Edward R. Murrow Highschool, Brooklyn
Overheard by: anonymous
Male student: I think it was just like… quiet racism.
Exuberant black teacher, whispering: Nigga!
–ICE High School, 16th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lady-Bastard
Professor: So your answer is “Yes”?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Ok. Well, let me tell you that the shorter and more accurate answer is “No”.
–Vanderbilt Hall, NYU
Overheard by: don cheetah
5th grader on school trip on train: I wanna sit down!
Teacher, in southern accent: Well I want a small ass but thats not happening either now is it?!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Brandon E.
