Young woman on cell: He said he just wasn’t attracted to me. What do you think he meant by that?
–60th & Madison
Overheard by: The New York Crank
Young woman on cell: He said he just wasn’t attracted to me. What do you think he meant by that?
–60th & Madison
Overheard by: The New York Crank
Guy on cell: Guitars… guitarists, guitarists… drummers, yeah, any musicians… Girls, yeah! Girls!
–Prospect Heights
Suave European guy: I am playing the piano and the flute. At the same time. It’s a metaphor.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Librarianish-looking woman: He asked me if I wanted to blow his tuba, and I said, "sure!". It was amazingly harder than I thought it would be. And, he’s bringing his organ tomorrow so I can play with it.
–Battery Park Starbucks
30-something woman: My consultant was telling me I should try not to sound elitist. But that’s really hard for me. I mean, I have two master’s degrees and I play the violin.
–14th St & 1st Ave
Bodybuilder on cell: I’m thinking a harpsichord, a wig, and a whole lotta talcum powder.
–Chinatown Bus
Blonde high school girl: Grinding is as practical as playing the harpsichord was for Jane Austen.
–Upper East Side
Mom, reading about unicorns to ten-year-old son: The unicorn was a symbol of Christ, its head in the virgin Mary’s lap…
Son: Wait, wait, wait! Mary was a virgin?!
–Museum of Natural History, Mythic Creatures Exhibit
British tourist to passing New Yorker: Excuse me, could you please tell me where…
New Yorker, walking briskly: Fuck off! I got problems of my own!
–E 77th & 2nd
Overheard by: D M A
Doctor: You know, people pay more for a Starbucks coffee than they do to visit me for a copay. That's what important in this world.
Colleague: Maybe you should put an espresso machine in your office.
–Starbucks, 96th St & Madison Ave
Older woman: I think I should wash my secondary pair of underwear when we get home.
Older guy: I think that’s a good idea!
–69th between 3rd & 2nd
Girl to class: I love classical music! I listen to the Bambi soundtrack all the time!
–Curtis High School, Staten Island
Guy in lobby, at intermission: Hands down, the best band I've ever seen in concert… Hootie and the Blowfish.
–Jazz at Lincoln Center
Guy on cell: I guess they're musicians. They put bitches ahead of practice.
–79th St b/w York & 1st
Overheard by: Queixa
Gay man to another, walking out of a bank: I mean, if you listen to like, one Sade song every six years, it's okay.
–15th St & 8th Ave
Lesbian: Fuck her! All she wants to do is stay home and sit in the kitchen and drink beer and listen to Melissa Etheridge! Fuck her! She can take a cab home!
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Kateri
Straight girl with a seat at the piano: No, I've never been here before, but I'm actually having a good time. I mean, I don't know most of these songs, but earlier he was playing The Sound of Music, and I was rocking out to that.
–Marie's Crisis Piano Bar
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Crazy old cat lady to guy who just shut off obnoxiously loud music in next lane: Why'd you shut it off? I liked that song!
–Marathon Parkway & Northern Boulevard
Grandma to kid: It’s really hard to kill people, you know.
–West Village
(20-something sits down and stretches his arms out in a yawn)
Man sitting one seat away: If you touch my leg I’ll kill you.
–1 Train
Middle-aged beefcake on phone: Oh yeah? Well he’s not trying anymore because he’s dead.
–42nd & Lex
Overheard by: bildita
Suit on cell: He was a great guy, until he decided to kill someone.
–Smith & Wollensky
Loud woman on payphone (very angrily): Well what the fuck am I supposed to do with her? Mausoleum? What? What the fuck?
–96th & Madison
Overheard by: grateful undead
Seven-year-old black boy: I’m goin’ to Iraq, to kill Obama!
–125th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: The Drummey
Cute chick on cell: If the Amish can do it, so can you. [Pause, then louder.] If the Amish can do it, so can you!
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Lady on cell: You tell my momma to get her ass to church and stop sinning!
–Grand Concourse, 205th St.
Overheard by: LSB
Black guy to another: Go to the Catholic church, cracka. They got good drugs.
–11th & A
Middle Eastern man: I believe in Islam and Allah, but I drink, I smoke, and I fuck. When I stop doing those things, then I’ll pray.
–C Train
Overheard by: Mark
Thug: I totally invented the Chuck Norris religion.
–Queens Mall
Overheard by: LSB
Mailman: Hey man, my shift just ended so I can start walking faster now.
–70th between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Anna A
