Wednesday One-Liners Don't Count Anal

Girl on cell: I don't know what it is with me and virgins. I think I've collected like four virgin scalps.

–Q58 Bus

Overheard by: Tom

Cashier, screaming to friend cashier: But why do you have to tell everyone that he's the guy who popped my cherry?

–72nd & 1st

Overheard by: tomas

Ghetto girl: If you got finger-popped, you ain't no virgin.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: Jake M

Teen boy on cell: Of course I don't have any kids! Girl, you know I'm pure–like water in Africa.

–Manhattan Ave & 123rd St.

Overheard by: CreativeBunny

Hispanic girl, loudly to a group of friends : I mean, I'm still a virgin and I have three STDs!

–Ave C

Posted on February 15, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Boys, Cashiers, Compare/Contrast, Foreplay, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, Latinos, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Sex, STDs, Street, Teens, Upper East Side, Vagina, Virginity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Do Those One-Liners Go All the Way Up to Your Wednesday?

Lady to another: I'm waxing my crotch whether he likes it or not!

–52nd & Madison

Overheard by: someguyslikethejungle

Preteen: Yo, she bit Mark's crotch!

–66th & Broadway

Overheard by: dan

Girl to another: I don't think he'd like your stiletto heel in his actual crotch. Oh, now your twat is all over the place.

–Olivebridge

Man on cell, noticing, "The Big Penis Book": Hey, I'm at this bookstore and they have this big book of penises… Oh, you have it already? The big book, with the pink cover and crotch on the front? Oh, okay, cool.

–Bookstore, Brookyln

Bimbo: Crotches are always wrong!

–American Apparel Store

Posted on February 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Books & Writing, Brooklyn, Girls, Kick, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Penis, Private Parts, Shoes, Store, Tweens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Violence, Waxing, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

It's the Great Wednesday One-Liner, Charlie Brown

Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.

–A Train

Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?

–Halloween Adventure

Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!

–35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria

Overheard by: kathcom

Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!

–Downtown 6 Train

Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.

–Downtown 6 train

Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: J. Ra

Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.

–Soho

Overheard by: Edan

Posted on February 10, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Astoria, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Fruit, Girls, Guys, Insults, Kids, Men, Moms, Money & Class, Music, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Questions, Robbing the Cradle, Sexuality, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, TV, Vagina, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

I Have Unsuspected Depths

Student: Is that a vagina?
Teacher: Yes, it is. You were the first one to notice the vagina on my wall.

–New Dorp High School, Staten Island

Posted on February 9, 2015
Fast Times at New York High, Staten Island, Teachers/Professors, Vagina

The Name “Pinkberry” Encourages Such Speculation

Girl #1: I always wondered what it would feel like to be a penis inside a vagina.
Girl #2: Me too!

–Columbia University

Posted on February 5, 2015
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Girls, Penis, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Vagina

New Abstinence Campaign Ad

Woman #1: My tummy is too full.
Woman #2: My vagina hurts when I walk.

–Outside Tao, 58th & Madison

Overheard by: Huh?

Posted on February 4, 2015
Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Weirdness, Women

So Much Poor Hygiene in Such a Small Space

Freshman girl to friend: It smells like ass in here.
Junior girl with purple hair: I think it smells like stinky vagina!

–Queens College Campus

Overheard by: Lindsay

Posted on February 3, 2015
Ass, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Queens, Queens College, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Students, Vagina

Wednesday One-Liners Are What She Said

Conductor: Please stop holding my doors open in the back! (pause, no change) Stop pushing open my doors in the back! (pause, no change) Hey, I don't want no more people squeezing through my openings in the back, okay?

–Q Train

Overexcited tourist dad to little girls: Alright, Jade*, blow the bubbles towards Leah*. Yes, towards her, like facing each other, so I can take a picture… When I tell you, okay? Perfect. Okay, now blow each other.

–Liberty Park

Suit: Well, it's not very large by adult standards, but it's big for what it is.

–Queens

Male office worker: My drawers are getting tight already.

–Broadway

Old woman: Would you like to give a donation to help feed our pussies?

–PETCO, Union Square

Overheard by: Lex

Posted on January 30, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Clerks, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Dads, Height, Kids, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Penis, Pictures, Public Transportation, Queens, Sex, Store, Street, Stupidity, Suits, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Vagina