Little girl: Mom?
Helicopter mother: Yes, honey? Are you all right? Are the trains too noisy for you?
Little girl: Mom, guess what?
Helicopter mother: What is it, sweetie pie?
Little girl: Mom, I have a vagina!
Helicopter mother: (opens mouth in shock)
–South Ferry Train Station
Overheard by: ABrooklynBaby'sNanny
20-something girl #1: Yeah, a guy's not so much a lady-killer when he drops the phrase “your boobs are so awesome!” without a hint of irony.
20-something girl #2: That's nothing. I once had a guy tell me my vagina was like a tank.
20-something girl #1, laughing: Are you serious?
–NJ Transit
Duane Reade employee, pointing to back of store: You can't go in there, the floor's just been waxed.
Swaying drunk girl: So has my vagina, that doesn't mean people aren't allowed in there!
–Duane Reade
(man standing on bus gets a little too close to the man sitting in front of him)
Sitting man: Wrong person, right day. Son, do not put your genitals in my face!
–M101 Bus
(skateboarder tries to do a trick on the curb and flies face-first onto pavement)
Skateboarding friend, checking on him: Dude! His face looks like a clitoris!
–Union Square
Overheard by: I Looked Away
Crazy man to another: What the fuck's the matter with your face, man? You look like a fuckin' Rottweiler! Shit!
–Q Train
Creepy doorman to male tourist: If you wake up in the morning with a bush in front of your face, don't ask any questions.
–30 Rock
Overheard by: MusicMagGirl
Guy selling city maps, singing to beat of nearby music: Who needs a map? Who needs a map? It's not a trap!
–Central Park
Ghetto guy selling knockoff perfumes on street: Don't ask me where I got em' from, just get em' before the police come. I got DKNY, my mami J.Lo… Get em' folks! Get em'
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Alli
Street vendor to customer examining knockoff purses: Hurry it up. I need money.
–Madison & 59th St
Overheard by: Jennifer
Wannabe hip hop artist: Y'all like hip hop? Please look at my CDs. Miss, you have a beautiful forehead. Please buy my CD.
–Times Square
Guy handing out fliers: Hey! You guys like vagina?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Brett
Father to son: No five-year-old should be asking for Chilean sea bass for dinner.
–Joralemon & Court
Dapper man on cell: You used to be able to pass for twenty… uh… eight.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Chuckell
Middle aged woman clutching Twilight book, trying to exit bus while reading: God! These novels for 13-year-olds make me hot!
–B7 Bus
Overheard by: i know, i love it too…
Prissy woman on cell: I don't care if he's six years old, he doesn't have to throw a fucking temper tantrum every time he wakes up. I mean, get over yourself.
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Eric
Guy to friend: I'm thirty years old now. I'm over thirty. I don't know how to live. I'm an "adult" now. But I don't know how to live–without someone taking care of me.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jason B
Older woman to almost-dead father: Dad, the doctor told me I have a 45-year-old vagina!
–Manhattan Office
Girl #1: She smelled like vagina.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: No, she smelled like bloody vagina.
–Union Square
Woman to friend: I just don't understand these women. I mean, get your head out of your bush and look around!
–66th & Broadway
Overheard by: rawr
Girl: Oh, I was wondering why my vagina was vibrating!
–Salvation Army, 11th & 4th
Man on sidewalk, waving arms: I can't, can't, can't, can't, can't get enough pussy!
–125th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: wonders why
Woman on cell: I get my pussy eaten out so much I don't even want it anymore.
–Staten Island Ferry
Girl on cell: Oh, come on, I can see her vagina from here!
–Court St & Dean St, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Astigmatic
Perky volunteer selling candy: Hi! Would you like to buy a chocolate vagina?
Black woman: No, thank you, I already have my own chocolate vagina!
–V-Day Event, W 36th St
Overheard by: Rita
Girl #1: All I know is, you need to take care of your pussy first, then worry about your damn hair.
Girl #2: I already told you I'm goin' to the damn doctor to get that shit looked at, now lemme go get my extensions in peace.
Girl #1: You can get all the extensions, weaves and whatnot you want, but if your pussy stays rotten, ain't nobody gonna get anywhere near that shit.
Girl #2: Bitch, will you shut up about my damn pussy. Everybody gotta hear about my pussy? Shit, now we got half the damn city hearing about my pussy!
Girl #1: They probably smell it too.
Girl #2: Fuck you, bitch!
Girl #1: Say fuck you all you want, a weave and fixing your pussy.
–40th & 8th
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
