Old man: Because you know I love only you.
Young woman: I love you, too.
Random guy walking by: No he doesn't, he just wants your pussy.
–E Train
Overheard by: Ting
Old man: Because you know I love only you.
Young woman: I love you, too.
Random guy walking by: No he doesn't, he just wants your pussy.
–E Train
Overheard by: Ting
Woman to male teacher: I thought you were a middle aged Latino woman.
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Alex and Colin
Chubby Latino: I don't want to go there. It'll just be a bunch of angry Dominicans throwing tables.
–Cooper Park, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Drunken lady, sitting uninvited at a Hispanic family table: Cinco cuatro cinco… en Chicago. I have a business at 545 Chicago. In Chicago. I am a successful woman. Stay in school, sweetie. Learn your math and arithmetic… Yes, your math, and your arithmetic. And be good to your mommy. You only have one mommy, so be good to her. Alright, ciao, guys. Adios, coco! What? A cab? No, no, I'm fine.
–Pio Pio Restaurant, 91st & 1st
Overheard by: HJWC
Hasidic Jew answering cell: Hola? Hola? Hola!
–30 Rock
Overheard by: Micky
Bespectacled man on cell, walking a dog: And I owe it all to the politically incorrect Frito Bandito.
–Bryant Park
Female baggage handler to male colleague: I don't drink tequila no more. That's how I got my first kid.
–LaGuardia Airport
Very impressed girl on cell: Whoa! You actually remembered her name this time? Were you not drunk?
–12th St & University Place
Overheard by: Mr. Hedge
Seemingly sober grad student: Let's face it. We'll be drunk in (checks watch) fifteen minutes.
–Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
NYC police officer: How hard can it be to find a drunk person on this floor?
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Vanessa
Girl with drink, to friends: This will have to be my last one, guys, I have to go babysit.
–Greenwich Ave & Charles Street
Overheard by: Jodi
Loud office chick: Oh my god, I found, like, four condoms on the bookshelf!
–Hudson St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Serious teen on cell: If you use a condom… It doesn't count.
–Murray Hill
40-something woman to two 20-year-old men: Don't believe any girl when she tells you she's on birth control. Take your condom and keep it in your wallet.
–19th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: McCrum
Guy on cell: You're just mad because your dick is tiny and the condom slipped off.
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Powerwalking Indian woman: I mean, isn't that why I went on the pill? So guys can come in me?
–40th & Queens Blvd, Queens
Overheard by: Ohmarkus
Man: Why do you always have to bring that up?
Woman: Oh, come on, your penis is huge! It's one of the biggest I've ever seen! (gestures with hands)
Man (looking around nervously): Are you crazy? We're in a public place!
Woman: What? No one is listening.
–Lumi Restaurant
Blue-collar guy holding elevator door: Have a good night.
Older professional lady getting off elevator: Peace out.
–Office Building, Park Avenue
Ingenue: She looks good for her age.
Jaded older woman: Botox and lifts.
Ingenue: At least her hair is natural.
Jaded older woman: You kidding? She dyes every week.
Ingenue: Her teeth.
Jaded older woman: Please.
Ingenue: Why do I feel guilty just talking to you?
–Front & Wall Streets
Overheard by: Feeling Guilty for Just Listening
20-something girl: I don't let people with toes like that into my bed!
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: insizlane
Old man on cell: Just tell her to go to Duane Reade and get that shit that puts your urethra to sleep.
–East Village
Overheard by: doctors are so jaded
Woman: My son has a perfect head, it's not flat on no sides.
–44 Bus, Staten Island
(man comes over and pushes down everyone's safety bar)
Woman: My uterus just came out of my vagina.
–Coney Island Cyclone
Guy on cell: …and it's just not Sunday unless you've had your finger in someone.
–Houston & Macdougal
Overheard by: Lish
Crazy hobo: Taco Bell is outta meat. Taco Bell… Is outta meat. I ask for a taco, they say, "We outta meat." What the fuck!? How you run outta meat at Taco Bell? You don't see me runnin' outta weed! Shit. Taco Bell is outta meat.
–Wendy's, 14th Street
Overheard by: Zack
Curious teenage girl: What is that on the floor? Ew! I hate when people leave bags of meat on the subway!
–R Train
Jewish lawyer, answering his desk phone: Weinstein's house of kosher pork. How may I direct your call?
–Newsroom, Midtown
Preppy teen: I am like, a total whore for salami.
–280th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: casayoto
Woman on cell talking about her upcoming weekend: Mah husband's gone, my kids is gone, I'm jus' goin' lie on the floor and eat some baloney. Mmm hmm. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Das' right. I'm gonna eat some baloney, and some cheese?-I'm goin' make myself a baloney sandwich.
–4th St Station
Overheard by: Jess
