Man: I don’t have a thousand dollars to give you.
Woman: You do too, sir.
Man: I don’t. I can give you some money today, but I don’t have a thousand.
Woman: You do too, sir.
Man: I can write you a check later this week, but I don’t have a thousand right now.
Woman: You do too, sir.
–Courtroom D, 100 Center St
Overheard by: Inkling
Woman: Dogs are supposed to sniff their trails. I mean, that’s what dogs do, right?
Man: Yes, but that was one stupid, stupid, unintelligent dog…
–Lexington & 59th
Portly young woman browsing dress for herself, nonchalantly: Oh, this is cute, but too bad it doesn't come in fat-ass-bitch size.
–Target, Brooklyn
20-something girl to boyfriend: Oh my god, you are so cute I just wanna punch you in the face!
–135th & 5th
Overheard by: Howzith
Middle-aged woman on cell exiting bus: You have a blessed day! (to phone) No, not you! I was talking to the bus driver–he was really cute!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: B44 rider
Student fundraiser to passerby: Taiwan needs help! Hey, you're cute enough to help Taiwan!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: L-Dubbs
Cute blonde to friend at gym: Oh my god! Look! That looks like a cuter version of this bald guy I slept with in a closet over the summer!
–14th & 3rd
Overheard by: Rob Lovett
Man leaving Dunkin Donuts: She tried to sell me donuts!
Wife: Are you sure?
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: soph
Female coworker: So, does your son have dark hair like you?
Male coworker: No, he has sort of sandy hair — like a cross between me and his mom, Lisa.
Female coworker: Oh.
Male coworker: But, you know, he has big nipples like Lisa.
–NJ Transit train
Girl talking to another girl: I like rectal physiology.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: no need to take her to a movie
Fireman, mocking drunk voice and crazy walking: Where are my kneecaps? Has anyone seen my kneecaps? Where the hell did my kneecaps go?
–Times Square
Overheard by: jacki
Man on street talking seriously to friend: And then the lady’s head fell into the toilet bowl.
–White St & W. Broadway
Overheard by: I would have loved to hear the ending of this story..
Guy: It would be better if we could see our own bodies cut up, all laid out on front of us like this!
–Entering the Bodies Exhibition, South Street Seaport
Girl in train: It’s so cold that my ears are freezing their asses off!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Not High, Kumar
Woman at next table: Well, I only get cold sores on my nose.
–The Mermaid Inn, 2nd Ave & 5th
Girl to boyfriend, on the 4th of July: I love it here, *this* is America!
Woman passing by: No, honey, this is New York.
–Outside Grand Central
Overheard by: Lee
Earnest sidewalk pollster: Sir? Have you got a minute to talk about the sanitation department? Do you think it's normal?
–51st St & Lexington
Overheard by: jake-e
Conductor, bending down before fainted man: C'mon! Dude! What did I tell you before? Get up and sit down and pass out in the seat like regular normal people. People think you're dead. Get up.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: I guess not a normal person
Girl, during History of Islam class: Miracles show us what's normal and what's, like, super above normal.
–Hunter College
Woman, bending down to adjust child: You have to walk normally now–like a normal person.
–Museum of Natural History
Nerd guy to friend: It wouldn't be child labor. You just hook them up to electrodes, connect them to the the power grid, and have them play on the playground like normal!
–Shuttle to Times Square
Wasp woman, looking at Asian Peoples exhibit: Oh, honey, look, that woman looks just like that woman at that Chinese food place we like!
–Museum of Natrual History
Overheard by: Heather
Older man to Chinese friend: You know, Caucasians really can't tell the difference between the Asians and the Chinese.
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: James
Burly bouncer to burnt-out groupie: Don't think of it as a finger, think of it as an Asian penis.
–11th & 3rd
Tourist on cell: I think I'm heading towards Little Italy, but all I see are Chinese people. I feel like fuckin' Marco Polo. Fuck man, where are you? (trips on curb and falls into pile of trash bags)
–Canal St
Giggling 20-something: So we hired a new intern, and she's Asian!
–Murray Hill
Overheard by: sab
Middle-aged man: The hell makes you think I'm following you?
MILF with baby: Oh, I dunno. Maybe because every time I turn around, you're standing there with that stupid, constipated look on your face!
–JFK
Overheard by: Sketch
