Black woman: In Japan or Asia, one of those countries, I hear they eat penis. Like in the restaurants, I mean.
–Shakespeare & Co., Flatbush
Overheard by: Ford Madox Hueffer
Black woman: In Japan or Asia, one of those countries, I hear they eat penis. Like in the restaurants, I mean.
–Shakespeare & Co., Flatbush
Overheard by: Ford Madox Hueffer
Tourist mom with mullet, trying to take a picture of cute five-year old boy: Stand by the testicles, honey. Stand by the balls!
–Wall Street Bull
Overheard by: oh tourists
Suit to street vendor: You spend the money and get blue balls…
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Colin
Guy on cell: Fucking shit! What the fuck? This fucking shit is fucking messed up! (pause) Whatever, mommy… just get me a large, it'll give me more room for my balls.
–97th St & Madison Ave
Big guy in chair on sidewalk to friend: So, I ate a pair of balls last night. Lamb balls. Hot and spicy.
–Heath St & 231st St
Overheard by: Km
Ghetto man to Dunkin' Donuts cashier: Yo, how much is da balls?
–W 148th & Broadway
Big guy on phone: … All I’m sayin’ is that’s wrong, man — you hit an ol’ woman, and you’re a boxer!
–151st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Thin walls
Guy on cell: So, wait — you punched her or slapped her? In the face?! Oh. Ow… Yeah, that’s still not appropriate.
–N 6th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: j
Angry guy on cell: This guy laid a fucking warrant on me for beating up crackheads!
–168th & Fort Washington Ave
Overheard by: RR
Five-year-old girl to seven-year-old brother: I’ll punch your Adam’s apple straight down your throat!
–Graham Ave bus station
Black girl on rising escalator, to friend: If he says anything to me, I’m gonna kick him in the ding-ding and then run!
–Broadway East station
Overheard by: Subwaysurfer
Conductor #1: This is 34th Street. Transfer is available to the B, Q, D…B…Q…Penn Station…D–
Conductor #2: Move over. D, Q, N, R. Stand clear.
–F train
Overheard by: Cole Couture
Hipster: Did the train just pass 28th street?
Woman: Yes, it went express, but you could get off at 14th and switch to the uptown train.
Homeboy: Or you could take your chances, break the window with a crowbar and jump out now.
–1 train
Overheard by: Hayley
Man: This won’t do. All bad smelling people get the hell off the train.
At the next stop most of the car clears out.
Man: That’s what I’m talking about.
–A train
A Black kid and his Hispanic girlfriend are arguing on the train. The kid is holding her in the seat and she is trying to rip off his shirt. The entire car is watching, as if it were a car wreck.
Hispanic girl: You’re always showing off!
Black kid: What?
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black kid: Stop it!
Hispanic girl: Get off me!
Black passenger guy: Man, why’s it always gotta be our people pulling this shit? You never see White people pulling this shit. You never see Chinese people pulling this shit. Man!
–C train
Two women were sitting next to each other, one clearly from New York, the other not. The tourist woman gestured with her chin at the conductor’s booth and asked: Is that the bathroom?
–A train
Black guy: Yeah man! You could jump in the tracks right now!
White guy: Are you sure the subway Superman will appear?
Black guy: Trust me, I’m sure.
–W 4th St station
Overheard by: ron cabrera
Headline by: Earl
Runners-Up:
· “…like WMD sure… or Jesus sure?” – k swin
· “Able to convince morons in a single sentence” – Erin
· “Another Supporter of Urban Darwinism” – ToddS
· “He’ll show up in 15 minutes with a spatula and a bucket of bleach” – Rob
· “It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! Ah Fuck, It’s a Train.” – Justin
· “Kunta Kinte’s Revenge” – micah576
· “Malcom X’s Plan B” – Chris
· “That cold-death feeling just means he’s got you” – Leigh
· “Thinning the herd, Manhattan-style” – Tom Beckett
Older black man to nobody in particular: Ain't nothin' done changed in two-hundred years! White folks is still goin' round makin' a mess and then makin' a black man come in and clean up after them…
–Post Office, Gun Hill & Jerome, The Bronx
Asian girl: Do white people eat sandwiches for dinner?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Spec
Black teen girl: If a sister is feeding a white bitch, you know she is fucked up.
–T.G.I. Friday's
Overheard by: Chris K
Black chick: But can a Frenchman be a honky?
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Hunter
Linguistically savvy hobo: The term "cracker" originated from a man named Robert Whitely. It was used to refer to people as "white trash".
–37th & 3rd
Latina woman to elderly mother: We gonna find you a seat soon, mami. If I gotta beat up white bitches… Let's go.
–3rd & 1st
Overheard by: j
Black guy #1: Lady, don’t sit next to that man, he’s got aids, motherfucker.
Black guy #2: Who you talkin’ bout aids? I went to prison for ten years and I don’t have no aids. Peace, brother.
Black guy #1: I tell you he got aids, motherfucker!
Black guy #2: Peace, brother, peace.
Black guy #1: Aids, motherfucker!
–PATH Train
Teenage bride-to-be on cell: …yeah. But, no, I’m totally ready to walk across the aisle.
–Target, South Bronx
Overheard by: so this is the bronx
Suit: You expect me to spend the rest of my life with only one woman? One woman? One godforsaken woman?
–42nd St & Madison
Hula hoop guy to tourist couple: Sir! I’ll show you! You don’t have to do it, but hula hoops have saved a lot of marriages!
–Washington Square Park
Old woman to imaginary friend: I’d make a great wife, mothafucka!
–F train
Overheard by: Trying Not to Laugh
Girl: Can I do your brother at one of your weddings?
–Monitor St, Brooklyn
Young woman on cell: Well yeah, but he didn’t sleep with your bridesmaids.
–82nd & Lex
Man on cell: Ok, fine! You want to get married?
–Upper West Side
Black guy #1: So what do you think of my hood, yo?
Black guy #2: You livin' white, baby!
–SoHo
Overheard by: basquiat
Male African-American bicycle-taxi driver: You see all these white people here? All these white people is from Europe! You know that story?
Female African-American park guard: No…
Male African-American bicycle-taxi driver: Yeah!
–Central Park
Overheard by: white New Yorker
