Asian cabbie: I am happy cabbie!
Man: I'm sure you are! (goes to hail another cab)
Asian cabbie: You google me! You google, happy cabbie, happy cabbie!
–Ave of the Americas
Hyper tourist to friend: Wow! A shoe repair shop? Can we go? Please? Come on, don't you have some shoes you want shined?
–74th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Raven
Enlightened tourist: Oh! So Broadway's not just one place? It's a series of buildings? Oh, I see!
–46th & Broadway
Tourist woman walking off Brooklyn Bridge: Wow, look at how nice this is! I can't believe we paid only $24 for it!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: D-Law
Tourist to another: There are so many yellow cars in New York City.
–42nd & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Lisa
Tourist: Not until high school did I know buses could make turns!
–E Train
Overheard by: Probably had to repeat a few grades
Tourist exiting subway: Did anyone lose a pass? Because I just found one.
–103rd & Broadway
Truck driver to cab driver: What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the fuck outta the way!
Guy pushing baby stroller: Fucking cunt!
–Crosby & Houston
McDonald's cashier: You gonna eat all that yourself? Haven't you seen that movie Supersize Me?
–McDonald's
Overheard by: Blayne
Thug: Yo, shorty, lemme buy you something special at McDonald's, show you I ain't a cheap date… why you laughin?
–117th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Jesse D
Obnoxious Southern tourist: Let's take a taxi back to the hotel, and then take the truck and eat at McDonald's again.
–W 49th & 5th
Overheard by: canucks
Haggardly old lady on cell: Damn, dude, I saw you at McDonald's checking me out yesterday!
–Broadway & 4th St
Overheard by: Jalex Leoley
Born-again evangelical, proselytizing: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!
–Staten Island Ferry
Bro: If she doesn't want to go to McDonald's every once in a while, I don't love her.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: alana h.
Crazy preacher man: Look up! You see that ball in the sky? It's not the sun. It's hell!
–Times Square
Subway preacher: Someone is gonna drive your car to your funeral, wearing your bling bling.
–Downtown A Train
Street bible pusher: Don't wait for the asteroids to rain down on you! Asteroids are heading this way now!
–6th Ave & 32nd St
Random crazy dude: Repent, all ye sinners! Get your ass to Genesis!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: LiD
Street preacher handing out bible verses: Jesus saves! Jesus saves! (to suit walking by) Not you! There's nothing good about you!
–8th Ave below 23rd St
Lady to dog: Pee! Pee! Pee! Poo on the universe!
–E 9th St
Overheard by: Jen
Well-dressed woman to little dog: Baby, those are cars. Cars are not our friends. You must always stay away from them… Are you listening to me?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Murphy
Woman, shrieking at barking dogs: Stop being crazy!
–Central Park
Overheard by: NB
Woman to Shih Tzu: Yo! I'm walking you, you're not walking me–calm down!
–109 & Manhattan Ave
Dog walker to dog, ranting: Bailey, I am so angry with you! (dog wags tail) Don't you even look at me right now! (yanks dog's leash) I'm taking the television out of your room! No more American Idol for you! (storms across street)
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: allison
Woman to dog sniffing random things: Focus. Fo-cus. Shit.
–Melrose & Wilson
Overheard by: richhorner.com
Drunk girl: Are you too drunk to drive?
Drunker girl: Fuck you. Indeed I am.
(she drives off)
–Matsumoto Inc.
Cop to another, about uniform and belt: I can't run in this thing.
–Havemeyer & 2nd, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Sandy Riverside
Random guy, watching 300-pound gangster being arrested: He was throwing the police around like pancakes!
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Alex
Guy with garbage bag of purses on St. Patrick's Day: Leprechaun stole my pot o' gold and left me these damn bags! Who wants to buy some stolen shit while the cops are drinking?
–46th St b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Madeline
Police officer to another: He knew I was on the force, and that nigga still gave me a ticket for speeding!
–1 Train
Female train conductor: Nigga, I hate them undercover cops! Always holding the doors! You can never be sure if they cops or if they just guys with gats!
–1 Train
20-something guy #1: I don't need, like, a mansion, or a million cars, just a job that pays enough to live and get around and, you know, have a lot of clothes.
20-something guy #2: Dude, but then you get married and she takes all the money. I'm telling you, every paycheck goes right in her purse.
–Broadway & 87th St.
Overheard by: married for love
Teen boy #1, dressed in leather biker jackets and combat books: I've done nothing for days except drink beer and smoke pot. I drink, and I smoke, and I drink, and I smoke, and then I get on the train. To go drink and smoke.
Teen boy #2, wearing same outfit: I know.
Boy #1: But I've got to enjoy it now, you know? When I turn 18, everything is going to change.
Teen boy #2: Dude, totally.
Teen boy #1: When I turn 18, I'm either going to get a car, get a really big tattoo, or get a girlfriend.
Teen boy #2: Really?
Teen boy #1: Yeah, totally. It's going to be way different.
Teen boy #2: What kind of car?
Teen boy #1: Something cool. Maybe a Toyota Corolla or something. I want to be able to go to New Palz whenever, you know? And hang out with my crew up there.
Teen boy #2: New Palz is so cool.
Teen boy #1: I know.
–F Train
