That’s the Third Time This Week

Bimbette art student #1, pointing at fresh grapes: I don’t get why they call ‘olive-skinned’ people ‘olive-skinned’. No one’s skin is that color!
Bimbette art student #2, after closer inspection of fresh grapes: Yeah, but those olives look messed up, I think they’re fake. Real olives are, like, darker or something.
Bimbette art student #1: Yeah, those olives are too light, that’s it. No one’s skin is that color of… of light green.
Cashier: Uhm, are you ladies in line? Can I get you some… Grapes?
Bimbette art student #3: Yeah, those olives are totally fake, that must be it.
[Group leaves deli.]Cashier: Did that really just happen?

–27th & 5th

Posted on March 16, 2015
Bimbettes, Cashiers, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Default, Fakes, Friends, Fruit, Idiots, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Race, Students, Stupidity

So at Least You Got Unlimited Salad and Breadsticks Out Of the Deal

Male NYU student #1: Like a deer caught in the headlights–he just wanted to have sex.
Male NYU student #2: I love the Olive Garden, though.

–Waverly & Greene

Posted on March 15, 2015
Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Food, Frat Boys, Sex, Soho, Wishes & desires

Do Girls Have Penises? Discuss

Straight guy #1: I saw this show on TV about guys who would date girls even if they have a penis ‘cuz they were so hot!
Straight guy #2: Penis is definitely the deal breaker for me.

–187th St & Broadway

Posted on March 14, 2015
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Penis, Trannies, TV, Washington Heights and Inwood

The Free Market Arrives in China… Town

Teen tourist: How much for the sunglasses?
Vendor: Thirty dollars.
Teen tourist: In Chinatown?!

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Ozzy

Posted on March 13, 2015
Business and Commerce, Chinatown, Compare/Contrast, Default, Money & Class, Questions, Shopping, Store, Teens, Tourists, Vendors & Street Performers

Wednesday One-Liners Heart Meerkats

Pretty 20-something girl: I might reconsider if there is a horse involved.

–Manhattan Beach

Overheard by: The Tutors

Girl to friend: Look at sociology. Look at the animals. That totally explains it. It is just like the animals, sociology explains everything.

–West 4th & Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Darci

Woman to man: Because I'd really like to understand what makes a good toreador and what makes a bad toreador.

–70th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Lisa B.

Girl who was just handed an anti-bird-porn flyer: I have never even seen birds mating. Now I am intrigued.

–Hair Rush Line Central Park

Overheard by: Krysta

Pet store clerk to customer: I don't know what flavor it is. It's turtle food. It's what they eat.

–Flushing Petland Discount

Park janitor to pigeons: I need all's you guys to be flappin' yo' wings and help me be cleanin' up these leaves. (pigeons coo, janitor starts cooing with them)

–Clinton & Congress, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Was a good impression

Posted on March 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Birds, Brooklyn, Central Park, Cleanliness, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Food, Girls, Offers and requests, Queens, Science, Sexuality, Upper East Side, Washington Square Park, Weirdness, Women

‘I’ Before ‘E’, Except After ‘C’, or in Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: Yeah, it’s weird, it feels like I’m still alive.

–W 8th & Broadway

Guy: I still think surprise necrophilia is weird.

–Robert Louis Stevenson School

Overheard by: Lucas

Man to woman companion: I hate single people. They’re all weird.

–90th b/w 2nd & 3rd

Man on cell: February is a weird month for Jews.

–9th St. and 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Hannah

Trader Joe’s employee to another: No, I would not call her weird. It takes a lot for me to call somebody else weird because I am not the most normal person on the planet myself. Meow!

–Trader Joe’s, Union Square

Overheard by: Ingwall

Observant girl: Just because you get weird haircuts doesn’t mean you’re smart.

–Bowery & Rivington

Posted on March 12, 2015
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Hair, Insults, Judaism, Lower East Side, Men, On Cell, Relationships, Sensory Experiences, Street, The Village, Time, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

He Refers to Sarah Palin As “Mama Mia” in Private Moments

Little boy: Mommy, John McCain likes Abba.
Mom: Does he really now? Then you two have something in common.
Little boy: Noooooo!

–College Walk, Columbia University

Posted on March 11, 2015
Boys, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Default, Kids, Moms, Music, Politics

There's a Ribbon Tied Around My Penis to Help Me Remember

Guy #1, reading Post: This is why I drink! I drink to forget this shit!
Guy #2: I used to drink to forget. Now I just pee to remember.

–Sin Sin Bar, East Village

Overheard by: Alan Roberts

Posted on March 10, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Pee, Union Square and East Village

Weren't We Talking About P.S.– I Love You?

Boyfriend, holding DVD: Seriously! It's the best movie ever made!
Girlfriend: How can you even say that?
Boyfriend: Hillary Swank won an Oscar!
Girlfriend: Not for her role in Karate Kid 2!

–F Train

Overheard by: smo