Ranting woman: We should be boycotting products from all those big corporations like Microsoft, and General Motors, and Nike, and–
Hobo: Shut the fuck up before the corporation gets to you and tortures you to death.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Ting
Middle-aged lady: Okay, we’re here. Do you want to do this? [Friend shakes head.] Well, you said you wanted to. Come over here with me. This is what we were planning. [Friend doesn’t move.] Let’s do this now. [Begins to sing] Imagine there’s no heaven…
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets.
–10 Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Jarrod
Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That's basically your only two options.
–Grand St, Chinatown
Overheard by: Mike Posillico
Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That's why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I'm not sellin' my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song.
–Bx15 Bus
Overheard by: Karly
Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn't listen to me will be sold!
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dahouhou
Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there.
–14th St, across Doomed Megastore
Overheard by: Not buyin what they're sellin
Hobo to white guy walking with three black friends: What's up, slave owner?
–The Village
Girl on phone: We should practice selling ourselves to each other.
–Subway Sandwiches, 38th & 7th
Crazy man on train: America! America! Anybody wanna buy some white people?
–A Train
Ditzy girl to friend: So I had this black boyfriend one time, and we had to break up because he kept talking about slavery. I was all, hello, I'm Czech, my people were slaves too.
–Columbia University School of Social Work
Overheard by: Eric
Black toddler to mortified white nanny: Wanna play slave?
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Subway sandwich maker: Can I help you?
Crazy old woman: Ughh.
Lady behind her: Pick from something on the list.
Crazy old woman: Cheese! Just cheese! A cheese sandwich.
–Subway, Hudson Street
Overheard by: Brendan
Crazy lady: Can I taste that pizza?
Whole Foods employee: No, you're only allowed one sample, and I already gave you one.
Crazy lady: No, you didn't!
Employee: Yes I did, I can see it in your mouth!
Guy in line: Gross.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Little boy singing to mother: E is for druggies!
–R Train
Overheard by: Allegra
Crazy hobo: Take the V train! V is for vasectomy. Why take the crowded E train where all the lesbians will crush you?
–V Train Platform
Overheard by: Tom
Conductor: This is 14th Street. Transfer here for the L as in "lower level of hell".
–F Train
Overheard by: So True
Little boy playing with chopsticks: Look mom! (forms a V) V for Victoria! (forms an X) X for xylophone! (forms a T) and T for terrorist!
–Japanese Restaurant, 3rd & 25th
Conductor over loudspeaker: I know it’s Saturday afternoon and all you people are mad confused because the trains are all messed up on weekends, so listen up: The W as in "Will you marry me?" will be running on the Q as in "cookie" line. And the R as in (goes in operatic singing voice) "rooooooooooomeooooooooooo" will be running normally for the rest of the weekend. Alright y’all… There you go. Enjoy your Saturday!
–Canal Street Subway Station
Overheard by: stfo
Lady: Wow, that really sucks…
Man: Yeah, you never know how useful all your fingers are until you lose one. And you know what’s so crazy? I used to fantasize about cutting one of my fingers off before this happened.
Lady: Are you serious? Which one?
Man: I couldn’t decide…
–2nd St & Ave C
Overheard by: bestbelieve
Man: Jesus is coming, are you prepared?
Hipster guy: Well, he ain’t getting on this elevator!
Woman: Oh Jesus, who let this nut in the building?
–Elevator, 42nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Cirrus Monk
Street preacher: You need the blood! The blood of Jesus!
Crazy hobo: You need a good butt fucking! Right in the mouth!
–Union Square
