10 Wednesdays I One-Liner About You

Extremely aggressive man, shouting and pointing at woman on cell: Do not! Ever! Refer to me as from fucking Baltimore! I fucking hate Baltimore!

–2nd Ave & 4th St

Female student, anxiously, to male friend: I don't know who they are, but I'm pretty sure I don't like 'em!

–Fordham University

Overheard by: eternal student

Flyer guy: Would you like to see a comedy..? Oh, it's you again! Why do you hate me?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Sara

Hobo to passers-by: Join the He-Man woman haters club! Free membership!

–Park Ave & 31st St

Little boy, pointing with disgust at picture of Jay Leno on hot drink sleeve: Is this George Washington? I hate him!

–Hot'n'Crusty, Upper West Side

Posted on January 13, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Flyer people, Fordham, Free stuff!, Friends, Gripes, History & Geography, Hobos, Idiots, Insults, Kids, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers, Street, Students, Stupidity, Times Square, TV, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Are You Tearing Up, Dude?

Student #1: I was on my way to work one morning, and I saw a live cockroach scurrying across the sidewalk in broad daylight.
Student #2: I thought that they don't like the light? I've only seen them at night and in subways.
Student #1: This was like a badass little rebel cockroach. I bet he got sick of being a slave to the darkness and dared to go where no cockroach has ever gone before. And all his cockroach friends were like “Don't do it, Jerry, no one's ever come back!” but they just couldn't hold him back.

–Lincoln Center, Fordham University

Overheard by: Fordham Student

Posted on December 19, 2009
Advice, Fordham, Insects, Public Transportation, Students, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

If Friends Had Been Real Life

Bro #1: What I'm saying is that you're the asshole. You tagged him as herpes whore, and the joke was about him getting it from you.
Hoe #1: That is bullshit, I've never had a cold sore in my life!
Bro #2: Well, you might soon, because I do have herpes.

–Fordham University

Posted on October 10, 2009
Biotechs, Fordham, Guys, Insults, Lies, STDs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday One-Liners: Willing, but Unripe

Loud-mouthed girl to friends: She says, "I've had sex with over 100 men." And so I says, "girl! You fourteen!"

–R Train

Thirty-something black man to Catholic high school girls: So what's it take for a couple of black guys to get to play with y'all's skirts?

–Metro-North

Overheard by: kfkdjsdf

Father to infant daughter in stroller: Hey! Close your legs!

–SoHo

Professor: Your favorite teacher from high school turned out to be a pedophile? Seriously? Well was he a real pedophile, or just a hooking-up-with-teenage-students kind of pedophile?

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Jack Package

13-year-old girl on phone: So guess what… I lost my virginity last night… looks like you owe me a soda.

–H & M

Overheard by: Imani

Posted on September 30, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Dads, Drinks, Fordham, Friends, Hook Ups, Kids, Moms, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Promiscuity, Questions, Race, Robbing the Cradle, School and studying, Sex, Soho, Store, Students, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Virginity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Sometimes You Just Wanna Pinch Wednesday One-Liner's Cheeks

Gay guy: You know what's so cute, is Europe.

–Mott & Prince

Overheard by: Anna P.

College girl to friend: And I'm like "No, you can't chew on the couch. You can't have couch for breakfast." (pause) But what about you, are there any cute guys in your dorm?

–Downtown 1 Train

Girl on phone: Oh-h-h-h my gawd, girl, you don't even know! And then he goes "Damn, girl you in Delta Gamma? Nothing goes down faster than an anchor!" And then I was just like "Shut up!" but I did it anyways, I mean… he was cute.

–Gates to Fordham University

Man on cell picking through garbage can and walking away with trash in hand: Oh my god, I just found the cutest belt in a trash can! Honestly, the things people throw away!

–118th St & Amsterdam Ave

Gay guy marching in protest to another: The guys in this protest are much cuter than at the last protest I attended.

–63rd St & Broadway

Posted on August 5, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Food, Fordham, Friends, Garbage, Girls, Global Geography, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Politics, Queer guys, Questions, Soho, Sorority Girls, Street, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Professor: “Did You Bring Enough for the Whole Class?”

Professor to couple making out during lecture: Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?
Guy: Oh sorry, one of our friends bet us 50 bucks we wouldn't make out during a lecture.
Guy in front of him to his girlfriend: We have got to get in on that!

–Fordham University

Posted on July 19, 2009
Apologies, Classroom, Couples, Education, Fordham, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Money & Class, Questions, School and studying, Students, Teachers/Professors, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Just Spit Like I Do, It's Only Bad If You Swallow…

Brunette, looking at menu: What's cream sauce?
Blonde: I don't know, but I feel like it's really bad for you.
Brunette: Yeah, you're right. I'm getting fries.

–Cafeteria, Fordham University

Headline by: Derek

Runners-Up:
· “America’s Obesity Problem:” – catsandgnomes
· “Freshmen 15 Here I Come!” – james
· “Potatoes Are a Vegetable, Right?” – Skug Skellum

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 16, 2009
Advice, Food, Fordham, Girls, Headline Contest Winners, Junk Food & Fast Food, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

I'm So Proud Of Him

Guy visiting mother at new office: Man…I've been in jail cells bigger than this.
Mother, to coworkers: He really means that.

–Fordham University

Posted on July 2, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Fordham, Guys, Moms, Prison, Weirdness

All Those Years in the Taffy Pull Have Finally Paid Off!

College bro #1: Yo, Troy! Guess who got voted biggest dick on campus?
College bro #2: I dunno, dude…
College bro #1, interjecting: You, man! High five!

–Fordham University

Posted on June 29, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Fordham, Frat Boys, Height, Penis