Dude to friend: You know what I mean, right?
Friend: Yeah, you mean he's rich, right?
Dude: Yeah, he's rich, but he's not independently wealthy. I mean, if he didn't have all that money, he wouldn't be rich.
–88th St & Columbus Ave
Overheard by: P. Marino
Punk kid, noticing sirens and flashing lights in the distance: I wanna go down there!
Friend: I don't care.
Punk kid: But I wanna be on Eyewitness News!
–57th b/w 3rd & 2nd
Overheard by: tori
High school girl to raucous group of friends: Oh man, remember the time we dared him to lick the church?
Group of friends: (wild laughter)
–Outside Grace Church, Broadway & 10th St
Girl: I haven't told my new roommate that our upstairs neighbor sounds like the Count when she's having sex.
–L Train
Man to two female companions: Don't you hate it when you go into your bathroom and find your roommate's pubes on the sink?
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Sarah
Jersey mom: We're so lucky she got a good roommate, one that doesn't stay up late or listen to rock music.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Liz
Guy to friend: If you are 35 and living in New York with 3 roommates, you should just shoot yourself, right?
–Outside Whole Foods, Union Square
Confused NYU male: The only people I would consider hooking up with are like, my roommate and like, Carl, my cousin.
–University Place & E 9th
Angry drunk girl to Guido friend she's dragging along: Hey, it's Laura*! (yelling) Hey you, Laura, you fucking slut! I heard you fucked Tommy*! You fucked my boyfriend, you fucking whore!
Laura: Hey, fuck you! I'll fuck whoever I want to fuck.
Angry drunk girl: You fucking slut! I can't fucking believe you!
Laura: Pipe down. His dick is tiny. Get a man with a real package, then I'll fuck him, and then you can complain.
Angry drunk girl: You whore!
Passerby: God, I love me some Bridge and Tunnel on a Saturday night.
Angry drunk girl: Did he just call us “Bridge and Tunnel”?! That dick!
–86th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Actually, it's WHOMever: you'll fuck WHOMever you want to fuck.
Large group of people dressed like Santa: What do we want? Christmas! When do we want it? Now!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: TR
Gay guy on cell: You don't want to see white Christmas. Honey, you don't understand… That was the whitest Christmas I have ever seen.
–Broadway & 43rd
20-something woman to 20-something guy, in April: It wouldn't be Christmas without you.
–Stromboli's Pizza
Mom to child yelling at her: Who do you think you're talking to? That's it, Christmas is over for you!
–135th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Yowza
Normal-looking woman to no one in particular: Look at Santa. The same letters as "Satan." Do you think Christmas has anything to do with Jesus? Where in the Bible does it say Jesus was born on December 24th? I tell you, Santa is Satan.
–Xmas Tree Stand, High School
Staples employee, in response to radio: Man! I want to move to Vietnam, or Pakistan, or wherever the fuck they don't care about Christmas.
–Staples, Union Square
Overheard by: Damon H.
Man to friend during interval: Have you heard about the Scientology Christmas pageant?
–Carnegie Hall
Man with entourage: So I killed one just before I went to sleep. (entourage laughs) Yeah, and I left it on her ceiling as a warning.
–Bleecker & Broadway
Dude walking down street: And if I kill him, I'm certified to bring him back to life…
–Brooklyn
Old man to another: You know, I don't even give a shit if I die anymore!
–E 84th St
Girl to friend: Why would you put the poison in milk?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michela
20-something guy: Fucking corduroy! I've gotta tell ya, I fucking love corduroy! I swear to god, I'd kill for corduroy!
–J.Crew Men's Store
Overheard by: Pedro
Boy: Ew! Honey and ass!?
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Guy to friend: I felt like her eyes were going to eat my face.
–Bleecker & Charles
Overheard by: Jacob
40-something man to 20-something girl: I just wanna nibble your birthmark.
–5th Ave & 9th St
Guy against pillar: I'll suck your ass… If you want it.
–J Train
Girl on bench, to guy in whose arms she is snuggled: Get your shit together and decide if you like men or women before you come around trying to date me!
–Battery Park
Woman to friend: What's with all these bi-colored, bi-curious tomatoes?
–Farmers Market, Union Square
Overheard by: Dave
Thug on cell: Yo! You didn't know that? (pause) Yeah man, he love pussy, but he love dick too!
–6th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave
Drunk blonde: I like both black guys and white guys. Does that make me bi?
–Joshua Tree Bar, Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Mon
Girl, as friends individually dart across street: The drunks go marching one by one, hooray, hooray!
–49th & 2nd
20-something blonde on cell outside bar: Are you drinking tonight? If not, I just want to see where you're at. Yeah, I'm drinking. I told you there's nothing I wouldn't do with you!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: maria
Girl on cell: I really miss being hungover with you. Some of my best moments were spent hungover with you…
–Union Square
Overheard by: winkinthecity
Girl, getting out of car: Man, I can't drink no more, but I tell you, I feel fiiiiiiinnneee. (girl gets back in car, which drives away)
–69th St & Narrows Ave
Overheard by: Domi
Youngish guy to youngish gal: Well, that won't stop her, she can drink through the window!
–6th Ave & 28th St
Overheard by: Eve
