We'd Like to Thank Wednesday One-Liner for This Emmy

Chick to friend: I've been really committed to learning about Jesus lately. Can you believe how crazy it is that Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights? I mean, like, no food or water for that long? Crazy! I mean, I never even realized how crazy it was until I saw David Blaine do it.

–R Train

Dreaded hobo, evangelizing: You gotta be able to suck dick to accept the love of Jesus Christ!

–40th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: melissa

Dude: It's not gay if it's Jesus!

–Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ladle

Fat Christian evangelist to another: Jesus had the computer technology to manipulate the atoms of water. That's why he could walk over the waves. That's how we convince the atheists.

–Union Square

Overheard by: smoking on the stoop

Hipster on cell: My aunt got a promotion at work. She's a big deal. If this were the bible, she would be Jesus' nephew.

–17th St & Broadway

Posted on March 3, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Christianity, Christians, Compare/Contrast, Computer, Crazies, Education, Fat People, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Hobos, Jesus, Jobs & Careers, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Science, Street, Stupidity, Time, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesnogsday One-Liners

White male to group of friends: I thought she was really into me… Then I turned around and she was kissing Mary.

–Pace University

Girl to boyfriend kissing her hand: Are you kissing my hand or wiping your nose?

–Central Park

Young boy to friend: Wow, lesbians kissing! I've only seen that on the internet!

–Grand Central Station

Black man to two men and two women making out indiscriminately: I thought all y'alls was gay, but now y'alls kissin' each other. I don't know what to think.

–Splash Bar

Posted on March 3, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Body Parts, Boys, Central Park, College, Couples, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Grand Central, Guys, Internet, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Sexuality, Strangers, Train Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

Dude, I'm Gay, but I'm Not That Gay

Bar guy #1: Wow, we gotta thank Jeff for all of this.
Bar guy #2: Yeah, we'll give him a blowjob later.

–Astoria

Overheard by: EchoNYC

Posted on February 28, 2010
Astoria, BJs, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gifts

You Don't Have to Be– Just Lie There!

College girl #1, yelling up to window: I want your services!
College girl #2, from window: I keep telling you I'm not gay! Get over it!

–171st & Fort Washington

Posted on February 19, 2010
Gays and Lesbians, Sex, Sexuality, Sorority Girls, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wishes & desires

He Was All, “Yeah, I Saw the 'There's No Place Like Homo' Sign on Our Door.”

Guy #1: So what did you say to him?
Guy #2: I said, “if you refuse to believe I'm gay, I am going to invite a boy over to our apartment and have sex with him while you stand there and watch.”

–E 7th St

Posted on February 15, 2010
Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Sex, Sexuality, Threats, Union Square and East Village

Frankly, I Only Talk to You Because You Pay Me

Woman in therapy: So I don't know, I really liked her.
Therapist: Well, did you talk to her about it?
Woman: No, the bitch doesn't call me anymore, she does yoga now. We used to go to Star Trek conventions together, but she stopped talking to me. I don't even care about that bitch anymore.
Therapist: You know, she's not a bitch just because she doesn't want to talk to you!
Woman: Yes she is, I don't even care.

–Forest Hills

Overheard by: They need a sound machine

Posted on February 14, 2010
Breaking Up, Doctors, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Lesbians, Nicknames & name calling, Pop Culture, Psychology, Queens, Relationships, Wishes & desires, Women, Yoga

Wouldn't That Involve Strobe Lights and a Disco Beat?

Blue-haired old lady, after flaming gay guy sets off theft alarm: What was that?
Store clerk: Gaydar.

–Barnes & Noble, 17th St

Overheard by: steve

Posted on February 6, 2010
Clerks, Gays and Lesbians, Old People, Questions, Store

Does Your Whole World Look Like a Porno?

Dude #1: I think Elizabeth and Adrienne are sleeping together.
Dude #2: Yeah?
Dude #1: Yeah. Their body language is like, “when can we get out of here and have sex?”

–4th Ave and 11th St

Overheard by: Ultimate Warrior

Posted on February 6, 2010
Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Language Barrier, Rumor Has It, Sex, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-Liners Feel Like a Woman or Whatever

Asian girl: A tranny spat and peed on me last night… so I guess I'm okay.

–Screaming MiMi's Boutique

Overheard by: Nancy

Gay guy, after woman bumps into him: Did you just step on my vagina?

–A Train

College boy: So then I woke up and realized I was next to a tranny…

–Manhattan College

"Girl" sitting at the door: My panties are too small to hold my dick in.

–Williamsburg

Catholic school girl, carrying large backpack, to friend: I'm looking forward to leaving this bathroom a guy. A very effeminate guy, but still a guy.

–Bathroom, Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: Innocent Bathroom-goer

Posted on February 3, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Catholics, Clothing, College, Frat Boys, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Height, On the Subway, One-liners, Pee, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, Sexuality, Smegma, Store, Students, Trannies, Vagina, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires

I'll Mull It Over Later with Your Dick in Your Mouth

Young teen boy #1: If you like the pussy, you gay nigga. You only straight if you like dick. Box-eatin' nigga.
Young teen boy #2: That's, like, the coolest shit I ever heard.

–Troutman & Central, Bushwick

Overheard by: john.ainley

Posted on February 1, 2010
Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Penis, Teens, Vagina, Weirdness

Gays and Lesbians