Yo Soy Wednesday-One-Liner!

Hobo with guitar, singing: My girl! That white girl is my girl! She may look like Brooke Shields but she's my girl! My girl! Oooh-ooh… Come on, everybody, sing with me, Puerto Ricans, too!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Tater

Drunk Puerto Rican father to man on train, yelling: The capital of Puerto Rico is the Bronx, bitch!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Alice Dalice

Guy, about some girls: I tried to tell them I was Puerto Rican, but they kept saying I was from Spain and called me a douchebag.

–East Village

Overheard by: NYCGlamDiva

Diner waitress: Just because he's Puerto Rican don't mean he's a cheetah.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: monkey girl

Asian girl to Hispanic guy: Come on! She's, like, the Puerto Rico of Asia!

–Jamba Juice, Mercer & Houston

Posted on September 16, 2009
About Celebrities, Animals & Nature, Asians, Baristas, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Drunks, Foreigners, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Hobos, Insults, Latinos, Musicians, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Passengers, Physical appearance, Puerto Ricans, Restaurants & Cafes, Singing, Soho, Stupidity, U.S. Geography, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

What's So Deadly About Wednesday One-Liners?

Gluttony

Cashier lady: Damn, thank the Lord it's Friday! I'ma go to the heights and get me some margaritas and some quesadittas and get drunk and fat and happy. Damn!

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: Sam

Lust

Woman to male friend: Oh, that sucks! I'm such a whore…

–5th Ave & 12th St

Greed

Teenager on school field trip eating sushi and talking to chaperon: Daddy, can I borrow some money for the gift shop? My credit card is down to its last $200.

–Metropolitan Museum of Art Cafe

Sloth

Hipster, seeing that there was construction on the train: Ugh, what are we–going to have to walk places now?

–L Train

Wrath

Library staff: Group study room people, we know who you are. Because we have your IDs. Please come downstairs and pick them up so we don't have to unleash our wrath on you.

–Brooklyn College Library

Envy

Two woman walking tall dog: I mean… can you believe that I used to carry him in my Givenchy bag and wrap him in cashmere as a puppy? I would be jealous!

–Bleecker & Spring

Pride

Girl, grabbing her ass: Don't you just love my ass? My ass rocks. I love my ass!

–Battery Park

Posted on September 16, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Battery Park, Beauty, Brooklyn, Brooklyn College, Cashiers, Clothing, Compliments, Dads, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Duane Reade, Ethnic Food, Fashion, Friends, Gifts, Girls, Happiness, Hipsters, Insults, Library, Man's Best Friend, Money & Class, Names, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Promiscuity, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Shopping, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Teens, The Met, Threats, Time, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Women

Wednesday How-Many-Liners?

Tourist, looking at buildings across from Central Park: So which one is the Statue of Liberty?

–Columbus Circle

Girl: Are pork chops made of lamb?

–23rd & Park Ave

Overheard by: Nora Claire

Girl to bouncer at bar: Does this place have really awesome bathrooms?

–East Village

Overheard by: bb

Tourist: Is Chinatown closed?

–Canal St

Overheard by: Kristen

Hippie at exhibit for world's most extreme animals: Are they alive?

–Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy

Lady on cell: Times Square's where that ball is, right?

–42nd St & 6th St

Overheard by: tourists rock

Guy: What is this? So I sign up and get a free beer?

–Designated Driver Booth, Citi Field

Overheard by: AJ

Posted on September 16, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Bouncers, Chinatown, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Free stuff!, Girls, Guys, Hippies, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Museum of Natural History, NYC Geography, On Cell, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Statue of Liberty, Street, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

…a Negligible Disappointment

Chick #1: The other dat at your job, I stole that lollipop. I thought it was root beer, but that shit was butterscotch.
Chick #2: That's what you get for stealing lollies.

–Screening of Repo Man

Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.

Posted on September 15, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, Girls, Movie Theaters, Thievery

Or Start Carrying My Keys in a Purse

Girl #1: You really need to start keeping your legs closed!
Girl #2: You're right, I really need to keep them closed!

–Union Square

Posted on September 15, 2009
Advice, Body Parts, Girls, Promiscuity, Union Square and East Village

You Are Why I Could Never Be a Lesbian.

Girl #1: So you weren't even ready to go!
Girl #2: Yes, I was. I was all ready except for that, so all I had to do was go get ready and then I would have been ready.

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Posted on September 14, 2009
Girls, Port Authority, Stupidity, Time

Eye-Fucking Has Its Limits

Girl to 20-something friend: Apparently, you can get pregnant if he looks at you across a crowded room!
(shocked pause)
20-something: Oh my god! Are you serious, I can?
Girl, glaring at friend: Are you serious? Asshole!

–Franklin Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on September 14, 2009
Brooklyn, Friends, Girls, Insults, Lies, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Stupidity

Not Without Vodka

Jetlagged guy: Want some orange juice?
Jetlagged girl: It's, like, 5 am for me. I'm not going to start drinking… orange juice.

–AirTrain

Overheard by: We can understand what you're saying here

Posted on September 14, 2009
Drinks, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Time, Trains Not Subway, Travel

Fuck Chicks, Presumably.

Guy hitting on girl, noticing a rainbow tag on her shoe: Rainbows, huh? Yeah. I live in Florida, so…
Girl's: So…?
(awkward silence)
Guy: What do you do?

–3 Train

Posted on September 13, 2009
Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Shoes, Stupidity

While Rolling on the Sidewalk

Young blonde to mother: Giselle just made me feel stupid.
Mother: Well, it was the way she laughed at you.

–9th Ave & Little West 12th St

Overheard by: west villager

Posted on September 13, 2009
Girls, Gripes, Laughter, Moms, Parents, Stupidity, The Village

Girls

Eye-Fucking Has Its Limits