Hipster dude: We're made for each other, you want to save Israel and the planet, and me too.
Hipster gal: I don't want to save the planet–I want to take it over!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Juantanamo Bay
Hipster dude: We're made for each other, you want to save Israel and the planet, and me too.
Hipster gal: I don't want to save the planet–I want to take it over!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Juantanamo Bay
Old guy on phone: All I've done is live in a bitchy bitchy bitchy world.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Danielle
Ghetto guy to another: A bitch in a wheelchair can still suck a dick!
–25th St & 6th Ave
Wife to husband: You do the thinkin', I'll do the bitchin'.
–84th & 2nd
Overheard by: Val
Male scrub nurse: Yeah, he's in that bitch right now. (female scrub nurse looks shocked, male scrub nurse wiggles fingers on both hands) Yeah, he's in there.
–Mount Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: and by
Thug to friend: Yeah my homegirl…she's a slutty bitch, but she's good people.
–Q Train
Dressed up overweight 20-something girl to another: We're in our 20s. We're like supposed to be slutty, right?
–Norman & Diamond
Overheard by: Guess I missed the memo 20-something girl
College girl to another: You gotta hit it and quit it, like a dude!
–W Broadway & 108th St
Overheard by: Tess
Janky fat woman: He never told me not to tramp!
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Rob
Loud thug with neck tattoos on cell: You know Stud is my son, dude. Stud just wanna hump on women all day.
–Deli, Myrtle Ave, Fort Greene
Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton
Hipster chick to another: I was wasted! Then I saw him in daylight and said "Holy shit!"
–Havemeyer, Grand Street, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Miss Heather
Lawyerly woman to another: I told him that just because I want to fuck does not mean that we have to love each other.
–Foley Square
Overheard by: Julio
Random guy to cute girl: Good luck, honey. What you wake up with, you're stuck with.
–Jimmy Steiny's, Hyatt Street, Staten Island
Young man to friend: So, about your girlfriend…I think she and I should fuck.
–Union Square West & 16th St
Street hawker selling datebooks: Wanna cheat on your husband? Plan it out! Get a daily planner, write it in red!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: MPW
Hipster teen girl to friend: Dude, don't worry about it. Whenever I want guys to cheat on their girlfriends with me I always just take off my pants and start singing Afroman.
–Mulberry St
Chick to friends: Seriously, it's a full-on dating service for married people. (pause) Like, adulterers.
–Broadway & Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Chuckles
Guy to another: Have you been cheating a lot? Does she know you're gay?
–6 Train
Hobo: So would all unhappily married women please step forward? I know there are some unhappily married women out there, and I'm willing to satisfy your needs. (pause) I know you're out there!
–Times Square
Overheard by: John
Preppy girl to friend: Do you ever shower and shower and still not feel clean?
–Broadway b/w 112th & 113th
Overheard by: Ladle
Young thug to two women: Yo, you make me wanna take a shower.
–Penn Station
Large bald guy with shopping bag with laundry detergent in it: I got this bag at Foot Locker. Know what I am going to do with it? I am going to put laundry detergent in it. Isn't that a good idea?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Nathan
20-something guy to another: Dude, there's no way I'm tossing a salad unless I know–with absolute fucking certainty–its been freshly washed.
–Washington Square
Young woman on cell: And then he physically got in the shower with me…again!
–Spring St & Crosby St
Guy #1: It's a great book; this guy is like my second favorite author…you know, after Jesus.
Guy #2: Totally man, totally.
–Atlantic Ave Subway station
Overheard by: Ali
Guy: One day I'm just going to leave a pube in your bed.
Girl: What if I think it's mine?
Guy: Ewww!
Girl: What? I bet my pubes are cleaner than yours.
Guy: What are you talking about? My pubes are squeaky clean!
–Third North Dorms, NYU
Woman trying to drag man into a store: Please, please, please. I'll let you ridicule me in front of society.
Guy: Please, I do that shit already.
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Glad he's not mine
Asian guy eating double bacon cheeseburger: So, I'm seriously thinking about going vegetarian. I just don't want to eat meat anymore.
Asian girl: Yeah, I know what you mean, I don't like mushrooms either.
–Lunch Spot, 39th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Mia Wallace
Guy, seeing woman: Maya?
Maya: Hey! What are you doing here?
Guy: I don't know, I'm still drunk!
–E 92nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Sarah
