Girl #1: What's she been up to?
Girl #2: Having a big ass.
–Union Square
Girl #1: What's she been up to?
Girl #2: Having a big ass.
–Union Square
Girl: Why are there sprinkler systems on the sides of the buildings?
Guy: That's what helps the buildings grow big and tall!
–Madison Square
Overheard by: I knew it
Random girl: I think PETA should be informed any time an animal is fully submerged in a vagina.
–Webster Hall
Overheard by: Jen
20-something platinum blonde to another: Her vagina… Her vagina must be the size of, like, the Grand Canyon.
–7th Ave & 12th St
Girl, about her play: I don't think people are going to laugh about the vagina being killed on stage… Yeah, no one's gonna laugh when the vagina dies.
–NYU
Dude questioning another: What do mean by "moderate Taliban"? Like the women can wax their vaginas?
–Elizabeth Street
Young man shouting on cell: Then just tell her you don't like her vagina!
–26th St & Park Ave
Guy outside NY Life building: You have to entrance a man with your pussy… or your voice.
–26th & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Seeking Dating Advice
Ghetto guy to date: I eat pussy for 40 minutes!
–The Frying Pan
Overheard by: Aly
Irate woman on cell: I ain't a size two anymore! This shit be hurtin my ass, and my vah-jay-jay!
–6th Ave & 38th St
Girl to another: If you were a stranger, I'd punch you in the vagina.
–D Train
Father to teenage son: There will be plenty more pussy to come, you just need to get your swagger back.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mister Pants
Teenage girl: He plays with his 25-inch monster all day in his room.
Teenage boy: Are you talking about a computer or a penis?
–High School, Queens
Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They're so cute!
Blonde #1: They don't look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awesome!
Blonde #1: Wanna feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend's boobs)
–Apple Store, 14th St
Overheard by: Susie
Asian girl: A tranny spat and peed on me last night… so I guess I'm okay.
–Screaming MiMi's Boutique
Overheard by: Nancy
Gay guy, after woman bumps into him: Did you just step on my vagina?
–A Train
College boy: So then I woke up and realized I was next to a tranny…
–Manhattan College
"Girl" sitting at the door: My panties are too small to hold my dick in.
–Williamsburg
Catholic school girl, carrying large backpack, to friend: I'm looking forward to leaving this bathroom a guy. A very effeminate guy, but still a guy.
–Bathroom, Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Innocent Bathroom-goer
Guido to another: She actually shaves between sex and shit.
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Belladonna Wexhome
Middle-aged Guido: Nobody gives tricks any more, only treats. I remember when I was a kid. I used to get shaving cream in my face.
–78th St & West End
Overheard by: jess_stang
Guy coming out of Beeswax screening: I will not bow to the hegemony of the razor.
–BAM Cinemafest
Girl to friend and boyfriend: I definitely prefer a female gynecologist to a male one. Mine is a really old woman, and she's great! She just says to me, "I am shaving you." My lips are really big!
–E 7th St
Overheard by: Evan
30-something suit on cell: We live in an infinite universe. That means there are infinite possibilities. You are insignificant compared to the size of the universe. You mean absolutely fuck-all nothing, so get off your high horse and do what you're told.
–40th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Megan
Guy on cell: Dude, so how much more time do you have in Russia before you go into space?
–Ave A & 8th St
Overheard by: Daniella
Guy on cell: The subways are like the planets. Generally they're in their orbit, but you never know. (pause) Really? C'mon, Mars!
–Uptown C Train
Overheard by: furf
Three-year-old boy to adult family friend: I love you to outter space! Outter space goes upupupupup!
–West Village
Crazy man straddling bike: Goddamn! I can't believe I missed the last rocket ship to the moon! (in high-pitch voice) It's okay, man! There's another one in five minutes!
(back in normal voice) Okay, man, that's cool. Roger that.
–1st Ave & 1 St
Sales associate: They worked with NASA scientists. This is what the moon actually smells like.
–Home Fragrance Department, Bergdorf Goodman
Overheard by: Heather H.
(couple enters elevator, making out and groping each other as they enter)
Meathead boyfriend to semi-attractive girlfriend: Are they going to make me sign out and then sign in when we get back?
Semi-attractive girlfriend: I'm not sure, I think probably.
Meathead boyfriend: Well, if it helps keep you safe…
Semi-attractive girlfriend: Speaking of safe, I think I have another stalker. But this time, he's 6'3″, 230 pounds, and a fireman.
–Columbia Dorm
Overheard by: Z
