Wednesday One-Liners Support a Woman's Right to Shoes

Dude looking at girl shoes: If I were a chick I'd wear the ugliest shoes, I swear.

–5th Ave

Woman on phone call with son's teacher: I know he's in the big boy group, but if you see he put his shoes on the wrong feet again, could you just let him know, please?

–57th St & Madison

Four-year-old girl: My toes are in my shoes!

–Bus

Overheard by: vcstr

Girl, with pride: I can't get laid in this town without these pointy fucking shoes. My feet are so black and blue, and so are you!

–F Train

Overheard by: Ofelia Hiney

Gay guy to friend: Oh, c'mon, at its best, The Wizard of Oz is just a story about two women fighting over a pair of shoes.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Paul N.

Posted on May 1, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Bus, Colors, Education, Elementary & Middle School, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Movies, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Sex, Shoes, Street, Teachers/Professors, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners

Now Who'll Sell Me My Necessary Painkillers?

African American middle-aged lady #1: So my neighbor said they are moving to Pennsylvania.
African American middle-aged lady #2: Yeah, I know people are moving there. It's to avoid the criminal element.
African American middle-aged lady #1: They are the criminal element!

–M1 Bus

Posted on April 25, 2015
Black People, Bus, Crime and Punishment, On the Bus, Travel, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday O-o-o-oooo-One-Liners

Skinny Spanish girl: That nigga was saying how he had me moaning and screaming, but I was like, "nigga, I'm just loud–that doesn't mean you're good!"

–Ft. Hamilton Parkway, Brooklyn

Overheard by: also loud

Ghetto chick to friend: Yo…in my country, it's illegal to not please your woman. You gotta fuck her till she begs you to stop.

–116th & 1st

Overheard by: DonnaRae

Man on phone: Yeah…I just fingerblasted her for like an hour. No big deal.

–E 4th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: intern2

Mom to teenage son: And I was like "sure, have sex in my bed, it never sees any."

–Mercer & W 3rd

Girl on cell: Oh no, he's back fucking his secretary now, so I'm like, completely free!

–East Village

20-something on cell, after loud graphic sex tale: And don't you be telling anyone! I don't like strangers knowing my business.

–Express Bus to Brooklyn

Posted on April 25, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Bus, Comebacks, Crime and Punishment, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Hand-Jobs, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Infidelity, Latinos, Men, Moms, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Parents, Rumor Has It, Sex, Skinny People, Street, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Think “Speed Dating” Requires Meth

Jewish girl: She signs up for JDate, goes out to dinner, and is engaged in four months. I sign up for JDate, and I go out to dinner with a duck. What the hell!

–Astoria

Suit on cell: That's what you get when you start dating at age 18 while volunteering in a Croatian refugee camp.

–M66 Bus

Female 30-something suit: Why would you think I don't have taste in men just because I'd do a guy with a hook, or a guy in a wheelchair?

–31st & Crescent, Astoria

Loud woman on cell: It's called "communication," Larry! Communication! You are such an idiot!

–3rd Ave b/w 40th & 41st

Overheard by: Tom

College guy to friend: I don't understand it, man. Every time I go out with this girl, like her vagina is showing.

–8th St & University

Man on cell: 26 years? Damn! After 26 days, I'd be all like, "bitch, I love you and all, but the next word that comes outta yo mouth, I'm gonna have to bash yo head in with a frying pan. I'm sicka hearin' the sound of yo voice!" No, of course I don' mean that, baby.

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: Riot

Posted on April 23, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Frat Boys, Friends, Handicaps, Insults, Internet, JAPs, JFK Airport, Marriage, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Questions, Sex, Street, Suits, The Village, Threats, Vagina, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

Let’s Hop on a Bus, Wednesday One-liners

Man on cell: Yo Hamster! Oh, hey Tomato, whats goin’ on?

–Bx12 bus

Overheard by: Courtney C

Girl on cell: I swear it had to be 8 or 9 inches long…yeah I know, I was shocked. It was the biggest damned cockroach I have ever seen…yes, a roach, what did you think I was talking about?

–Bx9 bus

Overheard by: ogie

Bus driver: Next stop 3rd Avenue. We’ll be arriving in a week to 10 days…Anyone want to get off here? That’ll be $50. Send me a check.

–M14D bus

Overheard by: Sherri

Posted on April 20, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Fruit, Insects, Nicknames & name calling, NYC Geography, On the Bus, Public Transportation, Time, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Weirdness

Um, Have You Seen “Sex and the City”?

Gay man: And over here, I like to call it “shoe street,” cuz they have shoe after shoe after shoe after shoe store!
Tourist: They have shoes in New York?

–M8 Bus

Overheard by: They Have Shirts Here, TOO!!

Posted on April 19, 2015
On the Bus, Queer guys, Questions, Shoes, Shopping, Tourism, Tourists

The Sisters Are Always Getting Estimates from Burly Tradesmen

Old lady #1: The exterminator. He’s an extremely nice man. Isn’t he a nice man?
Old lady #2: Yes, he was very nice.
Old lady #1: We should hire him more often.
Old lady #2: Oh, you’re so bad.

–B61 bus

Overheard by: aspiring old lady

Posted on April 14, 2015
Advice, Beauty, Jobs & Careers, Old People, On the Bus, Talking/Convos, Women

Not the Greeting I Was Expecting

Girl #1: Hey, what's up?
Girl #2: I'm gonna kick you in the throat.
Girl: Okay…

–B9

Posted on April 13, 2015
Girls, Kick, On the Bus, Threats, Weirdness

Frau Blücher: He Vass My Vednesday Vun-Liner!

Guy to girl in subway: I was your boyfriend in third grade, don't you remember? You left me for Tyrone because he had the 64-pack of crayons.

–BX 41 Bus

Overheard by: Stacey V

Slutty hipster on cell: Why do you keep saying "Jew" boyfriend?

–Bowery & 4th

Girl to friend: Wait, do you mean my boyfriends in general, or just my Jewish boyfriends?

–David's 24-Hour Bakery

Overheard by: Caroline

Male economics professor: You get your first boyfriend, and your satisfaction is huge. But then, you get three more boyfriends. Have any of you experienced having four boyfriends? Sometimes, they give you a headache.

–Pratt Institute

Posted on April 10, 2015
Brooklyn, Health and Hygiene, On the Bus, Race, Relationships, Union Square and East Village

Haley Joel Osment Seems to Get Worse Roles Every Year

Teen #1: Are we there yet?
Teen #2: It's right over there.
Teen #3 (screaming): I see it! I see Atlas! It's white, I see it.
Bus driver: Yeah, and I see dead people across the street…you don't hear me screaming.

–Q29 Bus, Atlas Park Mall

Posted on April 6, 2015
Bus Drivers, Colors, Death, Directions, Malls, On the Bus, Public Transportation, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Teens, Weirdness

On the Bus