College student #1: I don't think I could get high enough to eat that much cream cheese.
College student #2: Oh, yeah, I forgot that you don't like cream cheese.
–N Train
Overheard by: klo
College student #1: I don't think I could get high enough to eat that much cream cheese.
College student #2: Oh, yeah, I forgot that you don't like cream cheese.
–N Train
Overheard by: klo
Teenage kid with mini white fluffy dog: Can I please get a dollar?
20-something girl: Nah, hah, what's with the dog?
Teenage kid: I gotta better question–do you have a boyfriend?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Maria
Guy in courtyard, doing pelvic thrusts: Up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and…
–NYU Dorm
Girl to friends: Yeah, after he stopped doing yoga it all went downhill…
–East Village
Guy on cell, screaming: I'm a machine! I'm unstoppable! Who goes out till four in the morning and then destroys a triathlon the next day? I'm a machine!
–91st St & York Ave
50-something yoga instructor: Bring attention to your reproductive organs, squeeze them as hard as you can, and release. Let them go, let them hang loose.
–Yoga Studio
Overheard by: Puff
Conductor: I was watching the winter Olympics speed skating and I got to thinking about the summer Olympics. A New Yorker should win the 100 meter dash. All they have to do is put an open train door at the end of the track and start the race with "boop boop." You know that New Yorker is going to win the gold. Ya'll have a good day now.
–A Train
Overheard by: Commuter #1,792,824
Crazy man, singing in deep tenor voice: Meow! Meowwwwwwww! Meowwwww! Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
–Cooper Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
White woman, singing: That's the way/uh-huh/uh-huh/I like it! Brrr! Cock-a-doodle-do!
–23rd St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Thug, quietly to friends: Daaaamn, yo! I just wanta teabag that ho! (starts singing loudly) Come back girl, I juss wanta teabag, o, I juss wanta teabag yo ass!
–Outside Tech College, 31st & 10th
Woman in bathroom stall, singing operatically: I don't have a care in the world! (sneezes) Oh my god! Damn it!
–Actor's Equity Building
Overheard by: Natalie
Boy, singing: Vagiiiiiiinas… They're eeeeverywhere, vagiiiiiinas…
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Hobo, singing: I don't neeeeed no money! (pause) Well, that's not exactly true, that's just the words to the song.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Chris K.
Gay man #1: There's always a moment in plays where someone has the chance to drop their morals and go for the money…
Gay man #2: But that opportunity never arises in real life. I keep waiting. Got my morals all bagged up and ready to go!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Julie
Girl: I can't believe he's being such an asshole to me! I've enriched his life so much!
Friend: Yeah?
Girl: Yeah! It's because of me that he knows who Lady Gaga is!
–R Train
Overheard by: Soyeon
Teenage girl to boyfriend: I've seen so many people here. Where do they all live? I haven't seen any houses.
Boyfriend: I don't know.
–R Train, near Canal
Girl, to no one in particular: This train is so packed! It's thrilling! It feels like sex!
Bemused Aussie: This is what it feels like? Getting crammed up against 200 of your best mates?
Girl: You're right. I must be doing it wrong…
–Packed E Train
Overheard by: Dave
Teen #1: I can't believe you've never seen Rejected. It's all over the internet. You quote it all the time!
Teen #2: I do?
Teen #1: Yeah! “My spoon is too big!”
Random guy several seats away: “My anus is bleeding!”
Teen #1: Yaaaay!
Random guy: Now everyone on the train is staring at me like.Who is that weirdo? Except for you.
Teen #2, a minute later: What did he say about his anus?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
