Flight attendant, over loudspeaker: We will now be dimming the lights for the remainder of the flight.
(Lights dim)
Flight attendant, in deep, sexy voice: Are you in the mood to fly now? I thought so…
Southwest Airlines Flight
Austin, Texas
Flight attendant, over loudspeaker: We will now be dimming the lights for the remainder of the flight.
(Lights dim)
Flight attendant, in deep, sexy voice: Are you in the mood to fly now? I thought so…
Southwest Airlines Flight
Austin, Texas
Conductor, over speaker: Stop touching the train. Yes. You. I can see you on the security cameras.
Sutherland Train Station
Australia
Bus driver: Push back, push back! Don't be afraid! Hold somebody's hand, tell 'em you love 'em!
57 Bus
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Smallison
Mother to daughter hopping up and down on escalator: Now Beth*, if you keep doing that your pants are going to get caught in the conveyor belt and they’ll be ripped off and all of South Station is going to see your little mermaid underwear. [Girl immediately stops.]
South Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Meg
Sober girl, enthusiastically, to friend who just threw up: You look cute!
Drunk friend, equally enthusiastic: I just threw up!
Sober girl, still enthusiastic: I bet you feel cute!
Subway Bathroom
Overheard by: tina
College girl: Can I have one ticket for the midnight train, going anywhere?
Ticket vendor: (blank stare)
College girl: Not so funny out loud as it is in my head, huh? One ticket to Rome, please!
Amtrak Station
Buffalo-Depew, New York
Conductor: Welcome on board the 4:15 service to Wolverhampton, calling at Smethwick, Sandwell and… Oh god, my head… (mic cuts out for a while) Sandwell… and Dudley, and Wolverhampton… (breathes heavily, deep sigh, mic cuts out again)
Birmingham to Wolverhampton Train
England
Overheard by: xSJBx
Pink-haired teen: You've never been on the bus before? Oh my god, we totally stole your bus virginity!
http://weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com/2007/04/does-that-make-you-busslut.html
Overheard by: 66
T conductor, over loudspeaker: Sir! The world is not your toilet!
Park St. Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Pilot, after riding tarmac for 20 minutes: Ladies and gentleman, this concludes our first two miles of our trip from London-Heahtrow International to Newark International. We do hope you enjoyed our lovely tarmac. The flight will commence once air traffic gives the all-clear for takeoff.
Heathrow International Airport
London
England
Overheard by: tired traveler