Cracked out gay guy: Girl, I like your coach purse, is it real?
Snotty Upper West Side girl: Yes, it's real.
Cracked out gay guy: Don't lie to me. I'm a fag…I can tell.
–2 Train
Overheard by: cougar
Cracked out gay guy: Girl, I like your coach purse, is it real?
Snotty Upper West Side girl: Yes, it's real.
Cracked out gay guy: Don't lie to me. I'm a fag…I can tell.
–2 Train
Overheard by: cougar
Hot black girl: Where did summer go? Now we're all back to wearing glasses and snorting Adderall… or taking it with water.
–24th St & 3rd Ave
Guy to friend: If I just gave up speed I'd totally be getting more ass.
–Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Jack
Guy to another: Yeah, so you take a gram of coke, then mix it with a ground-up Xanax, then mash up an E. Then you put it all into pill form, and down it with a Sparks!
–N Train
Architecture professor: Everything in moderation… except for heroin. Heroin, you go for the gusto.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Denali
3rd grader, cheerily announcing to subway: I'm starving! I didn't even have breakfast! (jubilantly) Just candy!
–4 Train
Overheard by: i tried that once
Cosi employee to another: Dude, don't tell anyone, but I put a *special ingredient* in the brownies.
–Cosi Restaurant
Fat girl with three skinny friends and a large cupcake: So what do you think our cupcake choices say about our personalities?
–Crumbs Bake Shop
Overheard by: Damon
Old guy with ponytail: You bootlegged My Bloody Valentine? That's like breaking into the US Mint and stealing the chocolate sauce!
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Good Analogy
Girl: And by "jellybean," I mean "fetus"!
–Christopher & W 4th St
Woman: It's no longer a chocolate vagina, it's just a pool of chocolate!
–Manhattan Center Grand Ballroom
Overheard by: Ilyssa
Drunk girl on bike #1: How's your nose?
Drunk girl on bike #2: How's your neck?
Drunk girl on bike #1: Hey, all I'm saying is that I'd rather get a hickey from a random boy I don't know than break my nose by falling off my bike. (falls off her bike) Shiiiiiiiiiiiit.
Girl #2: How's your fucking nose now, whore?
–NYU
(#106 bus arrives)
Black woman to white woman: You know if this bus is going to East Harlem?
White woman: Yes, I know.
Black woman: Oh, okay. I was just making sure you knew where you were going.
–96th St & Amsterdam
Dude #1: Would you let Clooney give you a handjob?
Dude #2: Hmmnn. George or Rosemary?
–Broadway & Houston
Nursing student #1: What about backpacks?
Nursing student #2: Mmm…Nazis.
–Wagner College
Girl: Did you know that my ancestors invented the thing that links subway cars together?
Guy: Did you know that my ancestors got drunk in the subway cars?
–MTA Transit Museum
Emo: Do you do anal?
JAP fox: Uh, no, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't do it, just hasn't come up yet.
Emo to another girl: Do you do anal?
Another girl: Bitch! I can't even take a shit.
–Special Boutique, 2nd & Bedford
Overheard by: Este
