In New York, Even a Compliment Can Get You Beaten Up

Doo-wop busker: Hey man, anyone ever tell you that you look just like Wynton Marsalis?
Black guy who does actually look like Wynton Marsalis: Who?
White woman: Oh! Yeah, he does!
Doo-wop busker: Yeah, am I right? Wynton Marsalis, in the flesh.
Black guy: I don't even know who that is.
Doo-wop busker: Jazz trumpet, man. Genius.
White woman: He's a wonderful musician. You should look him up!
Black guy: Uh, sure. What was the name again?
Doo-wop busker: Wyn-ton. Mar-sa-lis. They ever make a movie of his life, you got it made.

–R Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on April 19, 2010
About Celebrities, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Movies, Music, Musicians, Names, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, White People

I'm Helping Him Learn English

40-something lady #1: So this new guy you're dating, what does he do?
40-something lady #2: He's a driver.
40-something lady #1: Oooh! like a professional driver, a race car driver?
40-something lady #2: No, like a cab.

–4th St & Ave B

Posted on April 19, 2010
Alphabet City, Cars and Driving, Dating, Jobs & Careers, Questions, Women

There's No Money in Rolling Corpses Anymore

Delivery truck man #1: You know what's great at that Chinese spot?
Delivery truck man #2: What?
Delivery truck man #1: Their pork dumplings.
Delivery truck man #2: I'll tell you what.
Delivery truck man #1: What?
Delivery truck man #2: That's definitely not kosher.
(they laugh)
Delivery truck man #1: But wait if I take it to a rabbi to bless, can it become kosher?
Delivery truck man #2: Good question.
Delivery truck man #1: Yeah… Wow! We are on the right side of the ferry, remember when the right side was for only cokeheads and weedheads, and your mother would say “don't go on the right side of the ferry” and people used to OD and you would find dead bodies? Those were the days!

–Staten Island Ferry

Posted on April 17, 2010
Animals & Nature, Cocaine, Coworkers, Death, Ferry, Food, Judaism, Laughter, Nostalgia, Questions, Staten Island Ferry, Weed

You Can't Say “Engelbert Humperdinck” in a Gay Bar, Sir

Bar patron, listening to Sweet Caroline: Wow. I've never heard this version before. It's cool! Who's singing?
Twinkie bartender: It's from that show Glee. I've never heard the original, though. Whose song is it?
Bar patron: Oh, man, that takes me back. Englebert Humperdinck. A guy named Englebert Humperdinck–he wrote it for Caroline Kennedy.

–Gay Bar, West Village

Overheard by: Bob

Posted on April 16, 2010
About Celebrities, Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Bosses, Gays and Lesbians, Music, Names, Questions, Singing, West Village

Raise Your Hand If You Loved Gosford Park

Fat girl: With my connections, I could be a lawyer or executive or some nonsense like that.
Fat boyfriend: So why don't you?
Fat girl: Cuz I hate shoveling that political BS.
Fat boyfriend: So you just keep on being a janitor?
Fat girl: Maid.

–M7 Bus

Posted on April 15, 2010
Bus, Couples, Fat People, Gripes, Jobs & Careers, On the Bus, Questions

These Wednesday One-Liners Got Sole!

Woman: Nothing says "ferry terminal" like fish with moustaches.

–Battery Maritime Building

Overheard by: Jon A.

Guy in quiet, crowded elevator: Do you know if jellyfish reproduce sexually?

–Google's NYC Office, 15th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Derek

Teen girl to friend: But your shrimp ate a fish alive? Is that what happened? I don't believe you. Shrimp can't eat fish. It's like part of a food chain or something.

–Metro North Railroad

Overheard by: Jessica S.

Excited tourist girl among crowd of Chinese people: I can smell the fish!

–Grand Street Subway Station

Overheard by: Angelina

30-something female customer to H&M employee: Do I smell like I just ate fish?

–H&M

Overheard by: julia

Really drunk girl in front of gallery: I would fuck him for lobster!

–26st St & 10th Ave, Chelsea

Overheard by: Charlotte

Posted on April 14, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinese, Clerks, Customers, Drunks, Elevators, Food, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Office, One-liners, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Store, Street, Teens, The Village, Tourists, Train Station, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

Then You Don't.

College boy #1: Do we have balls?
College boy #2: I don't know.

–6 Train

Posted on April 13, 2010
Balls, On the Subway, Questions, Students

Most Are Bilingual, You Know

Guy #1: Did you know eating pussy was a hispanic thing?
Guy #2: No, I did not.
Guy #1: I don't like that word, though. There are nicer ways to say it.
Guy #2: Sorry… “Latino.”

–34th St & Houston

Overheard by: Daniel Ezra Johnson

Posted on April 13, 2010
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Guys, Licking, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Vagina, Words

Worst. Sugar Daddy. Ever.

NYU grad student #1: So, he texts me and is like “hey.”
NYU grad student #2: Ew!
NYU grad student #1: I know.
NYU grad student #2: Like, what does he want? A conversation?

–Walgreen's, 14th & 4th

Overheard by: Shannon

Posted on April 12, 2010
Grocery Stores, Questions, Students, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires, Words

Otherwise Known As a “Tree”?

Drunk girl in green #1: I'm not shit-faced.
Drunk girl in green #2: No? Then what are you?
Drunk girl in green #1: Oh! A green truck!

–Park Ave & 34th St

Overheard by: I saw it too.

Posted on April 11, 2010
Body Parts, Colors, Drunks, Girls, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Physical appearance, Questions

Questions