In the Name Of the Father, the Son, and the Wednesday One-Liner

Husband pushing carriage to wife: You're lucky I'm on my way to church right now, or I'd kill you.

–Upper West Side

Chick on cell: But the real question is, is he Catholic? And an insomniac?

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Poogins

Sequined Australian drag queen: Well, I know an Antichrist religion when I see it.

–2nd St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Alisha

Girl on phone: He told me he was raped by a Catholic priest when he was little, but like I don't believe him.

–Butler Library, Columbia University

Train conductor: 110th Street, Cathedral Parkway. There are churches here, you know.

–1 Train

Man to woman, after getting off cell phone: Ah, that was Nancy–booty call. She says I gotta get over there before she's got to go to church.

–Q Train

Overheard by: spygirl

Posted on July 22, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Booty Call, Christianity, Church, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Conductors, Couples, Directions, Drag queens, Girls, Library, Men, Murder, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Questions, Rape, Religion, Street, Threats, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday How Many Liners?

Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany?

–Barracuda

Overheard by: barkeeper

Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial?

–Eugene Lang College

Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here

Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday?

–N Train

Overheard by: D-Law

Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people?

–ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: jennyooooo

Student: Is Swedish even a language?

–Columbia University

Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both?

–M86 Crosstown Bus

Posted on July 17, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Bus, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Columbia, Columbia University, Conductors, Family Ties, Flight Attendants, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Guys, Handicaps, Insults, Languages, Latinos, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Race, Religion, Students, Stupidity, Time, Wednesday One-Liners

Happy J Year!

Suit #1: It’s the same judge that decided that the menorah and the islamic symbols are not religious, but that the cross is. And guess what? The judge?
Suit #2: Jewish?
Suit #1: Jewish.

–Madison & 44th

Posted on July 12, 2015
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Politics, Religion, Suits

But I Can Quit Smoking

Older woman: Smoking is a sin!
Young pretty girl, looking perturbed: Yeah? (takes a long drag) So is being ugly.

–54th & 3rd

Overheard by: LeatherJacket

Posted on July 2, 2015
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, Religion, Smoking, Women

Better He Take the Elevator Than a Plane

Man: Jesus is coming, are you prepared?
Hipster guy: Well, he ain’t getting on this elevator!
Woman: Oh Jesus, who let this nut in the building?

–Elevator, 42nd & Lexington

Overheard by: Cirrus Monk

Posted on July 1, 2015
Christianity, Crazies, Hipsters, Jesus, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Places, Religion

How About Gefilte Fish and a Halogen

Guy #1: So what should we get him for his birthday?
Guy #2: I don’t know….what about a menorah?
Guy #1: What? But it’s not Hannukah.
Guy #2: Yeah, but he’s Jewish. And his room is dark.

–Union Square

Overheard by: curious

Posted on June 18, 2015
Jews, Manhattan, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Religion, Union Square and East Village

We Call It “Little Israel”

Guy: So you guys are Jewish?
Girl: Yeah, why?
Guy: Are you from Brooklyn? I live there now, and there are a lot of Jewish people there.
Girl: No, we’re from Staten Island.
Guy: Oh. Are there a lot of Jewish people there?

–Finnerty’s, Union Square area

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Posted on June 8, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Brooklyn, Girls, Guys, History & Geography, Jews, Judaism, Manhattan, NYC Geography, People, Places, Religion, Rumor Has It, Staten Island, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-liners Are Koo Koo

Hobo: Was it right to be kicked out of a house for being an adult with a child mind? You don’t get it, lady. There’s a whole house of adults with child minds. Whatever. See ya! Wouldn’t want to be ya!

–F train

Queer: He totally has to understand that he’s crazy and that those Martha Stewart people are crazy too!

–27th street office

Crazy lady: Well, I think you should give me my musical instruments back because I know that you’ve been stealing them every day for the last nine years. Yes, I’m sure! I have proof. You see, that’s not music. That’s not rock and roll. That’s just crazy.

–Bedford Avenue station

Overheard by: Greg Rutter

Crazy man: I already told you I don’t have no chicken. Besides, I gave you that tree last week.

–54th & 11th

Crazy woman: I’ve got demons behind me, shit next to me, and the ugly ones in front of me. I need an angel above me.

–World Financial Center

Overheard by: Dr. Ballon

Crazy bag lady: Stay away from the people! Stay away from the idiot Mexicans!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Suit: …and I swear to God, man, the whole time? That creepy deaf-mute babysitter from across the hall?…is watching me.

–46th & 8th

Overheard by: ballpeen hammer

Crazy lady: I don’t believe this. Pussyass son of a fucking faggot!

–Lexington & 23rd

Hobo: Would someone please tell Courtney Love to get her goddamned dick out of my mouth? Thank you! Would someone please tell Courtney Love to get her goddamned dick out of my mouth? Thank you! Would someone please tell Courtney Love to get her goddamned dick out of my mouth? Thank you!

–19th between 7th & 8th

Posted on June 5, 2015
A-List, About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Bag ladies, Celebrities, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crazies, Disabilities, Food, Hobos, Insults, Latinos, Lower Manhattan, Manhattan, Mexicans, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Music, On the Subway, Paranoia, Penis, Places, Pop Culture, Private Parts, Queers, Religion, Suits, Topics, Union Square and East Village

Food Was Scarce in Indiana

Girl #1: Okay, what should I get? The Gombee burger sounds good. Hey, that kinda sounds like Gandhi…except he probably wouldn’t want to eat the burger. Remember that time he was on that hunger strike?
Girl #2: Aren’t cows like, sacred to Hindus or something?
Girl #1: Oh! That’s probably why he wouldn’t have wanted to eat it.

–Columbia University

Posted on June 2, 2015
Activists, Animals & Nature, Columbia, Columbia (& Barnard), Idiots, India Indians, Junk Food & Fast Food, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Names, Religion

None of That Explains Carrot Top

First man: So after Cain killed Abel he was sent from exile and went up Europe way.
Second man: Not Asia?
First man: No, the Caucus mountains… that’s up Europe way.
Second man: Oh, you mean like Turkey.
First man: And since black people don’t like the cold, Cain went to live in a cave and started to grow and was the first caveman. Now at that time there was dinosaurs but they weren’t really dinosaurs, we call them dinosaurs but that’s just how God made animals, you know, until you start messin with the DNA of ’em.
Second man: Oh!
First man: Then Cain met his sister and they had a baby together but since Cain was cursed for being the first murderer their baby came out an obino.
Second man: An obino?
First man: Yeah, a red-headed blue-eyed obino and that’s where white people come from. Then they went to the north pole and you know it’s light there six months and it’s dark there six months and the wind is always blowing and that’s where Asian people come from. That’s why they eyes is like that because the wind was always blowin in they faces.

–D Train

Posted on May 31, 2015
Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Default, Global Geography, God, Men, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Race, Religion, Weirdness, Words

Religion