Redhead guy: Achoo!
Suit: Bless you.
Redhead guy: Achoo!
Suit: Bless you.
Redhead guy: Achoo!
Suit: Bless you.
Redhead guy: Achoo!
Suit: Stop it!
–4 train
Overheard by: Sromeo
Redhead guy: Achoo!
Suit: Bless you.
Redhead guy: Achoo!
Suit: Bless you.
Redhead guy: Achoo!
Suit: Bless you.
Redhead guy: Achoo!
Suit: Stop it!
–4 train
Overheard by: Sromeo
Boat PA: Ladies and gentlemen on the top deck of the boat, please do not stand on the benches. If you fall overboard, you will die in this frigid, freezing water. Thank you, and enjoy your visit to Ellis island.
–Ellis Island Ferry
Overheard by: land lubber
Urban sophisticate: Steve Irwin’s death was random. That stingray did not know where his heart was!
–Metropolitan Opera
Overheard by: Opera Onlooker
Male suit to woman suit: So, hopefully you’re not the angel of death… Are you?
–53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: S&B
Teen guy to three teenage girls: I’m pretty sure I’m invincible and can’t die.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Justin
Woman on cell: My trip went really well, except for Marilyn’s* death and all.
–52nd St & Madison
Overheard by: kinicke
50-something professor: So, then the little girl goes back up into her room where she is reading bible verses while everyone else is in church. Then, she either dies all alone… Like Heath Ledger… Or she kills herself. We just don’t know.
–Barnard College
High school teen: Excuse me, do you know where the F train is?
Rich suit: Yeah…you can probably tell that I don't take the subway.
–Union Square
Overheard by: you're probably sleazy too
Female suit #1: So, we have time before the next meeting; should we talk over lunch?
Female suit #2: Sure, you’re the food maven — you pick.
Female suit #1: Any suggestions?
Female suit #2: I don’t eat much. Just coffee and yogurt.
Female suit #1: You only eat coffee and yogurt?
Female suit #2: Yeah….Oh, sometimes i eat sushi.
Female suit #1: Oh! Let’s do sushi!
Female suit #2: Perfect! I love sushi!
–MTV buidling, Times Square
Sassy black lady on crowded train: Excuse me!
Irritated suit: There's nowhere else to go!
Sassy black lady: No! I bump you! I bump you, so I said “excuse me!”
–Downtown A Train
Businessman: I’m sure glad I found that document. I was about to cry.
–Midtown Office
Female suit in bathroom stall: Well, are you gonna have those files? (pauses, makes bathroom noises) Okay, well, I need it today. Listen…okay…(pauses, more bathroom noises) Great! (pauses, toilet flushes) No, it's okay, go ahead. (pauses) Okay, no, I'm really sorry–I'm just entering the subway, that's what all that noise was. (storms out of the bathroom, doesn't wash her hands)
–34th St & 9th St
Flustered 50-something suit: It's burning! It's burning!
–Penn Station Bathroom
Man in stall: There should be a law against what's coming out of me.
–25th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: I agree
Suit in bathroom on cell: Honey, I can't talk to you right now. (pause) I'm in the bathroom! (pause) I've got a fucking dick in my hand! (pause) What do you mean whose dick?
–Restroom, Grand Central
Six-year-old kid, finishing at urinal: Shake the weasel!
–Men's Room, Regal Battery Park City Cinemas
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Suit: So what you really need to do is put together a social networking site for dogs.
–Barfly, 20th & 3rd
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Woman: I swear, my parents are only coming to visit so they can see my dog. Honest!
–Searchlight, 11th & University
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Conductor: Will the man with the small dog in the plastic bag please leave the train. That is not a safe way to be transporting a dog. Thank you.
–Bay Head Train
Guy riding past on a bike, yelling into his cell: Baby! If the dog is talking, that means one of two things…
–24th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: sara n.
Woman on cell: But it's not just any day of the year! It's Yom Kippur! (listens) Fuck you, Dave! Fuck you, and fuck your dog!
–Prince St
Overheard by: elle
Woman in elevator on cell (coming from attorney's office): You won't believe what he did! First he staged photos of me in bed with a dog. Then I turn the page and it's me in bed with my next door neighbor!
–Vesey St
Geek speedwalking through rush-hour crowd with hands over head: Parasites, parasites, parasites!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: it is what it is
African-American lady: The secret life of… What? Who's "bees"?
–Loews Kips Bay
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Woman: I'm a fruit fly. That's like a fag hag, only prettier.
–3rd & St. Mark's
Female suit on cell: We're dealing with racist ladybugs here.
–44th & Lexington
Overheard by: LP421
Female suit #1: God! These people are so, so, annoying!
Female suit #2: Totally. There are too many persnickety people in this world.
Female suit #1: Persnickety people!
Passing hobo: Exceptional cheese!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Alicia Morris
