Teen girl #1: I love our lunch. Cheez-Its, frosting, and water.
Teen girl #2: At least we didn't get soda.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I feel fat.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Jmo
Teen girl #1: I love our lunch. Cheez-Its, frosting, and water.
Teen girl #2: At least we didn't get soda.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I feel fat.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Jmo
Yuppie to French friend: That's the first thing you learn in husband school. Unless you really like doing the laundry, the first time you do it turn everything pink. The second time, turn everything pink.
–Metro-North Line
Overheard by: 2,563 times later my dad still turns everything pink
Teen girl: I love the color brown an' shit.
–86th St & 4th Ave, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Suit to another: Oh, Charlie, don't you know not to wear green on Thursdays?
–Flatiron Building
Stoned guy: Whoa, it's the roygbiv, like, having a threesome.
–Dream House, Tribeca
Brunette: I saw a mess of pink and black on the floor, and I knew it was Michelle.
–Jake's Dilemma Bar
Overheard by: TCS
Thuggish Asian watching Cops in store window: Yo, the one without the shirt is always guilty.
–College Point
Teen girl on cell: I tried biting some people, I got arrested.
–R Train
Overheard by: Jon
Very loud and drunk crackhead to friend: I don't care who you are. Everybody goes to jail some time.
–Hoyt & Warren, Brooklyn
Pharmacist on phone: Oh my, is she okay? (pause) That's when you got arrested on the plane?
(pause) At Fort Dix!?
–Drugstore, 6th Ave
Overheard by: Transit161
Friend to another, yelling across street: Good luck with your rape case…I know it wasn't you!
–Centre & Grand
Overheard by: jzjmrdangerdowntown
Small boy, singing to himself: Goodbye, everybody say goodbye… To Chris Brown…'cuz he smacked a woman and he's going to jail.
–Barnard College
Young man to friend: So, about your girlfriend…I think she and I should fuck.
–Union Square West & 16th St
Street hawker selling datebooks: Wanna cheat on your husband? Plan it out! Get a daily planner, write it in red!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: MPW
Hipster teen girl to friend: Dude, don't worry about it. Whenever I want guys to cheat on their girlfriends with me I always just take off my pants and start singing Afroman.
–Mulberry St
Chick to friends: Seriously, it's a full-on dating service for married people. (pause) Like, adulterers.
–Broadway & Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Chuckles
Guy to another: Have you been cheating a lot? Does she know you're gay?
–6 Train
Hobo: So would all unhappily married women please step forward? I know there are some unhappily married women out there, and I'm willing to satisfy your needs. (pause) I know you're out there!
–Times Square
Overheard by: John
Hobo to teenage girls filling up water balloons in water fountain: You're having a water balloon fight?
Teenage girl: Yeah. We have to be careful, though, they might attack us from behind.
Hobo: That's what Michael Jackson does. (walks away, leaves teenage girls in bewilderment)
–Central Park
Overheard by: Emma
Upper East Side queer teen: Oh my gosh, you have such a cool accent! Where are you from? Like England or something?
Black girl: Brooklyn.
–Central Park
Overheard by: TM
Irritating teen brother: Fine, then I'll just call up all your friends and tell them what a loser you are!
Nerdy older sister: Yeah, well, the joke's on you, cause I don't have any friends!
–Greeley Square
Overheard by: C. Milano
Teen girl #1: I'm not doing it for the same reasons as like people in the sixtes. I'm not trying to see god or anything.
Teen girl #2: I'm not fucking worried about you having a religious experience, I'm worried about you seeing Sgt. Pepper jerking off to Barney or something!
–Escalator, Time Warner Building
Suit: Well, why didn't you stop him? I had to get him in trouble with the deans.
Teenager: Well, it's not my fault if he wants to electrocute his nipples.
–Grand Central
50-something suit on cell: So, are you coming or do you have to zombie-proof the apartment again?
–Downtown 6 Train
Youngish guy all in black: Vampires are so 90s. (female companion nods emphatically)
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Emily
Guy yelling to people dressed as zombies: Are there any fine zombies there that want to suck my dick?
–Union Square
Girl in Santa costume: Where are my fucking elves?!
–LaGuardia High School
Teen girl to friend: Well there are so many leprechauns at that school anyway, what do you really expect?
–Xavier High School
Overheard by: isa
