Little boy: …and sometimes, my penis, gets stuck on my shirt!
Mom: It does, huh?
Little boy: Yeah, but I just pull it back off!
–Barnes & Noble ladies’ room, Union Square
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
Little boy: …and sometimes, my penis, gets stuck on my shirt!
Mom: It does, huh?
Little boy: Yeah, but I just pull it back off!
–Barnes & Noble ladies’ room, Union Square
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
Guy #1: Those pants are cute. Did you buy them with the paint on them?
Guy #2: No, I was painting last weekend.
–68th St Loews Theater
Overheard by: amalthya
Mom to daughter, taking out ripped jeans: Rosemary, the people in Ireland will be thinking, “what is she doing wearing ripped jeans?”
Daughter: Mom, I'm sure that people in Ireland wear ripped jeans.
Mom: Yeah, poor people.
–Laundry Room, W 116th St
Hot British chick on cell, looking through her bag: Oh, dear! I still have your knickers!
–Outside FIT
Overheard by: epsd101
Disgusted teen to pals: You don’t put dirty underwear in a Marc Jacobs handbag!
–75th & Park
Overheard by: Oh to be Priveledged…
Whiny girl: I feel so shitty tonight, like if my D cups were B cups or something.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Trixie
Asian guy to another: By the end of the summer, both of us better be A cups!
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
Girl: What do you mean you don’t know?! Look in your underwear!
–12th & 1st
Overheard by: Thinking about my tighty-whities
Douche #1: Yeah, I can only wear tailored shirts now, I can't wear stuff right out of the store anymore.
Douche #2: Dude, do you, like, get them mammogramed?
Douche #1: Nah, I'm not sure if my tailor does that.
–4 Train
Overheard by: I.D.H.
Woman on cell: This is the same girl who has G-strings where her forks and knives should go.
–2nd St & Ave B
Salesgirl: Do you want your boobies up or down?
–Victoria’s Secret, Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: Linda
Woman: I told Terrence not to pack that stuff in my carry-on. Security threw out all my Victoria Secrets!
–Starbucks, La Guardia airport
Overheard by: Allears
Girl: Only fat girls and porn stars wear Ds. I want to be a C!
–Victoria’s Secret, 57th St
Man: Do you want to get some maternity underwear to make you feel sexy?
–Greene St & Prince St
Overheard by: deadzebra
Man: Are you a Jehovah’s Witness? ‘Cause I don’t want you comin’ to my house unless you’re going to drop your panties!
–PATH train
Overheard by: blkgirl
Girl on cell: Dad? Hi. I just bought a lot of panties at Victoria’s Secret. Can you reimburse me? Dad?
–Broadway & Prince St
Overheard by: djingo
Suit #1: Yeah, when my daughter is a teenager and boys come calling…
Suit #2, interrupting: You'll be sitting at the door in your underwear, smoking a cigar and polishing your guns!
(they laugh hysterically)
–E Train
Overheard by: Jess K.
NYU JAP on phone to mother (enraged): Ugh, mom! No! Wearing seasonally inappropriate outerwear will not make me sweat and lose weight!
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Maeve
Woman in line with friend at Duane Reade, reading can of energy drink: Wait. There's carbs in here? Like bread carbs? Carbs are bread, right? Cause when people go on, like, a low carb diet, they don't eat any bread, right? But I still don't understand why there's bread in here. Whatever. It doesn't even taste like bread.
–Duane Reade
10-year-old kid to friend: So you're a year older than me, but you're 20 pounds lighter? That's fucked up.
–Christopher St & Waverly Place
Overheard by: sharknife
Girl: You know how some people are social drinkers? I'm a social eater.
–NYU
Overheard by: ninja z
Asian fashionista: Yeah, I think I'm like a size 12 in boys.
–Conde Nast Building
Overheard by: jackattack
Loud guy on cell: Actually, I can't be bulimic anymore because I have no gag reflex. I've been sucking too much cock.
–34th & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Alis
Hipster girl outside bar on Halloween: Hey–great costume! What are you?
Young woman wearing black hat, smoking alone on sidewalk: Um… thanks… it's not a costume…
–Mulberry & Prince
Overheard by: Karen S
NYU guy: I'm like a centaur, if ya know what I mean.
–University & 4th St
Overheard by: sarah
Female hipster to friends: Well, vampires are the new zombies!
–147th & Convent
Thuggish straight guy to another: Oh, I'd much rather be a faggot than a demon, dawg.
–Park Ave & Spring St
Overheard by: Christopher Schulz
Interviewer, trying to convince interviewee: There's not much of a future in being an elf.
–Macy's
Italian woman, staring at guy wearing Ghostbusters t-shirt: You donta lika da ghosts?
–Meatpacking District
Overheard by: Looking for my proton pack
