Crazies

Tourist taking picture of guy with ‘Overthrow’ shaved into back of his head: So, is Overthrow your rap name?
Guy: Nah, Overthrow — that’s my movement. I’m a general. Five-star general — see the five stars [shaved into sideburns]?

–DUMBO

Overheard by: Mrs Parker’s 4th Grade Class

Hysterical Man: The bridge is swinging! Everybody get off the bridge!
Reasonable Man: It’s supposed to swing! This is a suspension bridge!

–Brooklyn Bridge

Evangelist outside gym: You want to be a macho man? Look at Jesus!

–Broadway & Prince

Street evangelist on microphone: Y'all ever see two female pigeons in bed together?

–Fordham Plaza

Very agitated priest: Jesus was a zygote once–what if Mary aborted him?

–St. Luke's Church, Whitestone

Crazy subway evangelist: If god could make me a good crackhead, you best believe he could make me a good preacher.

–E Train

Overheard by: Giggling at crack

Preacher: And that's why your religion is null and void.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Alfie

Man: …and then she’s gon’ ask me, “How was church?” I’m like, get the fuck outta here. How many times have I asked her to go to Goddamn church with me? Every fuckin’ Sunday, I ask that bitch to go to Goddamn church with me. Never! Not once has she come with me, now she wants to ask me, “How was fuckin’ church?”.

–Sephora, 19th & 5th

Overheard by: yassira diggs

Mormon guy: So last time I was here, I was trying to get to Columbia, and I missed my stop and got off in Harlem. And I looked around and thought, “I can’t believe I’m the only white person here!” And sure enough, I was the only white person there. I mean, I was wearing a tie!

–flight into JFK

Woman: Oh boy, you are in trouble girl. Jesus says to come over here right now. Jesus says come over here now!

–Brooklyn Museum

Guy: So I really need your advice. My wife was driving on the LIE, and she had a vision from God telling her to sleep with this other guy, so she did. Well, I finally got her to move back in with me, but now she says I’m full of shit and everything I say is a lie. I really want to work this out with her, you know?

–Penn Station

God Squad guy: I love all y’all in the name of Jesus, ’cause I got Jesus! I’m blessed, you’re stressed. I’m anointed, you’re disappointed!

–4 train

Overheard by: saltylips

God Squad woman: Here come da Jesus, fire from his mouth!

–1st Avenue L station

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Girl: Jesus there’s like a restaurant every two feet here.

–46th between 8th & 9th

Man: …come to think about it, my grandfather was in charge of the marshmallow burning during Joan of Arc’s burning, so I guess it’s in my heritage!

–45th between 8th & 9th

Overheard by: Alex Venguer

Deranged woman singing “Greatest Love of All”: “They can't take away my diiiiiiiiignity…”
Passenger: She doing a stripper dance on that pole! Looks like they took her dignity!
Deranged woman: Mommase, mommasa, momma makosa.
Passenger: She bilingual! But she got her dignity back!

–2 Train

Overheard by: never touch the pole

Crazy guy: You gots some pretty eyes.
Woman: Thank you.
Crazy guy: What’s your name, pretty?
Man: My wife!

–A train

Overheard by: tommy Lo

Guy looking at books, to no one in particular: I don’t want to hear or see anything about the devil, demons, voodoo or big hairy black guys.

–Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: 153

Guy hawking pamphlets: How to sucker punch the devil right in the ass!

–W 12th & Brodway

Overheard by: Why didn’t I get that pamphlet?!

Coworker about colleague: Every time he comes by here the number 666 comes up.

–1250 Broadway

Punk kid, walking past a group of nuns: Hail Satan!

–Waverly & Greene

Professor: I don’t want to be saved, I want to go to hell. I’ll meet interesting people there!

–Cooper Union, Astor Place

Overheard by: Hopefully not me!

Crazy older lady screaming on cell: You what? You are buying soda? You are going to go to fucking hell! Don’t you remember the promise you made to god? You’re probably standing in line with some goddamn candy too. You are going to hell!

–W Train

Overheard by: DR G LUV

Crazy Asian to strangers: What?!
Guy: What?! [Each continues their separate path.]

–Essex & Rivington

Sniffer: There are pedophiles everywhere. There are pedophiles in this train right now.
Friend: Mmm-hmmm.
Sniffer: I see them, and I know who they are. I can smell them.
Friend: Mmm-hmmm.
Sniffer: Yeah, I smell you.

–F train, Midtown

JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war.

–Therapy Store

Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars.

–31St & Ditmars, Astoria

Overheard by: Randi and Patrick

(at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton!

–Midtown

Overheard by: Oh the irony

50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian.

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: Ksenia

Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war!

–7 Train