Girl eating falafel: This is the grossest thing I've ever had in my mouth.
Boyfriend: Really? Are you sure?
–1st Ave
Girl eating falafel: This is the grossest thing I've ever had in my mouth.
Boyfriend: Really? Are you sure?
–1st Ave
Skinny hipster girl: I'm telling you, the Polish delis around here are old-school!
Skinny hipster guy: Yeah? How come?
Skinny hipster girl: Cause they've been here for, like … 20 years.
–Williambsurg
Overheard by: The Great Polish Migration of 1990!
Construction man to Indian restaurant server: Can I get a chicken lo mein?
Server: Uh… That's Chinese food, this is an Indian food restaurant. The Chinese take-out is next door, but it's closed.
Construction man to walkie talkie: Hey, Charlie, this is a Thai place and they don't have chicken lo mein. Want something else instead?
–Indian Restaurant, Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: HungryMan
Black guy on cell: Broadway is all gays and Jews and frankly I am sick of it.
–47th St & 8th
Jewish son: I did not call the rabbi to have him check up on you!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: NosyMormon
Suit on cell: Oh yes, I know all about you. You do crazy things. You eat rice on Pesach.
–Fancy Restaraunt, 79th St
Hobo: I bet if I put up a sign that said "hungry Jew," I'd be getting a ton of money thrown at me.
–98th St & Broadway
Old Jewish woman, exiting store with young woman: I know it's silly, but it was German. They killed six million Jews in Germany. I don't like to buy things that were made in Germany.
–Queens
20-something girl to friend: That Jew laid the spank on her!
–30th Ave, Astoria
NYU girl: I love authentic ethnic food, but not authentic ethnic service. Could you please Americanize your demeanor when you hand me a plate? I like service with a smile.
–Washington Square Park
Emo girl to friend, laughing hysterically, with a huge smile on his face: Stop! You've used up two of my three allotted daily smiles.
–R Train
College boy: We should put them on our penises. So it looks like a smiley face every time we pee.
–Williamsburg
Math teacher, seeing smiley face on board: Is that a penis?
–Hunter College High School
Two-year-old boy to mom: And after dinner, it's butt-shaking time!
–Brooklyn Heights
Tot in stroller: Mommy, I want the tabouleh… Mommy! My tabouleh!
–Food Emporium
Little brother pestering older brother playing PSP: What do you like better, Nutella or A-Rod?
–Stanton Tailor Shop
Two-year-old, after falling to floor when train swerved: Mother, I resent that.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Extremely tall black woman watching video excerpt of porn star Marilyn Chambers "self pleasuring": Huh, looks like she's cleaning out a chicken.
–Museum of Sex, 5th Ave
Very round and fat short woman on cell: Next time ya come down to Astoria bring me some ribs! (girlishly) Bring me some chicken or some ribs. (pause) Wellll, bring some tomorra! (pause) I'll be lickin' my fingas at 4:30 in the mornin'!
–N Train
Overheard by: I want some ribs too
Suit on cell: So, the chicken comes out of its cage, and then it picks your fortune!
–Baxter St & Walker St
Overheard by: Kristin
High school girl: I'm sorry, but I was really high, and the chicken was just sitting there in the fridge. I mean, would you think someone's a bad person who kills someone when they're drunk? (pause) Let's pretend I didn't say that.
–86 St
Lady on cell: They eat the same thing all the time. Every single day it's curried chicken, white rice, curried chicken, white rice. I just want a damn sushi burger!
–Downtown F Train
Gay guy dressed in black with painted red hair: So fuck it. I'm gonna make a fetish costume for a chicken!
–11st St & 3rd Ave
Cute girl on Penn station escalator: I dipped my dim sum in her tears!
–NJ Transit
Man in running gear on cell: I never get to, but I'm going to try again. I just hope I don't cry!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Daniel
Girl to friend: I cried so hard it went down and under my armpit.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: porter
Bartender: I'll bet he cries when he masturbates.
–MacDougal & W 3rd
Overheard by: Greg
Woman to friends: My vagina is leaking tears right now.
–5th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Zoe
Guy blocking overcrowded subway car to elderly woman trying to squeeze by: Hey! You could say "excuse me!"
–Uptown N Train
Woman, eating falafel: I'm trying to stay away from fried foods.
–40th St
Five foot, 250-pound woman to friend: Wow! That girl in front of us is fat!
–42nd & 8th
Man on cell: Maybe you're the one with the fucking anger problem! Dick!
–Outside The Met
Overheard by: Yellow!
Drunk to Asian guy: Tell me, why is it that when Asians get in street fights, they never use their martial arts?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Fonvielle
Waiter: Please let me know if you have any food allergies. We ninjas don't like to kill by accident; we only kill on purpose.
–Ninja Japanese Restaurant
Little boy to grandfather: Hey grandpa, are you a black belt or any kind of ninja?
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jess
Health care worker: I'ma kill that ninja!
–Brooklyn Health Center
