Dirty, Sexy Wednesday One-Liners

Young gay guy in Daisy Dukes, shades and tank top, yammering away on cell: Is it totally acceptable to have sex on the beach there?

–43rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Anna Rose

Teen boy to friend: If I were a giant I'd fuck the Statue of Liberty!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: Henry

Chick to friend: As soon as I get over this yeast infection, I'm gonna bang the shit out of him.

–McDonald's, Times Square

Overheard by: Keep It Movin'

Black guy on cell: Penetration?! Penetration?! It ain't about penetration, it's all about sensation.

–E 4th St

Overheard by: girl named sugar

Drunk man to drunk woman, while making out against a car: Let's just go with it…let's just fuck on top of the car.

–Bleecker & Macdougal

Girl to the guy at the next table: Haven't I slept with you before?

–Stabrucks, 78th & Lexington

Overheard by: Ashlee

Posted on March 21, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Biotechs, Black People, Cars and Driving, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Height, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Starbucks, Statue of Liberty, STDs, Strangers, Street, Teens, The Village, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

He’s More of a Skype Dude

Woman #1: I called him and I called him, and he kept letting it go to voice mail!
Woman #2: Well, maybe he wasn’t there. Or maybe he just didn’t want to talk to you.
Woman #1: But, like, it could’ve been Jesus on the phone! And he wasn’t answering!
Woman #2: Uh, Jesus wouldn’t call on a cell phone.

–M15 bus

Posted on March 20, 2018
Cell Phone, Friends, Jesus, On the Bus, Relationships

No More Caffeine for You

Teen girl #1: I’m tired.
Teen girl #2: Don’t worry, we’ll stimulate you… [starts to flail limbs everywhere] … with a dance! Woo!

–Dunkin’ Donuts

Posted on March 14, 2018
Dancing, Friends, Restaurants & Cafes

Wednesday One-Liners Get a Reltney

Hipster girl: And he's always like, "oh god, I'm so hard!" and I'm always just like, "really?"

–Kimmel Cafeteria, NYU

Loud passenger: I'm so horny I'd fuck a potato right now.

–Metro-North

Overheard by: fingerling

Guy: I've had a hard-on all day! I need to polish my lid.

–Hard Rock Cafe

Bearded hipster to another, on blanket in the park: Like, I could have sex eight times in a day and still come here and get a boner.

–McCarren Park, Williamsburg

Overheard by: kalbijim

Girl to guy friend: Did you just get a boner while we're talking about Mexicans and drowning?

–Williamsburg

Posted on March 14, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Death, Erections, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Horny, NYU, One-liners, Passengers, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Vegetarian & Vegan, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg

…Delicious but Deadly

Guy to friends sitting on steps: Anyone want any chips?
(distributes snack chips)
Friend: Hey! What flavor of chips are these? They taste like paint smells!
Guy: Paint chips.

–Union Square

Overheard by: akb427

Posted on March 2, 2018
Compare/Contrast, Friends, Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, Offers and requests, Sensory Experiences, Union Square and East Village

All Women Are Beautiful, If You Know How to Look

Girl: But she’s so pretty.
Guy: So are you! And she’s not that pretty.
Girl: No… Really?
Guy: Well, she’s a whore.
Girl: I’m pretty?

–1 train

Overheard by: She’s not actually pretty

Posted on February 27, 2018
Beauty, Friends, On the Subway

Neither Fitty nor Mrs. Cent Could Be Reached for Comment

Overloud teenager #1: You know what I figured out? All this shit we’re listening to now… When we’re older that shit’s gonna be old school.
Overloud teenager #2: Huh?
Overloud teenager #1: That Fitty track. When we’re… older and shit, it’s gonna be old school. Shit’s gonna be old school.
Overloud teenager #2: I don’t get it.

–Uptown 1 Train

Posted on February 26, 2018
Age/Aging, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, On the Subway, Teens, Weirdness, Words

I Was Born a Wednesday, but I Identify With One-Liners

Guy to girlfriend and friend: Goddammit, neither one of you is a gay man trapped in a woman's body.

–8th & 9th

Overheard by: cracking up

Girl on cell: Are all she-males gay? Cause if they're into women, sign me up.

–Astor Place

Teen on cell: Dudes have, like, purses here…

–110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Al-master

Guy to friend: She's not a tranny, but she's, y'know: tran-y.

–Grand St & Bedford Ave

Overheard by: KateM

Man on cell: You and I are both complex women. It's more complicated than that.

–21st St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Ben

Posted on February 10, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Fashion, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girlfriends, Guys, Men, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Sexuality, Street, Teens, The Village, Trannies, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Me: OMG! WTF? Him: Buh-Bye.

Chick: Do you know how I finally realized I was over him?
Friend: How?
Chick: In the past five years this was the first time I didn’t print out our AIM conversation.
Friend: Wow, that’s great.

–Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: Trace

Posted on February 9, 2018
Breaking Up, Chat, Friends, Store

How Was There Pussy Talk at Barton?

Guy: I’m tellin’ ya, if a girl’s bathroom is dirty, that means that
her pussy ain’t too clean, too.
Girl #1: Well, I have a clean bathroom.
Girl #2: Well, I’d be surprised if you said you have a dirty bathroom
after this conversation.

–David Barton gym, West 23rd Street

Posted on February 1, 2018
Cleanliness, Friends, Gyms, Health and Hygiene, Vagina

Friends