Girl #1: I don’t know if my sister is a lesbian or not.
Girl #2: I thought she was.
Girl #1: Yeah, but the other day some guy was like, oh yeah, your sister dated Nick for a long time, and now all I know is that she’s dating someone who makes omelettes. Omelettes are manly, right?
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: djingo
Girl: Someone just needs to push him off the gay cliff, ‘cuz he’s not jumpin!
–Varick &Vandam
Ghetto girl: I seen Whoopie Goldberg’s daughter! She a lesbian, light-skinned, and she bad!
–9th Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: david hyman
Darrell Hammond: It’s only queer if you’re on the bottom.
–Fordham
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Angry man on cell: This is exactly why I don’t date bisexual guys!
–3rd Ave & 9th St
Girl on cell: I still don’t get why you dumped him. Just ’cause you’re a lesbian and he’s got that thing for unicorns doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been cute together.
–2nd & A
Thug: So I was eating that bitch out, and yo, yo, she told me that she was a lez…A lesbian yo! A lesbian!
–Manhattan Ave & 103rd St
Overheard by: Carol – walking slowly so as to hear the rest
Queer: My friend Carol has been dating gay guys for years and fails to realize it until it’s too late!
–Jamaica Ave and 150th St
Overheard by: Rodney-Rod
Bro-looking college kid #1: Dude, chill with that heteronormative shit.
Bro-looking college kid #2: Bro, are you shitting me? You're such a fag.
–NYU
Girl #1: You know a lot of gays are really straight.
Girl #2: How so?
Girl #1: Most of them want kids.
–Downtown 1 Train
Ghetto girl #1: Raymond is gay.
Ghetto girl #2: No wonder he kisses like a bitch!
Ghetto girl #1: Maybe he don't like those rough-ass African lips…
–5 Train
Overheard by: wink
Queer #1: Well, it’s because they have an open relationship and it seems that Dan is the only one who takes advantage of the openness a lot.
Queer #2: So is it love, because there’s mutually acceptable whoring? It could be love, you know. There’s consensus.
–L train
Drunk guy #1: Hey, how come we never banged our neighbor?
Drunk guy #2: Because she’s 17 years old!
Drunk guy #1: OK, then why didn’t we bang her mom?
Drunk guy #2: Because we’re faggots!
Drunk guy #1: OK, then why haven’t we banged each other?
–V train
A big crazy man walking his dog says: So whadda ya wanna do? You wanna watch Lassie? Or how ’bout Rin Tin Tin? Or whadda ’bout da Little Rascals?…Hmm…OK…Yeah, you’re right, let’s not watch dat. Lassie is a fucking lesbian and Rin Tin Tin is a fag.
–Sullivan Street
Overheard by: Brock
Woman #1: Well, I have a nephew who’s still 10 and enjoys playing with Barbies and likes to cook. Who knows? Maybe he’ll turn out to be gay.
Woman #2: Wait, are most cooks gay? I don’t think so…
–Near United Nations
Overheard by: Brooklyn Dodgy
Straight guy #1: I saw this show on TV about guys who would date girls even if they have a penis ‘cuz they were so hot!
Straight guy #2: Penis is definitely the deal breaker for me.
–187th St & Broadway
