Clap If You Believe in Wednesday One-Liners

NYU guy: I'm like a centaur, if ya know what I mean.

–University & 4th St

Overheard by: sarah

Female hipster to friends: Well, vampires are the new zombies!

–147th & Convent

Thuggish straight guy to another: Oh, I'd much rather be a faggot than a demon, dawg.

–Park Ave & Spring St

Overheard by: Christopher Schulz

Interviewer, trying to convince interviewee: There's not much of a future in being an elf.

–Macy's

Italian woman, staring at guy wearing Ghostbusters t-shirt: You donta lika da ghosts?

–Meatpacking District

Overheard by: Looking for my proton pack

Posted on April 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Hipsters, Italians, Jobs & Careers, Magic, Manhattan, Movies, One-liners, Questions, Sexuality, Store, Street, Students, Stupidity, The Village, Thugs, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

M4M Wednesday One-Liners

Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay!

–Astor Place

Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right?

–9th St, Park Slope

Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys?

–NYU

Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair.

–Peculier Pub, Bleecker St

Overheard by: Mad

Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play.

–Broadway

Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay!

–Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach

Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl

Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick!

–5th Ave, Park Slope

Posted on April 11, 2015
BJs, Clothing, Education, Fag Hags, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Hair, Hipsters, Kids, Moms, Office politics, Queer guys, School and studying, Sexuality, Singing, Students, Teens, Theater & Dance, Tweens, Wednesday One-Liners

It's Wednesday One-Linas, Boo

Thug to girlfriend: Listen, baby, I'm not really lying, fully!

–Ave B & 10th St

Thug: Yo, I wanna go to yoga, son!

–St. Marks Place

Thug: Sometimes I look around and wonder if in my next life I might be a bird.

–1st & 3rd

Overheard by: Angela

Short thug on cell: I'm gonna get you some slippers, mami, so you can show off your feet. Show off your feet. (pause) Show off your feet!

–7th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

Thug to thug friend: Yo, man, you gotta wake up and smell them Arabica beans!

–CVS

Overheard by: freshly brewed.

Thug, yelling to female companion: When you gon' let me show you some dick? When you gon' let me show you some dick? Just let me show you to see if you like it! If not, you can go back to those bitches! At least we'll have something in common!

–7th Ave & 21st St, Brooklyn

Thug, excitedly discussing favorite cold stone flavor: Yo, no homo man! Peanut sensation!

–Downtown D Train

Overheard by: Raven

Posted on April 10, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Birds, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Coffee, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girlfriends, Lies, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Shoes, Store, Street, Stupidity, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Yoga

Ooo, or a Prada Bag!

Queer #1: So, what do you want to do tonight?
Queer #2: I don't know, what do you want to do?
Queer #1: I want to have sex tonight!
Queer #2: You want to have sex with me!
Queer #1: No, with a stranger!
Queer #2: Well…we could put a brown bag over my head!

–17th & 7th Cafeteria

Posted on April 7, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Gays and Lesbians, Lesbians, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Weirdness

Where Else Can He Order a Fuzzy Navel Without Fear Of Recrimination?

Gay man #1: Is he straight?
Gay man #2: Yeah. But he loves a good gay bar!

–Astoria Park

Posted on April 6, 2015
Astoria, Drinking & Drunk People, Gays and Lesbians, Parks, Queer guys, Questions, Sexuality

Sausage or Smoked Salmon?

Girl #1: I don’t know if my sister is a lesbian or not.
Girl #2: I thought she was.
Girl #1: Yeah, but the other day some guy was like, oh yeah, your sister dated Nick for a long time, and now all I know is that she’s dating someone who makes omelettes. Omelettes are manly, right?

–Stuyvesant High School

Overheard by: djingo

Posted on April 4, 2015
Dating, Family Ties, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Idiots, Questions, School, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With Wednesday-One-Liners

Girl: Someone just needs to push him off the gay cliff, ‘cuz he’s not jumpin!

–Varick &Vandam

Ghetto girl: I seen Whoopie Goldberg’s daughter! She a lesbian, light-skinned, and she bad!

–9th Ave & 16th St

Overheard by: david hyman

Darrell Hammond: It’s only queer if you’re on the bottom.

–Fordham

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Angry man on cell: This is exactly why I don’t date bisexual guys!

–3rd Ave & 9th St

Girl on cell: I still don’t get why you dumped him. Just ’cause you’re a lesbian and he’s got that thing for unicorns doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been cute together.

–2nd & A

Thug: So I was eating that bitch out, and yo, yo, she told me that she was a lez…A lesbian yo! A lesbian!

–Manhattan Ave & 103rd St

Overheard by: Carol – walking slowly so as to hear the rest

Queer: My friend Carol has been dating gay guys for years and fails to realize it until it’s too late!

–Jamaica Ave and 150th St

Overheard by: Rodney-Rod

Posted on April 1, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Celebrities, Dating, Eating Out, Gays and Lesbians, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Guys, On Cell, Queer guys, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners

Only Homosexuals Say “Chill” Anymore

Bro-looking college kid #1: Dude, chill with that heteronormative shit.
Bro-looking college kid #2: Bro, are you shitting me? You're such a fag.

–NYU

Posted on March 31, 2015
Frat Boys, Gays and Lesbians, Nicknames & name calling, NYU, Sexuality

According to Unsupported Facts Monthly

Girl #1: You know a lot of gays are really straight.
Girl #2: How so?
Girl #1: Most of them want kids.

–Downtown 1 Train

Posted on March 30, 2015
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Kids, On the Subway, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Sexuality, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Well It's Not Like Everybody Loves Him

Ghetto girl #1: Raymond is gay.
Ghetto girl #2: No wonder he kisses like a bitch!
Ghetto girl #1: Maybe he don't like those rough-ass African lips…

–5 Train

Overheard by: wink

Posted on March 28, 2015
Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Ghetto Chicks, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, On the Subway

Gays and Lesbians