Girl to friend: Oh my god, your boobs have gotten so big!
Friend: Thanks!
Girl: Yeah, it's like now no one has to even look at your face.
–6 Train
Girl to friend: Oh my god, your boobs have gotten so big!
Friend: Thanks!
Girl: Yeah, it's like now no one has to even look at your face.
–6 Train
Girl #1: Did that cab smell like something to you?
Girl #2: Yeah, it smelled like burgers.
Girl #1: I was going to say smelled like the refugees.
Girl #2: What the fuck?
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: penny
Asian chick: Really!? Seriously!? That's so rude! I've never had anything like that happen to me before!
Blonde friend: Yeah, I know! What an asshole!
Asian chick: Wait, are you sure? He just fingered you with all those people in the restaurant watching?
(friends laugh)
Asian chick: Wait…what? I don't get it. That's what people say, right? He fingered you. He put his middle finger up.
Brunette friend, still laughing: No, no! He gave her the finger. He did not finger her.
Asian chick: Oh! Wow! I'm so glad I made that mistake now. I would have told everyone that she got fingered tonight.
–8th Ave, Chelsea
Overheard by: Wondering how anyone makes that mistake…
Boss: Wait, can I ask a city girl question? Do butterflies come from caterpillars??
–Office, 8th Ave
Overheard by: kpan
Tall blond tourist looking at Egyptian artifacts: So, are these, like, all real artifacts, or like, what? Know what I mean?
–The Metropolitan Museum
Girl to station agent: Can I go the other direction from here?
–W 103rd St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Blonde bimbo: Skydiving…is that the one done on water?
–Jerome Avenue Line
Woman, looking around crowded waiting area: I wonder how many people here are waiting for a train?
–Waiting Area, Penn Station
Overheard by: Not from New Jersey
Woman in elevator, after bumping into Al Roker: Wasn't that Tom Brokaw?
–Fisk Building
20-something girl to two girlfriends: We've been dating for two months. Normally in my relationships, it's "he loves me, and I love me," but now I feel like he knows I like him, and that threatens me.
–Penn Station
8th grade boy to another: Aren't I the woman in this relationship?
–Bell Academy
Woman to friend: He said he wanted to dress me up, take me out, and show me off to the world. Instead we'd go out, he'd make me pay, and tell me how great everyone else looked.
–3rd Ave & 37th th
Cute guy in Yankees hat: I need a wild, destructive relationship for awhile.
–Brother Jimmy's, 81st & Amsterdam
Guy: Yeah, I just got over a long-term relationship. You know, two to three months.
–Starbucks, 67 & Columbus
Guy on cell: I don't know if I already told you this, but I don't have a job or a show. So we could go a date until the end of time.
–MacDougal & 7th St
Steve Guttenberg to way-too-young date: I like you and I would like to see you, just not every day.
–Upper West Side
Older woman to bored-looking male dinner companion, as they are seated at a table: Now we have to think of something to talk about.
–The Place, West Village
Overheard by: Colleen
Female grad student: I was trippy enough to talk to Shrek, but not trippy enough for him to answer.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Poogins
Hobo with huge afro chasing after two chatting women: Are you talking when the champion is speaking?! How dare you?
–2nd Ave & 9th St
Teacher to class entering auditorium: Children, stop talking! This is a building!
–College of Mount Saint Vincent
Man on cell: Ray Romano, you're talking to a millionaire!
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Katie
Girl on phone: It's just like, he seriously has a really squishy face that you can stick your finger in, and it goes like a million miles in, and you're just like "what the fuck!" But yeah, nothing happened, we just talked.
–Palladium Residence Hall, NYU
High school girl: She banged some dude with no condom during her period, then she blew another guy after the basketball game.
–Panera, Queens
Overheard by: NBG1
Teen: My health teacher always yells at me for being late. Shouldn't she be, like, sustaining my self-esteem?
–Green Apple Cafe
Overheard by: Julie
Hippie teenager leaving bathroom: When I see you all later, I will not have any idea who the hell you are!
–Nokia Theater, Times Square
Overheard by: dan
Teenage girl to cute guy, after spitting on door window: I have a bad habit of spittin'.
–E Train
Overheard by: MrsBall
Teenager to crying little brother: Shut up! Stop it or I'll take away your ShamWow!
–Times Square
Overheard by: JYC
Teenage boy on cell: I won't cock-block! (pause) I won't cock-block!
–E 77th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Steve G
Girl to friend: Yeah, so before I came in here I wasn't a vegetarian, but now my expectations have changed.
–New Williamsburg Cafe
Overheard by: Nick Ace
Jenny*: When I say that I'm a vegan, the other Jenny, the little Texan Jenny inside of me goes, "you are so disgusting!"
–Tisch School of the Arts
Overheard by: Southern Carnivore
White flyer lady, singing: Peeeeople! Veeeegans have bet-ter-sex, bet-ter-health, and live decades longer to enjoy it all!
–LaSalle & Broadway
Wannabe vegan on cell: Is applesauce vegan?
–Denny's
Guy: You know how vegetarians say they won't eat anything with a face? So what about that woman that got attacked by the chimp? Would they eat her? (stunned silence) Too soon?
–Steinway & Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: Go Rangers!
Very young thug to slightly older thug: My nigga, I'm the fuckin' ghetto McGyver! I can make a…a cigarette filter into a knife!
–Uptown B Train
Overheard by: It's a little too squishy to be very threatening…
Ghetto man: A woman tried to stab me once while we was having sex!
–Broadway & 32nd St
Girl on cell: She got stabbed 15 times. They said it was self defense.
–94th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Dan Rosen
Black guy on cell: Dude, she was trying to stab me with a corkscrew! I couldn't listen to you at a time like that! I was in crisis mode! (pause) Yes! A fucking corkscrew! A corkscrew, nigga! A motherfucking corkscrew!
–Fulton Street Mall
Hobo, wearing plastic crown wrapped in toilet paper: And after I got out of jail for trying to stab that motherfucker with a screwdriver, I said "fuck it, I'm the motherfucking Statue of Liberty! What you looking at, whitey?"
–4/5 Train
Overheard by: Whitey
Hip young NYU student on cell: I was with Ricky again last night. (pause) Yeah, I had to pull the knife out on him again. (pause) No, but it was funny, though.
–NYU
Overheard by: brooklyn1234
40-something man: Hey! I know you! You're Victor's daughter, right?
Teenage girl: Yeah.
40-something man: Wow, look how tall you've gotten. You probably don't remember me, but I'm a friend of your dad's from way back.
Teenage girl: Oh, awesome. (smiles)
40-something man: So…how are you? Still in school?
Teenage girl: No, no, graduated and taking a year off and then studying to be a lawyer.
40-something man, shaking head: Well, be prepared for a life of celibacy.
–34th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Sessi Li
