Girl #1 to girl #3: In case you were wondering, we're kinda Lady Gaga experts. It's a very complicated subject.
Girl #2: And we don't quite understand it.
–Viva Herbal Pizzeria
Girl #1 to girl #3: In case you were wondering, we're kinda Lady Gaga experts. It's a very complicated subject.
Girl #2: And we don't quite understand it.
–Viva Herbal Pizzeria
Corpulent 70-something gentleman, walking up to reception desk of upscale restaurant: I think I should get an awahd for wearing this shoyt today. You know who dis is? Died 50 yeahs ago on this exact day. Da greatest jazz singah of all time: Billie Holiday.
(reception staff stares blankly)
Corpulent 70-something gentleman: You nevah hoyd of her?!
–Nougatine Room
Overheard by: Andrew
Woman in yellow dress: Ya'll know how all women want Tupac with a weave?
Woman's friend: Mmm-hmm.
Woman in yellow dress: Well, this was him! 'Cept he doesn't drink, doesn't cuss, and he goes to church!
–Downtown F Train
Overheard by: Nina L.
Thug selling rap CDs on the corner to nervous Asian boy walking by: Yo, man, you know you want a CD.
Nervous Asian boy: (keeps walking)
Thug, hitting Asian boy on shoulder: You better buy a fucking CD.
Nervous Asian boy: No, thank you. (begins walking faster and turns to friend) You know, I could really see being friends with that guy.
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kay
Nine-year-old boy to mother, forlornly: In five days, it will be two weeks since we last ate in a restaurant.
–75th & Amsterdam
Jewish girl with heavy New York accent: So when we went to the South we ate at a waffle house, aka the most amazing experience ever! Everyone there was missing at least two teeth!
–Baruch College
Overheard by: kteezy
Man on cell: What the fuck was in that Chipotle last night?
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Steve
Preppy teenage boy to friend: Dude, so then I took her to Applebee's. She thought it was so romantic–like "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" status.
–Hunter
Overheard by: Hakuna Matata
Guy in white shirt and tie: So what, so what if the aliens landed in Brooklyn? And they start shooting their guns, their laser guns on the corner, in the candy store? What then? Do we just let them in the shelter?
–John Jay College of Criminal Justice
Crazy guy: I am an alien from outer space! I have crash landed on your planet! This is our language! (saxophone solo)
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Conductor: We will be stopped at the next station for ten minutes. You are not allowed to exit the train, so that means no smoke breaks or bathroom trips. If you do get off of the train you will be abducted by aliens and never heard from again.
–Amtrak Train, Penn station
Overheard by: Madge
Hobo to teen girls: Can you spare some change for a space man? I wanna get drunk later.
–94th St & Broadway
Frat dude: Mickey Mantle is the one dead person I would totally bring back to life to have gay sex with.
–Yankee Stadium Museum
Overheard by: sternie
30-something fratboy to wife: He still gives me mixtapes like we're still in high school!
–65th & Broadway
Overheard by: ENGLEBERT
Young frat boy to friend, deadpan: I came on her face. Then her mom walked in.
–59th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Josie
Drunk frat boy trying to pick up a girl wearing a red and white striped shirt: I'm sorry for interrupting, but I just wanted to tell you…I found Waldo.
–88th & 1st
Fratboy on phone: When was the baby born? (pause) Sick, dude!
–Penn Station
Chick #1: Would Bruce Springsteen be under “b” or “s”?
Chick #2: Duh! “b”! Baaah-ruce!
–Virgin Megastore, Times Square
Overheard by: DawllyLlama
Girl to a friend: I was piss drunk when I saw The Passion Of The Christ.
–Chelsea
Skateboarding juvenile delinquent to crew: We are totally like the movie Kids, all that's left is for me to get Aids.
–Mott & Prince
Overheard by: Dirty needle or gay sex, your choice
Suit to another: The soundtrack to Big Top Pee-wee was amazing.
–St. Mark's Place
Seven-year-old Asian boy to mother, during the movie Up: He loved and he lost…
–Regal Union Square Theater
Crazy 30-something man: Excuse me! You probably think I'm looking for money. I'm not. But I'm looking for a companion! A girl, aged 18 to 25, and she must have a DVD player, so we can watch movies!
–1 Train
Overheard by: nella
Woman: So, my boyfriend has been listening to the Dreamgirls soundtrack all week. He loves that Jennifer Hudson song.
Guy friend: He's gay?
Woman: He is not gay.
Guy friend: Yeah, maybe he just thinks Jennifer Hudson is hot.
Woman: Oh god. He is gay!
–23rd & 6th
