Boys Don't Wednesday One-Liner

Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused.

–Washington Square East

20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl!

–N Train

Overheard by: TR

Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body.

–39th & 9th

Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Ems

Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block!

–Bedford & Grove

Overheard by: How many is too many?

Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis!

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Jingles

Posted on July 14, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, College, Families, Ferry, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Physical appearance, Private Parts, Queer guys, Questions, Rack, Sexuality, Staten Island Ferry, Surgery, Teens, Trannies, Vagina, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

Been There. True Story.

Cabaret host to singer: So what's your story?
Male singer, pointing to co-host: Well, actually, I made out with this one once.
Male co-host: Oh my god! I was just in back, trying to figure out if I made out with you and if it was appropriate to ask!

–7th & Christopher

Posted on July 14, 2015
Coworkers, Gays and Lesbians, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Musicians, Questions, Weirdness, West Village

Don’t Tell Me How to Do My Job

Girl: And to think I wasn’t sure what was going on with him! Then last night I was like why would someone care so much about my underwear if they didn’t want to get into it?
Guy: That’s a great question.
Girl: Isn’t it?
Guy: That should be on OverheardInNewYork.

–Perry Street

Posted on July 14, 2015
Bimbettes, Clothing, Dating, Guys, Questions, West Village

Enough to Be Greedy, but Not Enough to Feel Guilty about It

Chick #1: Sometimes I wonder if my Jewishness has more to do with living in New York.
Chick #2: I totally know what you mean. Like, how Jewish would we be in California?

–7th St, between 1st & Ave A

Headline by: Kevin

Runners-Up:
· “Fantastic Goyage” – j3rry
· “I Think More Than Madonna, Less Than Jesus” – alex gherardi
· “Like, Do These Tefillin, Like, Make My Wig Look Fat?” – Herbie McHebrew
· “Putting the El-Al in LA” – kerm
· “We Still Wouldn’t Swallow, but We’d Spit Cooler” – RaindanceRichard

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 14, 2015
Headline Contest Winners, JAPs, Judaism, Questions, U.S. Geography, Union Square and East Village

Bear in Mind, I’ve Seen That Video Of You and the Other Girl

Mom: We should call up doctor Katz* so he can check you up, figure out your measurements and percentiles.
Kid: I like it when I pee in the cup!
Mom: Oh, do you?
Kid (as they exit the train): Yeah. Do you like the cup mommy? Do you? Do you?

–1 Train

Overheard by: RG

Posted on July 13, 2015
Boys, Default, Kids, Medicine, Moms, On the Subway, Pee, Questions

…Was It Someone Famous?

Gay guy: Where are we going?
Straight girl: Nowhere Bar. Have you been there before?
Gay guy: I don't think so. Oh no! Wait! Someone blew me there in college!
Straight girl: For the last effing time, I do not need to hear these things about my big brother!

–F Train

Posted on July 13, 2015
Family Ties, Girls, Hook Ups, On the Subway, Promiscuity, Queer guys, Questions, School and studying, Weirdness

But Would You Like Some Poppers?

(crowded train at rush hour)
Polite woman: Can you move in, please?
Annoyed suit: Move in where? This guy’s in me.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Zhi Man Huang

Posted on July 13, 2015
Default, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Suits, Women

A Bronx Tail

Teen girl #1, looking at subway ad: Yo, that shit be following me everywhere!
Teen girl #2: The giraffe…?
Teen girl #1: That shit follows me everywhere.
Teen girl #2: That’s because it’s summertime.
Teen girl #1: Who wants to go to the Bronx Zoo?!

–A train

Overheard by: someone who wants to go to the Bronx Zoo
Headline by: Emily

Runners-Up:
· “And you thought the GUYS there were creepy…” – Em
· “Apparently, when nature calls, she hangs up the phone” – Elisabeth
· “Better Than Cats!” – Christin
· “Better that than the old guy touching himself in the corner” – Dan
· “I thought the subway always smelled like that” – Justin L
· “It’s all part of their plan” – Rich
· “It’s better than being stalked by the guy in ‘Bodies'” – Neill
· “Rehab’s a Bitch” – Playtah
· “Smarter than the average bear – but only slightly” – C J
· “Somewhere an Advertising Executive Just Wet His Pants” – jay
· “Subliminal Text Messaging” – Jill
· “The one place it won’t follow me!” – jnice
· “The pink elephants had the day off” – Roy
· “The zoo always has the best shit.” – Adam
· “They are SO voted off the Ark” – Emily

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 12, 2015
Gripes, Headline Contest Winners, On the Subway, Questions, Teens

The Best Things in Life Are Wednesday One-Liner

Woman on cell: Why aren't you looking for some boy to do it for free?

–E 3rd & 1st Ave

Overweight MTA worker with megaphone: Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. No shirt, no shoes: no service!

–Franklin Ave Subway

Overheard by: Jesus Jon

Homeless guy: Free boogers! Get your free boogers!

–8th & 6th

Overheard by: Zack

Old woman with glass of wine and full plate, stumbling out onto the sidewalk: Ha! It's free! Everyone, free food! Ha!

–Open House Art Exhibition, 106th St & Broadway

Guy giving out free pens: Come on, don't be shy! Come get your free pens! This is New York City, only thing you're gonna get for free are these pens and your mother's love.

–Kimmel, NYU

Wanna-be thug eating ice cream: Wanna know how much I paid for this? S'free! I stole it.

–125th St & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Hobo stopped for stealing a box of bottled water: But Obama's President! Everything should be motherfucking free for the next 279 years!

–Duane Reade

Posted on July 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Blue-collar workers, Duane Reade, Excretions, Fat People, Food, Free stuff!, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Love, More museums, NYU, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, President, Public Transportation, Questions, Sex, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thievery, Thugs, Time, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

We Heart This Guy

Awkward Japanese teacher: So you guys use text messages, right? Like… L-O-L?
(students look confused)
(awkward Japanese teacher laughs)
Student, proudly: I know: L-O-L sensei!
Awkward Japanese teacher: Oh em gee.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: vicksburg

Posted on July 12, 2015
Cell Phone, Columbia University, Default, Japanese, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors, Words

Questions