Guy #1: How do you pronouce t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e?
Guy #2: “Tearable.”
Guy #1: “Terrable.”
Guy #2: That's what I said. “Tearable.”
Guy #1: No, “terr.” Like “pteradactyl.” “Terra firma.”
–42nd Street Station
Guy #1: How do you pronouce t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e?
Guy #2: “Tearable.”
Guy #1: “Terrable.”
Guy #2: That's what I said. “Tearable.”
Guy #1: No, “terr.” Like “pteradactyl.” “Terra firma.”
–42nd Street Station
Preppy guy: They say beggars can't be choosers, which makes sense, because we're choosers.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Annie
Red Table change collector guy: Help feed the homeless of New York! All it takes is a penny and a heart, you fucking assholes.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Bemused
Girl to friend: I thought of you the other day; I saw a homeless man's penis.
–Lucky Jack's, Orchard St.
Overheard by: Argopelter
Horny dude (after being rejected by a girl at the bar): I asked her if she wanted a drink and she gave me the look that I give to homeless people on the subway.
–79th & Broadway
Guy to girl sitting at a sidewalk cafe: I know, what is with her? She dresses like a homeless person. And not Mary-Kate Olsen homeless but I-think-I-saw-her-passed-out-in-an-alleyway-with-a-heroin-needle-sticking-out-of-her-arm- homeless.
–10th St & 2nd Ave
Girl, to guy who has just spat on floor: Don't do that! Homeless people sleep there!
–6 Train Station
Angry Spanish boyfriend: You know why I'm talking to you like this! Because your boss was sitting there and you probably had no damn clothes on!
–Broad Channel Subway Station
Girl to friend: Yeah, I can't wait until we take off our clothes and do our make up!
–116th & 3rd
(20-something couple is walking down the street with arms around each other)
Woman: So were you self-conscious when you took off your clothes in front of the children?
–28th & 5th
White guy answering cell: Negrooooo… I'm on the Long Island Railroad being completely homosexual… You missed it, completely naked…
–LIRR
Overheard by: Xavier
Five-year-old girl, before performance begins: Are they going to take *all* their clothes off?
—Hair, Delacorte Theater
Girl to friend: God! I remember when my brother ran into my room naked screaming that he had two buttholes.
–Subway, 14th & 1st
Overweight middle age white guy to friend: I know, I get it, you like to sit naked in the mud while some guy serenades you on his guitar singing about things I don't believe and can't understand. That's your thing. I prefer hockey.
–89th & 4th, Brooklyn
Tall, well-dressed transvestite to 20-something staring at her: Bitch, I can jiggle my titties *just* as good as you.
Shocked 20-something to friend: What…can she really?
–14th St Subway Station
Tourist mom: Oh, look, it's a rat! Come here kids, look, it's a rat!
Tourist kid: Eww, its gross!
Tourist mom: Remember this, this is an authentic New York City experience. See, aren't you glad we missed that subway?
–Bowling Green Station
Overheard by: Guy
Ghetto girl #1: I'm gonna kick her ass. She's such a waste.
Ghetto girl #2: She is a waste. She's a waste of sperm.
–Times Square Shuttle
Country gent with thick drawl: I need tickets for two seniors and two adults, please.
MTA booth worker: Okay, where you goin?
Country gent with thick drawl: My son's house.
MTA booth worker: What train station?
Country gent with thick drawl: I dunno, does “Hartford” sound about right?
–Harlem 125th Street Metro North Station
Hootchie, about subway smell: It smells like gooood chicken in here. Like McDonald's.
–86th St Subway Platform
Overheard by: EthanK
Barnard girl, indignantly: Chickens don't have thighs!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: The Thighless Wonder
Kid to friends: Oh, shit! I forgot there's a chicken in my backpack!
–Canal St Subway Station
Overheard by: Mel
Cracked out lady on one crutch to cashier: Do you guys still carry like, hamburgers and chicken sandwiches and stuff?
–McDonald's
Overheard by: Ben
Perspiring panhandler on definitely non-organic substances holding a can and singing: I love chickennn…chicken breastsss and thighhhs…chicken heads…mmmmmmm…I love them goooood (keeps going) Thank you. (extends his can for donations)
–7 Train
Overheard by: OG Bergenfield
Woman on phone with friend: I mean he wouldn't even cut my chicken in half for me at dinner. I was all givin' him shit for it. We got in this fight and I told him, "That's what people do to show each other that they care! They cut each other's chicken in half or make them a can of soup or whateva'!" You know what I'm sayin'?
–88th St & Broadway
Russian woman to fat guy (after he yelled at her): Escooz me, cood you please poot your ass out of ze vindow so I can seet? (fat guy remains seated)
–B1 Bus
Overheard by: Robert
Gay: Your ass looks great! Have you started bottoming?
–Christopher St Pier
Young kid: 14th Street, like her ass on my face.
–Union Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Pza
20-something gay suit: My butt always causes friction.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Sorority hungover girl talking about birth: I came out ass first, isn't that typical?
–Denny's
Guy to chick: We will use your ass as a presentational ass.
–Weight Room, Coles Gym
Overheard by: Ladle
Teen girl to friend: I feel like my butt just came off. You ever feel like that?
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Alison
High school girl: On the internet, Nike will let you put your name on some dunks.
High school boy: They gonna let you put “hooker” on their shoe?
High school girl (pissed): I told you that ain't my name!
–W. 72nd Station
