Man about to cross street to cabbie wearing turban: You terrorist! Get out of my country!
Cabbie, yelling: I'll fucking kill you!
–University Place & 14th St
Overheard by: Heather
Man about to cross street to cabbie wearing turban: You terrorist! Get out of my country!
Cabbie, yelling: I'll fucking kill you!
–University Place & 14th St
Overheard by: Heather
Woman on cell: He was here for ten days and he only touched my boobs twice!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: and my girlfriend would be upset if it were 10 minutes
Old thug passing three fat chicks on their way to a club: Explosion of titties!
–Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn
Hipster barista guy: A boob is just a moisturized bag of skin, seriously!
–Think Coffee
Overheard by: its to early for this conversation
Full-on punk guy: Dude! Shit is so good! I just want someone to squirt tahini all over my tits!
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Dahlia
Girl on phone: Wait! What? No! Well, I do shit a lot. But I don't want to shit my boobs away!
–Times Square
20-something woman on cell: So I'm like, "Be a man and go in the ladies' room!"
–19th & 7th
Overheard by: tycho anomaly
40-something suit on cell: Why do I have to be the girl?
–University Place & 14th St
Overheard by: rich
Meathead: To the point where the hottest women in Thailand are men. But I mean, no homo or anything.
–Uptown 5 Train
Overheard by: Can't vouch for this
Woman on cell: So yeah, men and women are different. Anyway…
–High Line Park
Overheard by: hudson williams-eynon
Guy, looking at friend's iPhone: Ugh, I really didn't need to see shemale penis today.
–99 Below Restaurant
Overheard by: Calvin SC
Little girl #1 to family: I'm going to be 30 when I have my first baby!
Mom: You know, you can have one earlier.
Little girl #2: I'm going to be 29!
–Tea & Sympathy
Overheard by: Not Preggers
Upper West Side wife #1: He thinks I can operate this household on $25,000 a month–that bastard better get a better job.
Upper West Side wife #2: Yeah, really, he needs to get his shit together.
–83rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Mike
Preppy guy to preppy friends: So then she's throwing these nerf balls at me while I'm furiously beating off on her couch…
–Chinatown
Girl: Masturbation's not really my thing, but I need to be more self-sufficient.
–N Train
Angst 20-something on cell: Ya, I miss riding my bike, it made my ass look so good… Fuck! I just want to go home, smoke some weed, and masturbate.
–Central Park
Overheard by: kate
Guy: I hope this bus gets caught in a traffic jam! (looks down out of window) You may see people jacking off in their cars.
–MegaBus, Top Deck
Overheard by: EuropanGal
20-something girl on cell: Yeah, he's a big dork. Ya know what else he uses? Calculators. But that's just to masturbate.
–Macdougal & 4th
Overheard by: Billy H.
Young women on cell: Oh. My. God! You will never guess who got married! (pause) The masturbator!
–Bryant Park
Guy: For real, this guy has two assholes. Like, vertically arranged.
–14th & 7th
Coed: When my nipple-hairs pop up, that means I'm done.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo to tiny sexy Asian girl wearing tank top on chilly day: Two nipples for a dime?
–9th Ave & 14th St
Cute gay chick on cell: I am aware that it's pride month, but I still like to keep sharp objects away from my nipples. My gay forefathers did not fight at Stonewall so that I might wear body jewelry.
–4th Ave & 11th St, Brooklyn
Mother to little boy: Those are not meant to be shown in public; nipples are private things.
–A Train
Overheard by: g-lime
Crazy guy, yelling: When I see my nipples in the mirror, I look away!
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Zach Rock Steady
Woman on phone: Mommy, how many people do you know who have been raped as much as her? None, exactly!
–Midtown East
Overheard by: dtrain
Woman on cell: And I didn't get raped on the subway today! It's always a good day when I don't get raped.
–6th Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: that's always good
Teen meathead on cell: Wait what? I can't really hear you. (pause) You got raped? Wait… physically or emotionally? (pause) Both? Shit.
–American Eagle Dressing Room
Overheard by: Alyssa
College bro to friend: Nah, dude, it's even better than a date rape drug!
–East Village
Girl: There are some girls who he would be more likely to rape. She's not one of them.
–Graham Ave
Tourist, loudly and proudly: They have this store at the mall!
–Louis Vuitton, 5th Ave
College girl: The second floor was pointless. It was, like, just furniture.
–Ikea, Brooklyn
Woman on cell: I'm not in a store! I know what a store looks like!
–Tompkins Square Park
Perturbed NYU chick, about New Orleans: Hopefully I will survive there for two years. They don't have H&M! Or Bloomingdale's or Anthropologie. They don't have Loehmann's…
–NYU Office
Overheard by: Melanie
Middle-aged guy passing clothing store with shirtless male models at front doors: Hollister? What is it, a ladies club inside?
–NoHo
Overheard by: Arielle
