Irish guy: Yeah, I’m a hundred percent Irish. I just got back from Ireland this summer.
Black chick: Oh, you’re Irish? I’m part Irish.
Irish guy, skeptical: Really?
Black chick: No, seriously. An Irish slave master raped my great, great grandmother.
Irish guy: Well, my family got here in 1909.
–Ulysses’ Bar
Voice over employee's walkie-talkie: Okay, I really need those guns. Anyone who has one, I need it down in bridal.
–Bed Bath & Beyond
Obnoxious woman: So I said, "motherfucker, I'm not your sister–I'm your cousin. So I will shoot you."
–Uptown 2 Train
Large black man: If you ain't got no bullets, you gotsta melee!
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th
Overheard by: Zach
Wannabe hip-hopper, trying to sell CD: It's clean music, and I ain't never shot no one!
–Union Square
20-something guy on cell: They got no right to bring up that gun charge, it's over ten years old!
–19th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Emily Davidson
Dude, after chatting to policewoman: I just have a thing for women in uniform! My mind says, "no, no, settle down," and my penis says, "but she's got a gun!"
–Hudson & Laight
White guy on cell: Yo, shit nigga, this shit the bomb!
Black guy: If you close your eyes, he almost sounds like the real deal.
–Houston & Varick
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Old white husband: What are lamb chops?
Old black wife: I used to buy them for dinner all the time.
Old white husband: What are they?
Old black wife: I used to buy them for you!
Old white husband: I don’t remember, tell me what they are.
Old black wife: They’re like pork chops, but made out of lamb.
–D train
Overheard by: daniela
Black woman #1, to black woman #2: That’s a real cute phone for a nigger without a job.
–Sprint Store
Overheard by: wigger with a job
Guy: I dunno, if I had that much money, I’d spend it on something else. Like pants made of diamonds…Or hookers made of gold.
–Lafayette & Bond
Overheard by: jayloo
Hobo, to baby in stroller: You’re a fucking moron, kid, wasting all your money on that shit!
–Central Park
Overheard by: PeggyG.
Big muscular man on cell: It's so damn hot, I'm glad I'm not wearing makeup.
–Outside Tribeca Deli
Overheard by: Akiko
Conductor: This is 42nd Street, Times Square. Number 3 train across the platform. Get it while it's hot!
–Downtown 1 Train
Elderly black woman to no one in particular: It's so hot my pussy is melting!
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: lemchek
Enthusiastic girl: As soon as I saw his name in lights! His name is so hot! So I have to marry him!
–Thompson & W 3rd St
Guy: I'm telling ya that it was so damn hot in there that my balls rolled out from under my towel and fell on the floor… like they was trying to escape or something.
–Starbucks
Dude to friend: I wanna say she's hot… But I mean she looks like the type of girl who accepts Discover.
–The Village
Black girl #1 to large group of friends: It's like a slave ship here.
Black girl #2: First thing we need to do is get a gyro.
–Penn Station at Rush Hour
Comedy show promoter: Miss! You dropped a dreadlock!
Black woman with dreadlocks: Where? (worriedly searches the ground)
Comedy show promoter, holding flyer in her face as looks up: Just kidding! You like comedy?
–Union Square
Woman: I ain’t havin’ no more babies out of wedlock. I mean I only got this one here but that’s it. He better put a ring on my finger if he want another one.
–Ave B and 6th St.
Guy on phone: That's not the problem, straight guys who are fatter than me get laid all the time.
–Time Warner Center
Man on cell: Of course I'll recognize you! Unless you got fat!
–Sheep's Meadow, Central Park
Gay black man: Uh uh. Girl, her fat ass will so not make it. You better not bring her here.
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: fellow fatass
Excited young teen on cell: Dad! Guess what celebrity we just met?! The Weight Watchers lady! No, the old one! Yeah, Kirstie Alley! We got her autograph! She's real fat now! We met her in the chocolate store!
–W Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: JR
Fat chick: Do not tell me I'm not a size 4!
–Central Park West
Overheard by: Rich H
